Find a Therapist
Share this Blog
Establishing Healthy LGBT Relationships
There is a stereotype that LGBT persons don't desire long-term, meaningful relationships‑that we would rather experience an...
The Molecular Weight of Secrets...
May 9, 2013 It is a beautiful Spring day in Portland, Oregon. I turn in my chair to look out the big skylight in my office. ...
Are You Procrastinating Again?
We all do it, we set goals, create actions to take, say we are going to do something but somewhere along the way we lose sigh...
Anxiety Symptoms and Treatment
Anxiety Symptoms & Treatment It’s important to remember that when dealing with anxiety we first understand that it...
Recently I wrote about shopping being a panacea for boredom. This I thought called for more musings on boredom. Is boredom a...
"Babymoon": Cherishing your last few months as a family of two
Finding out you are pregnant starts an exciting countdown with a very long to-do list. Nine months may feel like a long time now, but those 40 weeks will include some of the most profound transitions of your life. In less than a year, life as you know it will never be the same. In some ways, this process is as much about letting go as it is about preparation. Despite what the naysayers may tell you, it’s not that you’ll never, ever go to a movie again or have a girls’ night out, but you won’t be able to go back to a time before you were a mother. Whatever that really means for you is the part that no one can prepare you for, no matter how wise or sound their advice may be. So, in the midst of writing birth plans and picking out cribs and car seats, it’s time to do a little self-reflection. While you can never know exactly what lies ahead for you as a parent and a couple, you can bet that some things will be a little bit harder to fit into your life, and other things will be a little… well, different.
Take travel, for example. If you are someone who craves an adventure or at least a warm getaway once a year, now is the time to get your carpe diem on and book those tickets for the golden window of your second trimester. As you regain your footing in your baby’s first few months of life, smaller outings (like making it to the grocery store) will provide you with enough excitement as it is, but they certainly won’t refresh your spirit the way travel can. Life with a little one is routine by necessity; things are just easier when you don’t have to reinvent the wheel every day. This means that home may take on a whole new meaning and you may find yourself traveling in smaller circles to make life easier on yourself and your baby. Taking the time to travel now may fill you up enough to carry you through some of the challenging moments ahead when you are sleep-deprived and stir-crazy.
Changing your surroundings also has the benefit of taking you and your partner away from your incessant planning and carves out a time and space for you to simply enjoy each other, slow down and bask in the wonderment of this time in your lives. You are about to embark on a time in life where your happiness and enjoyment will be in direct proportion to your ability to slow down and pay attention. You start to realize that you’ll never be fully prepared for every contingency, and so you might as well set aside all the planning for a while and practice enjoying what is, right now. It is fleeting, just as parenting will be.
One last word of caution: thinking about the last few months before you become parents in terms of a “last hurrah” can cause more stress and pressure than any side-by-side couples massage could ever relieve. As an expectant mother, you’re already dealing with astounding changes in just about every area of your life (physical, emotional, relational, professional) and, let’s face it, real limits to your energy. So, remember to keep the focus on being gentle, nurturing, and connected to yourself and your partner, and keep in mind that while things may never be the same, you are opening yourself up to life changes that have the potential to be more wonderful than you could imagine.
© Copyright 2013 by Pretty Padded Room, therapist in New York City, New York . All rights reserved.