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How to Help a Family Member who is Being Abused by their Partner
Protecting the Abuser "Frequent fliers" in emergency rooms often present with lacerations and bruises, attributing their inj...
Your Most Important Relationship Is With Yourself
If you aren't happy, but know what makes you happy, you’re already halfway there. Your challenge is to figure out why y...
Don't Believe Everything You Think
If you don't want to age, you can't push the pause button on time. If there isn't enough time to complete your to-do list, yo...
LGBT: You Don't Have to Have a Label
Many of my clients who are struggling with their sexuality or gender identity feel a sense of obligation to fit in one of the...
Plan More Than Your Wedding: Plan Your Marriage
When planning your wedding, don’t forget to plan your marriage. Pre-marital planning includes, but goes beyond, figurin...
It seems the more I listen to people in and out of my therapy practice, the more I realize that, for many of us, achieving a healthy love relationship is often fraught with much difficulty. Obviously, there are multitudes of reasons why people may have difficulty forming healthy long term relationships, and I should certainly know, having had my share of "roller-coaster rides", but having ADHD often adds to the difficulty in very distinct ways. This article explores some of those difficulties as they apply to romance, love and ADHD.
Recently I had a conversation with a client who has a long history of unsuccessful romantic relationships. She's a beautiful young woman who has had a variety of passionate relationships which, for some reason never "work out". Over our past few sessions we have explored this pattern, only to discover that the men she most cared for were exciting, handsome, and dreamy, but somehow not very supportive or emotionally available. On the other hand, she had a v...
Determining at what point one should seek treatment for their child or adolescent can be difficult. When a significant life event, such as the divorce of one’s parents, terminal diagnosis of a parent, significant trauma, or other serious event occurs, it is usually more evident that in many cases treatment may be warranted. In the above-mentioned situations, treatment can help your child cope with the change or impending change to their life. It can also have a good protective function in reducing the likelihood of your child or adolescent developing more significant problems later on.
However, when your child seems to be struggling with issues such as bullying, low self-esteem, significant difficulty managing anger, and other more common issues, the decision at which point to seek treatment becomes somewhat less clear.
In general, if you have significant concerns about your child’s or adolescent’s functioning, behavior, or mood, it is best to seek a consultation wi...
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
“All healing is first a healing of the heart.”
- Carl Townsend
We have all suffered emotional wounds caused by some form of trauma, be it physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. These wounds have caused many of us to shut down on some levels. Too many of us have built a wall of protection around our hearts to keep the bad guys out, but have inadvertently become prisoners of those same walls. Spiritual dis-ease is the result, which manifests itself through addiction, anxiety, depression, loneliness, and a long list of other emotional disorders.
What is spiritual dis-ease? Well, the disorders mentioned above are really just symptoms of spiritual dis-ease and not the source of the problem.The most accurate description of spiritual dis-ease is a blockage of love, both to us and from us. It is a separation between our soul (our essence) and a very real energy called universal love. Common sense suggests that a s...
Children affected by Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often have other conditions that make it hard for them to conduct themselves appropriately. Knowing whether such conditions exist and what they are is a critical piece in diagnosing and treating ADHD.
When it appears that two or more conditions might be operating alongside ADHD symptoms, a professional, such as an ADHD psychologist, will attempt to determine whether one primary condition can fully account for the symptoms. That condition would then become the focus of treatment.
For example, if a person has ADHD symptoms only during periods of depression, then ADHD would not be diagnosed and the person would be treated for depression. If both conditions contribute to the person’s difficulties, then both ADHD and the accompanying condition(s) should be treated.
Here are some disorders that often accompany ADHD:
Approximately 20 to 30 percent of children with ADHD also have a specifi...
Quite a bit is known about treating childhood Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and research on adult treatment is growing. What studies tell us is clear; only three treatments have been proven to be effective for ADHD: medication, behavior modification, and the combination of the two.
Other treatments, including certain diets, retraining of sensory processing, biofeedback, play therapy, and pet therapy have not shown any effectiveness for ADHD.
Treating ADHD: Medication and Behavioral Therapy
To help answer the question of which treatment is most effective for ADHD, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) conducted a study of nearly 600 children, ages 7-9, who were given four treatment programs:
- Intensive medication
- Intensive behavioral therapy
- A combination of both
- Routine community care
The results indicated that combined treatments (medication and behavioral therapy) and medication alone were significantly better in reducing ADHD symptoms...
"I’ve never been able to focus on anything for more than five minutes at a time, especially if there are lots of things going on."
"Every single day is an exercise in patience and forgiveness; I try to forgive myself for lacking patience."
"When I realized I had ADHD, I was determined to overcome it."
These are things that people with ADHD frequently say. Perhaps you’ve had similar difficulties and are thinking of getting help. But who should you see and what help should you expect?
Family doctors are the first healthcare professionals you may turn to for help. They understand your health and what you need to stay well. But not all family practitioners specialize in ADHD and know the latest in ADHD treatments. However, they may be an excellent resource for referrals to local ADHD specialists.
A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who understands mental health issues and can prescribe medications for ADHD. In most adults, symptoms do not ...
There are several generalized characteristics associated with children who are diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD). Common characteristics include hyperactivity, difficulty paying attention, impulsivity, interrupting, constantly talking and being disruptive. When we only focus on the final “D” representing the word “disorder”, these characteristics become our expected character of the child. Positive aspects underling these patterns of challenging behaviors often go overlooked when planning academic interventions. Children with ADD tend to be very intelligent, creative, and intuitive. They are often eager to express their interest in math, science, or gym and their dislike for language arts or social studies. They may bypass a learning disability classification as a result of their scaled potential and performance variability.
The gift of intuition is a particular characteristic that often stands...
In my practice, I see many couples with concerns around keeping the romance alive in their marriage. If I were to determine the single most detrimental thing one can do in damaging one's relationship, it would be to not pay attention to one's spouse. I recently read a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh in which he says, " When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there? " I know that for many people, adjusting one's focus sounds like an easy remedy, but for those individuals with ADHD, the ability to maintain sustained attention on any person, place or thing can be extremely challenging. And yet, without this skill, romance may be difficult to maintain. It's that simple. So, knowing this fact, how does one go about making sure that this problem does not become that fatal flaw that dooms your marriage?
Untreated ADHD can be deadly to many relationships simply because the brain of someone with ADHD is wired in such a way that makes atten...
Last month, I shared my frustration with my ongoing procrastination in getting started on my monthly newsletter. As a result, I said that I would work on the next newsletter for 30 minutes each day and promised to report back to you on how I did. In keeping my promise, I wrote the following article;
Being held accountable REALLY DOES work. I definitely made more of an effort to spend time on the planning and preparation of this month's Newsletter, due to my need to keep my promise of reporting back to you. However, I did not spend 30 minutes each day, as originally planned and I made a point of noticing why and how that happened. Here's what I discovered. I noticed that once I got started it was not a good idea to stop after only 30 minutes due to my ongoing difficulty transitioning both in and out, while requiring sustained mental effort, planning and forethought. As many of us know, not exactly an "ADD- user- friendly- activity. " However, what I did realize was that there were seve...
I recently had a conversation with a friend in which I shared my frustration with being "under the gun" around writing my October Newsletter. Now, I normally follow my own advice when it comes to procrastination, and I generally stay on top of my work load for the most part, but for some reason, no matter how good my intentions, miraculously, it seems that every month, the entire month "slips by", leading to a lot of self imposed pressure to get it done NOW. Sound familiar? Well, for many of us, with ADHD, procrastination is an ongoing dilemma that seems to plague our lives and create a lot of unnecessary stress. On my friend's suggestion, I decided to share my dilemma with you, in the hope that I will not only find a solution for myself, but help in better understanding the thought mechanism behind procrastination and how these thoughts influence our ability to achieve our goals. Therefore, in working on my own goal to get my Newsletter done early each month, I have decided to block o...
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