Anger Management Counseling Category

Catastrophizing - 5 Steps to Calming Calamity

Catastrophizing - 5 Steps to Calming Calamity (part 2)
Suggestions to help limit catastrophizing and to alleviate self-destructive tendencies.
(Part I of Catastrophizing, What If…@ alexxehelp.com)

If you were catastrophizing, would you recognize it? Could you spot catastrophizing in someone else? If you don’t know you’re doing it, you won’t be able to stop. Dr. John Grohol recommends recording negative thoughts on paper and to write down what happened as objectively as possible, what you thought about the situation, and then what your reaction or behaviors were. 

Over a week’s time, you’ll begin to see a pattern emerge of when you’re most likely to catastrophize and some of the thoughts or situations that most likely lead to it. 

Now (looking at your negative thoughts recordings) that you can see some of the direct cause and effects of your thoughts, you can begin the process of steering your thoughts in a healthy direction.* Stopp...

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Nine Charactertistics of Anger Behavior

Characteristics of Anger Behavior:

  • You don’t own or state your feelings directly—you slam doors, call people names, refuse to talk.
  • You may use sarcasm to express your anger and frustration.
  • You loose your temper and fly off the handle-have temper tantrums.
  • You intimidate others so they react defensively to you.
  • You insist on getting your own way.
  • You blame others or complain, things are always someone else’s fault
  • You hold grudges and vow to “get even
  • You make statements like “you make m"e mad”
  • You use explosive words and hand gestures

What is anger?

  • relates to a violation of one's standards; either you or someone else has violated these standards
  • sometimes these standards need to get re-evaluated
  • Anger is a secondary emotion- first you feel fear of loss (love, control, your integrity) then hurt, then anger.

Psychological Payoffs / Secondary Gains

  • Attention-getting behavior—people have to notice you
  • You feel a sen...

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Disappointment: How does it Happen?

What are some examples people have reported of experiences that led to feelings of  ‘disappointment?”

1- a love relationship collapses                                         5- no recognition for hard work you have been doing

2- you get turned down for job you really wanted               6- a friend, family member or date does not call

3- feeling misunderstood by a spouse or family member      7- a partner/family cancels a planned dinner

4- you just can't seem to reach a weight target                   8- poor performance and greades at school or s...

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WHAT DO COUNSELLERS DO?

Counsellors are professionals who provide a service to support people to develop better understanding of themselves and others, deal with life difficulties and make the changes they want in their lives.

Counsellors and highly skilled in a wide variety of therapy interventions across a spectrum of life difficulties.

Counsellors work in private practice and in public and private organisations

Counsellors work with current life transitions and crisis and longer term difficulties.

A counsellor enhances a person's capacity to cope with life challenges such as:

  • Relationships and relationship endings
  • Grief and loss ( including pets, menopause, divorce)
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • Bullying
  • Domsetic Violence
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • Childhood Trauma and Abuse
  • Addictions

Seeing a counsellor reduces stress and helps people copy with distress and crisis. Counselling also assists in developing inner resourses and setting of life goals.

Counsellors work face to face, online ...

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THE DYNAMICS AND MECHANICS OF ALLOWING THE PSYCHE TO BE UPDATED

I've finally reached a place where I'm either confident or arrogant enough to write this, depending on your point of view. I offer it in the hope that it will help relieve human suffering and bring more peace.

Nothing in what follows is really new or startling. I've merely refined and simplified and amalgamated existing truths and modalities. It is however eminently practical and can be used by anyone who wants to be genuinely free of suffering.

The only real criteria for success is wanting to be free more than you want your personal story of you to be real.

The speed with which the programs let go of you depends on whether your love of truth and freedom is greater than your attachment and identification with the energy of the program and the identity it seems to give you and the secret pleasure derived from the negativity of it.

To be free of suffering you basically have to tell the truth about what you really want.

The Buddha is reported to have said that desire is the root of a...

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The Investigation

One of the saddest rewards of greatness is an individual who will deliberately seek out your flaws, only to avoid someone discovering theirs. This is the nature of leadership bruised by being overweight or the need to over achieve and this sadness goes on in the church. When someone with a legitimate gift and calling comes on the scene and is recognized by the Chief Apostle of the house, CEO of a solid Fortune 500 company, all of a sudden, the elders are nervous, the assistant pastor now needs to investigate your documents and apostolic succession to make sure you are known by someone other than the credentials you hold, and the executive V.P. goes out of his way to misdirect you from any and all meetings, forgetting that you have the pipeline of favor and are well liked by the CFO in charge of a business venture that has been out of reach. For all intended purposes, some of this is truly needed. But when you’re an educated Man\Woman, Rev.Dr./Newly Degreed, Partner in the states m...

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Own Anger To Manage It

Though no one category fits all, in my psychotherapy practice I notice a strong correlation between folks with chronic anger management problems and those who exhibit self-defeating personality traits. Many of these clients seem to organize identities around a core belief that they are victims. We believe this to be true because we continue to suffer from parental improprieties long after growing up and leaving home. As much as clients express sincere wishes to move forward with their lives, making these wishes a reality are easier said than done. Each and every time they are angry, the experiences feel as if salt is being poured on their incompletely healed emotional scars. They are especially resistant to the notion that their parents and themselves for that matter, did and still do the best they can given their limitations and the limits of the support they receive from loved ones. They prefer to collect grievances and hold grudges even though such dispositions hold themselves back ...

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Black and White thinking Is it Human Nature?

 Much is made of the tendency to see the world…situations, people, countries….life itself…as “black or white”, “good or bad”, “positive or negative”. Therapists will tell you that this inclination is the root of all kinds of problems and difficulties. And well it may be… But just how did we humans develop this nasty habit of dividing our perceptions into “either or” categories anyway?

In this universe of opposites, is it possible to live in the Oneness?

Melanie Klein, a revolutionary psychoanalyst who was a student of both Freud and Ferenczi, discovered in her ground breaking work of the 1950’s and 60’s, that the infant’s tendency to split the objects in the world into “good” and “bad” stems from the earliest of all instincts…hunger. When mom is there to satiate that hunger, baby sees her (and the world) as all good and loving…the source of comfort ...

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Constructive Anger or Destructive Rage

People often confuse anger with rage. There are very important differences. Anger management ideally should focus on communication skills, learning how to express your dissatisfaction in a way that will get the results you want. Anger is a healthy emotion when we are treated shabbily, with disrespect, etc. Good communication skills, when we are angry, are very important in order to protect ourselves and get what we want out of life. In rage we lose control, we do feel anger but it is also combined with a strong sense of helplessness. We often describe that feeling as "banging our heads against the wall." Anger management, stressing communication skills, cannot help in the long term with rage. With rage we need to deal with the underlying emotions, often childhood trauma.

Rage tears you apart, you lose control, you say and do thing you never would do otherwise. At that moment you may feel a surge of power, letting go of all the pent-up anger and pain, you want to hurt the people, past ...

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THE US GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN!

Hi Everyone:

How are you?

How is the US government shutdown affecting you and your family?

Have a great weekend!

Dr. Vicki

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