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Don't Break the Bank...Or Each Other: 3 Ways to Divorce Cheaply and Peacefully
Even though divorce can be incredibly difficult with emotions running high, the truth is that any couple – that’s...
You Are A Miracle: Self-acceptance Fosters Resilience
The most difficult thing in the world for many of you is to love yourself. No matter what your issues might be: Addictions, e...
Healing Grief: Help For Grief Online
Grief is an overwhelmingly painful experience when you've lost someone you love through separation or death. The bond of love...
Get your Self Esteem on.
Wait. Now that you are a grown up person, who is making the rules for your life? Who is telling you what to do?&n...
Therapy with Gay Male Clients: Why It 'Takes One to Know One'
Many therapists enjoy working with gay male clients. After all, we tend to be middle-class (or higher) professionals wh...
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Assess Six Factors in Others and Yourself
Whether you are learning about a prospective mate, deciding on a new business partner, or resolving a current problem with a friend or family member, here are six factors to consider.
First and Foremost: a well-developed sense of responsibility
- Words and actions match;
- agreed-upon division of labor
- No withdrawing from difficult situations or blaming another and venting and ranting
Second: Self-Awareness: how well you know yourself
- and how well someone knows him or herself.
- Knowing oneself requires you think clearly about your desires and values.
- Until you see someone in a variety of situations you won’t know if he can be respectful when angry or communicative when stressed
- Most people do not lie; they may however employ self-deceptive thinking telling you what they believe to be true about themselves
Third: know what someone values
- If you know what matters to someone you will be able to adjust your expecta...
Ahh... The good old summer time; the time of summer vacations, summer movies, summer camps, summer jobs, and for some kids, the dreaded summer school! Indeed, for most kids and teens, summer is filled with staying up late and sleeping in even later. For parents, however, summertime can be a time when conflict with one's teen is magnified.
Ever had a teen that not only sleeps all day and eats you out of house and home, but in today's technologically driven world, seems to have grown an extra appendage...a cell phone. Teens these days can't seem to put it down. It’s with them when they awaken and when they go to sleep; it’s with them at the breakfast table and the dinner table; it’s even with them when they go to the restroom. Yes, today's teens seem to believe that putting their cell phone down for just one minute would be akin to chopping of an appendage such as their hand, or foot. Does the following vignette sound familiar to you?
Parent: "Hello (insert name of te...
Have you ever wondered why people get married? It’s no longer a necessity in modern day, so why is that piece of paper still so important to some of us? Why do people get married in the first place? There are a number of different reasons that people marry. Only you can decide if it’s right for you. It is certainly beneficial and respectful to the commitment of marriage that two people enter the union with their eyes open. Marriages that are born on faulty ground can be doomed before the ceremony. The following reasons to get married are in themselves, not enough to ensure the best beginning in planting the seed that we all hope will grow into a lasting relationship. If that’s what you’re working toward, the following list may warning signs that readiness and rightness is not quite prepared to have a relationship built on a solid foundation.
On Marriage - Have you ever wondered why people get married? It’s no longer a necessity in modern day, so why is th...
Cell Phones and Relationships
Time Together & Apart
Both the quantity and quality of time we spend together influence the well being of our friendships, family interactions and intimate relationships. Spending time apart, participating in other activities is also of great value and influences a relationship, especially a romantic one. A healthy relationship needs balance: time to interact with family, friends, colleagues, self and definitely quality time with your significant other. Balance in the relationship is a necessary rung toward success.
Researchers from the University of Essex found that people who engaged in personal discussions when a cell phone was nearby, even if neither was actually using it, reported lower relationship quality and less trust for their partner. They also felt that their partner was less empathic to their concerns (Kerner, 2013). Among the complaints: “he doesn’t look at me when I’m talking;“ “she’s always nagging...
Imagine for a moment how much healthier, happier, and safe our world would/could be if we all had a true and deep appreciation, respect, and acceptance of one another and our differences….
When people think of differences, the more obvious ones immediately come to mind, including race, ethnicity, religion, physical ability, or economic status. Then there are those differences not so obvious to the naked eye, such as sexual orientation, cultural beliefs, lessons learned early on in life, developmental differences, and communication styles. I once worked with a couple who initially presented with issues around communicating. They stated they were “fighting a lot about just about anything” and “we got along great at the beginning of our relationship but now everything seems to be a power and control struggle.” Over the course of three or four sessions, it became more clear to me (as the therapist) just how much of this couple’s initial attraction to ea...
For six years I assessed the mental health treatment needs of adults who were caught in the revolving door of a state criminal justice system in New England. To piece together the histories of these clients, I spoke with inmates' parents whenever possible. These interviews showed me how parents had lost control of their children: victims of parental indifference and abuse were primed to demand reparations from a community that was about to pay dearly for what these children felt robbed of growing up. One doesn’t behave in respectful ways as an adult when fed a steady diet of disrespect as a child.
The abdication and/or abuse of parental authority incubates the development of antisocial traits. The antidote to the behavioral viruses these traits spawn is a parenting philosophy built on a bedrock of benevolent authority. Benevolent authority is put into action as consistent and continuous dialogues with our children where we actively listen to and clarify what we hear, reflect back...
The challenge of relationship is always one of self-discovery, as well as learning the simple strategies that make partnership work. Fortunately, in many cases a variety of approaches can make a real difference in pleasure, connection, and success. The challenge is stepping into new realms, and experiencing previously unknown ways of being together. It's something kids do all the time, but we often shy away from. However, if you know what you want, and see it clearly, that step can be made, in a moment of choice. It really is up to you.
"There is a crack in everything. That's how the Light gets in." Leonard Cohen
How many of us are ashamed of our cracks?
...no, for the raunchier minds out there, Im not referring to Plumber's cracks...although some are admittedly less shameful than others...
Im talking about the cracks in our perceptions of the selves we aspire to be...
the imperfections that plague us...the shortcomings that we try to make up for...the past mistakes we just cant let go of...the limitations we rail against....
How many times have we thought to ourselves, "Its ok for so and so, but not for me. I know better...Im above that..."
Why is it so much easier to be understanding of another's faults rather than our own?
While at first glance, cutting others more of a "break" than we cut for ourselves may appear magnanimous, it may just be the sneaky whisperings of ego in disguise.
After all, why not you? Why not me? Why should you or I be crack-proof when the rest of the world is being held together by Krazy...
You may have heard the expression, "Keep it simple?" Oh so true. I just mentioned this to my children the other day: "The simpler the solution, the better." How about in your own life? Is it as simple as it can possibly be? What would it take for you to make it as simple as it could be? And are you taking those steps to do that? (PS Hypnosis, meditation, Reiki and EFT can help!!). The absolute smartest and happiest people I know have learned to live simply-great advice for you clutter bugs out there!! What exactly is the mindset of simple living? It mainly involves separating your needs from your wants. What parts of your life do you really need? What parts do you just want but could do without? And are you able to separate them? Remember when we unclutter our physical lives, we uncluttter our minds. And that is what I call living simply!
The possible dangers of establishing an online courtship have garnered massive media attention. “Catfishing”, as it’s been dubbed in the social media world, is the art of engaging an unsuspecting person in a romantic online courtship with an individual that is falsified by another person seeking attention. With online dating quickly rising as a way for people to meet, connect and start relationships, it is important to know the warning signs and protect yourself emotionally and physically from those who are utilizing a deceitful online persona.
Choose Your Sites Wisely
If you’re choosing the online dating route, make sure to align yourself with verified and reputable dating sites such as Match.com. Using a site not geared to dating, like Facebook to start a relationship (unless reconnecting with someone you’ve met before in person) can increase your chances of meeting someone who is using a fake profile and picture to meet others.
Use technology to...
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