Christian Counseling Category
Hotwired for Relationships?
Ever feel that you aren't complete unless you are in a relationship with someone? Ever find yourself in an endless pursuit of "the perfect person," the one who will bring a greater sense of "okayness" to yourself? Share
Wall Street Christians (The emotional conflict of God and Money)
In today’s fast-paced world where a minute lost is a dollar spent it is becoming harder and harder for modern day Christians to separate their beliefs from their everyday actions and activities. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the workplace, where everything is subject to collective scrutiny.
Many practicing Christians in positions of authority or those whose roles require guiding and managing others are constantly realizing that it is much harder to actually “Practice what you Preach.” For those whose everyday activity involves the manipulation and fabrication of capital, this can be an even greater challenge. The term “greed is the route of all-evil” can be a bidirectional emotional conflict. It’s hard to be a Samaritan when all through the year your primary focus is on ensuring you attract the highest bonus.
Karina Cole, a counselor at Emotional Care Associates has hands-on experience with working in the world of business and finance, whil...
Should your beliefs or values matter when choosing a therapist?
In today’s society everyone is looking for a way to ‘fix’ their problems. However, the role of the therapist isn’t like that of a surgeon, who carries out a routine procedure to correct a problem. The active ingredient in successful therapy is the relationship you develop with your therapist. The better this relationship is, the more effective your therapy will be. That said, it might be easier to develop a strong connection with a therapist who shares some of the beliefs and values that you do.
A common reality is that many therapists have been taught to keep an objective distance or to show a neutral face. This is often taught for the betterment of the client, so that they never impose their own thoughts, beliefs, views or intentions on the client.
Another possible reality is that the therapist’s views may clash with the client’s. For example, a counselor may not believe in monogamy or accept the teachings of the Bible, whereas the client is a Ch...
Pornography Addiction: Crack Cocaine to the Brain
Pornography addiction usually starts out with casual viewing and progresses to an out-of-control addiction that destroys relationships, careers, families, and leads to extreme despair for the addict. The addict needs more frequent and intense pornography to achieve the same level of satisfaction as before. Even though the addict desires to stop, there are recurrent failures to curb and resist the impulses. The addict finds him/herself limiting social, occupational or recreational activities in order to engage in the addiction. Stopping pornography use will cause irritability, restlessness, depression, anxiety, headaches, and possible body aches.Women who suspect their husband’s porn addiction report a feeling of loneliness and a lack of emotional connection with their spouse. These women may feel they are not sexy or pretty enough and go to extremes to make themselves more sexually attractive or available. Many times this will include engaging in sexual acts they find degrading an...
True needs are permanent throughout the life cycle.
True needs are permanent throughout the life cycle. If a child’s needs are never met, what are the implications for the adult phases of life?
It is without question that identity crisis, emotionally deprived individuals and those with personality disorders will exhibit many difficult obstacles that will be challenging in the progression from the varied life stages. This is the internal outcome of a confused and vulnerable person scarred by invisible wounds covered by his or her work. Even isolation is a reaction of the fear of being rejected. If challenged by anyone other than a skilled practitioner, violence is more than likely to be the reaction of limited choices. Even worst is the self-medicating remedy to hide the external torment, and denial or self-assurance leading to a false sense of confidence and control, now relying on an imaginary power that have not experience any real sense of maturation.
Socially unacceptable behavior as a normalcy of ones means of coping is the...
Out with the Old and In with the New
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Many of us know this beautiful scripture, but who among us truly lives it? Where do we learn who we are and what is our value to the world? Is it possible that these answers evolve over time?
Growing up in a dysfunctional, possibly abusive family has become so common today that it challenges the very definition of “normal.” Divorce rates have maintained a rate above 50 percent for more than a decade. Regardless of the family structure, the reality is that many of us were not raised to be mentally healthy, securely attached children and in fact, many times were being raised by parents whom themselves were not mentally healthy as a result of their own up bringing.
Given this intergenerational pattern of “bad programming,” it is not surprising that so many of us grow up with a less than stellar view of ourselves. Perhaps you learned as ...
The Christmas Crunch
Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, Winter Solstice, we refer to them all as the holidays.
Although we wish each other Happy... Holidays, there appear to be many folks who don't feel too happy during December. There are better ways to celebrate this year so you don't feel crunched by Christmas.
Consider what you are really celebrating and say "no" to events and stresses that clutter what's important.
Many people say what is really important to them at this time of year is family and spending time with the people who really matter to them. However, they find themselves so busy with holiday events that the special time they'd really like to spend with their loved ones eludes them year after year. This year instead of a gift exchange among adults, consider sharing a special event or just time together.
Greeting Cards
In recent years, I have received several greeting cards from friends and family who have placed in their card a picture of a gift give...
Thanks for Everything: Giving Thanks & Appreciation for ALL the Blessings of Our Lives
This Thanksgiving I want to pass on a little wisdom that guides my life. I believe that every single thing that happens to us in our lives is a blessing, and I mean everything. I can now look back on my life and explain every trauma, every horrible thing that once cast me as a victim, as a beautiful blessing that caused me to grow and strengthened me in some way. Each thing has increased my knowledge and has given me the experience and wisdom that I pass onto other people who are stuck or suffering.
It was not always like this. I used to be angry and felt victimized by my very abusive childhood. Or later on by a very unjust situation that landed me in jail for 16 months. Talk about angry and confused, feeling I was a victim! By human standards I was a victim, though by a more expanded, enlightened view I came to be grateful and even happy I had these experiences.
When I go to bed each night and when I awake each morning I always find myself thanking God for EVERYTHING in my life, all...
Honesty in Communication
Honesty in our relationships is crucial to their success. Still, there are those who will say that "honesty is the best policy" and then speak in a manner that can be hurtful and damaging. When we love or care about others we must take responsibility for how we communicate with them. How many weddings have you attended where the "love passage" is read? In part, this passage states that "love does not act unbecomingly." While we will all make mistakes in our communication, we can strive to "speak the truth in love." Yes, I am quoting the Bible, and I am also referring to the work of John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.
Gottman points to criticism of our partner as being destructive to our relationship. Will we have complaints? Absolutely! And more importantly, in order to have a healthy relationship or marriage I encourage you to share your frustrations and needs. A skill that can be learned is to turn a criticism into a c...
Cyber Sex Addiction May Be In Your Marriage.
Cyber Sex Addiction May Be In Your Marriage.
By M. Rivest Ph.D., D.S.T.
Board Certified: Sex Therapy & Counseling (UACCI)
www.MarriageCounseling.org
www.SexCounseolors.org
336 760 1780
“We argued that night. I went to bed early. He stayed up. Somewhere about 2AM I noticed he was not in bed. I roamed through the darkness of the house. I found him in his usual spot, his basement office. The blue green glow of the computer made him look diseased. He was looking at porno, again,” reports a counseling client.
The Internet has become the newest, most rapidly growing form of sexual acting out for many sex addicts. The internet fills a need for "more, easier and better." For the cybersex addict, increasing amounts of time are spent "surfing," downloading, creating files, masturbating, reading information posted on sexual bulletin boards, exchanging sexual information live with others in sexual chat rooms or via computer cameras, or directing their own live sex shows on i...
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