Child Development Category
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Counselling in the Community
When people ask me:” at what point shall I seek counseling?” I tell them: “if you feel like you are not as ...
Establishing Healthy LGBT Relationships
There is a stereotype that LGBT persons don't desire long-term, meaningful relationships‑that we would rather experience an...
The Molecular Weight of Secrets...
May 9, 2013 It is a beautiful Spring day in Portland, Oregon. I turn in my chair to look out the big skylight in my office. ...
Are You Procrastinating Again?
We all do it, we set goals, create actions to take, say we are going to do something but somewhere along the way we lose sigh...
Anxiety Symptoms and Treatment
Anxiety Symptoms & Treatment It’s important to remember that when dealing with anxiety we first understand that it...
It’s normal and common for young children to be afraid of the dark. One study showed over 73% of kids aged 4-12 years said they experienced fear at night (Muris et al 2001). While another study showed that even up to the age of 16 teens, admitted to nighttime anxieties or fears. Research shows that if parents treat their children’s fears at an early age, they can help their children avoid emotional problems later in life.
Kids need your help in overcoming nighttime fears.
1) Help them by teaching them how to handle their emotions. Young children don’t know how to calm themselves down. Sit with your child and help them breath slowly to calm themselves. Hold them and comfort them when they are scared.
2) Sit with your child and help them look at their room in the dark. Point out “that bump is the lamp on your desk or a pile of toys”
3) Leaving a dim nightlight can be helpful. For other children leaving their door open at bedtime can also create a sense o...
Boosting Your Kids' Self-Esteem and Confidence
Use the following tips to boost your child's self-esteem and confidence in healthy ways..Remember kids internalize who they are from the way adults, particularly parents, treat them.
- I listen to my kids and acknowledge their feelings.
- I understand that both my kids and I will make mistakes.
- I am not afraid to say "I'm sorry” when the mistake is mine.
- I am clear and consistent about discipline.
- I use "I" statements to express my thoughts and feelings.
- I avoid "you" statements that blame, shame, label, or ridicule my kids.
- I encourage my kids to be independent, but I make sure I'm available if they need me.
- I am teaching my kids valuable lessons such problem solving, communication, sharing and respect for themselves and others.
- I use the same good manners with my as kids that I would with an adult.
- I honor each of my kids’ unique abilities and personalities, allowing them to be different.
- My behavior with ...
Ever have a weird exchange with someone and then say to yourself: what the heck was that? I had two of them this week. At first I thought, what did I do or say wrong? It did not take long for me to come to the realization what the answer was: NOTHING!! Not to say that I never do anything wrong but 99% of the time, in situations like these, I find that the issue is with the other person. Maybe they had a bad day or an argument with someone just before they saw me. I have learned not to take this type of thing personally and to just learn from it and move on!!
October 9, 2012
I walked into the courtroom and saw the judge dressed up like a jester. Hanging from the rafters were orange, yellow, and blue bunting. Balloons were everywhere. In the middle of the court room was a huge piñata. Over four feet, top to bottom, a deep ruby red. It was in the shape of a heart. Beside it was the most beautiful wooden gavel, two feet long with thin silver filigreed inlay. Around the judge-jester, on every side, amongst the balloons, looking up at the piñata...were hundreds of children dressed up like judges. The judge-jester raised his hand, and everyone, from toddlers to children who had just celebrated their tenth birthdays, were silent.
The judge-jester, a man in his sixties with freshly-scrubbed face, smelling a little like soap, a little like sweat, and a lot like amateur clown make-up, cleared his throat ceremoniously. The children became even more quiet. "In the past ten years, I have made the final decision as to where each o...
When we are in child-bearing years, we all dream of creating a “perfect” family. We often talk-about, analyze, and critique the many mistakes our parents made and determine that we won’t make the same mistakes. Twenty years later, we realize that, although we didn’t make the same mistakes, we made our own mistakes – some of those were made just in the process of avoiding our parent’s mistakes.
Parenting is hard (maybe impossible). Thankfully, most children are forgiving. Parenting does work; but it works because our children help us to make it work, not because we do it perfectly. Our children want good parenting and, if we listen to them, we can learn much from them about how to parent them.
The only reward we get from the years and work of parenting is a possible wonderful relationship with an adult child, their partner, and their children. Keep that in the forefront of your mind and try to not sacrifice this in your quest to raise your children....
In my 20 years of work as an Aspergers psychologist, I have found six strategies that are most important in helping children and adults
with Asperger’s Syndrome.
Some of these strategies are more useful for children than adults and others are more suitable to certain individuals then they are to others. But overall, these strategies form a comprehensive treatment plan that ensures the most success in helping people cope with Aspergers.
Without exception, the most important step in addressing Asperger’s Syndrome is obtaining an accurate diagnosis.
At first glance, some people with Aspergers may appear to be excessively shy, odd or awkward. They may be anxious, hyperactive, socially isolated or depressed. Anger management, procrastination, organizational problems and difficulty using information gained from one’s senses are frequent components of Aspergers.
Too often, these symptoms are seen in isolation, separate from each other, rather than vi...
Being a parent is one of the most important jobs in the world. Parenting a child with Asperger’s Syndrome is not just an important job, it’s a hard one. Children with Aspergers present us with all the usual parenting challenges, plus a whole lot more.
In my work as an Aspergers psychologist, I have found six key solutions to the challenges of parenting children who have Asperger’s Syndrome.
1. Early Intervention
It is better to find out that your child has Aspergers now than to wait until later. There are many things you can do to make your child’s future successful, and the sooner you understand what you and your child are facing, the better off you will be.
It is well known that development in children can more easily and effectively be influenced in earlier stages than when children are older. Indeed, studies have shown that intervening as early as three years of age has more impact on children with Aspergers than waiting until later, even as li...
Parents sometimes worry that the mental and emotional health of their children is so complicated that only a professional knows what’s best for them.
Even child psychologists occasionally fall into the trap of thinking that their expertise is necessary when it comes to fostering kids’ emotional health.
The reality is that there are some basic ways to promote children's mental health. Parents, friends, teachers and other professionals who live and work with children are in positions to encourage their growth and correct problems before they begin.
Here are 10 suggestions to promote children's mental and emotional health:
- Read with your child every day as part of the family routine. Bedtime is a great time for reading nursery rhymes and stories.
- Find ways to play with your child that you both enjoy every day. Tell stories, sing, and make rhymes together. Include some type of regular physical activity, such as a walk or bike ride around the neighborhood.
Ten years ago, autism was rarely detected before ages three or four. Now, thanks to growing awareness and advances in detecting autism as early as 18 months, more autistic children are being identified when they are toddlers.
But early detection isn’t useful unless there are effective interventions.
Fortunately, one such approach exists. The Early Start Denver Model (ESDM), is a comprehensive treatment program that involves intensive efforts by teachers, parents, and therapists (including autism psychologists) to provide autistic children with social engagement and language skills development that are crucial to combating the detrimental effects of autism.
The ESDM approach is unique among treatment approaches in that it has been rigorously studied using randomized, controlled trials of children as young as 18 months. A recent study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health found that children exposed to ESDM jumped an average of 17 points on IQ tests compare...
We often get caught up in the roles we play. For example many people base their feeling of self worth on their career success. It is important to differentiate: career success is career success-it means your good at your job and hopefully get well paid for it as well. Separating self worth from the roles we play is crucial. For example, career success is long and drawn out with many highs and lows in the process. If we attempt to link our self worth to this, it is a roller coaster ride. Remember that we start our lives with very high self worth. Exterior events do not change this fact, unless we decide to enable them to do so. How we feel about who we are really has nothing to do with the roles we play. Having true self worth is merely a matter of mentally stripping ourselves free of the roles we play and realizing that each and every one of us has something important to contribute to the world.
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