Communication Category

Couples and Marriage Counseling

When a couple comes in for counseling together, it usually means that they would like to find out if they can repair the relationship. For one thing, that means learning better communication. How do you learn to communicate well with your significant other? Each person will discover in the therapy sessions what “triggers” each other’s anger response. That is, we explore how much of it is ‘projection’ (e.g., he/she reminds you of someone in the past (perhaps a parent) and how much of it is real. It is usually a combination of both.

If one or both of you feel the relationship cannot work anymore, then the therapy will bring out why, and the validity of this will either be confirmed or transformed into a better relationship. Thus, the decision will become evident.

Each of the partners will explore who his/her partner reminds him of, and each will assess one’s own reactions to his/her partner. To optimize this process, role playing will be used in the mod...

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My Loved One Won't Come to Therapy With Me

Often, a loved one refuses to consider going to therapy.  This can be painful if you are hoping that couple's work could be beneficial - almost like your partner wants to fail.  But this is seldom the case.

A loved one may not want to go to therapy with you for many reasons.  Here are three most common reasons I have heard:

1) They fear you want to bring them to treatment to "fix"what is wrong with them or to break up,

2) They worry that you are putting them into a situation where you already have a relationship with a therapist who will therefore be on your side, or

3) They think "Rocking the boat" with therapy will make things worse.  This is often the case if there are secrets or areas that cannot be spoken of in the relationship.

Here are three things you can do to support your partner to enter therapy with you:

1)  Ask your partner to support you - to be there for you by attending a session with you.  If they want, they then have the option to c...

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Legitimate Reason or Lame Excuse

Legitimate Reason or Lame Excuse

 

The distinguishing factor of what separates reasons from excuses is the allocation of accountability. An excuse is a faultfinding attempt to get yourself “off the hook” for something that you did or didn't do. A reason, on the other hand, is presented with integrity and describes the circumstances, action or situation without any attempt to escape blame or avoid consequences. Generally excuses are deceptive behavior and are a red flag on a spiked flagpole. Reasons include honesty and are built on trust and mutual respect, necessary components for good relations.

 

Using excuses habitually, being defensive and intertwining those ‘tiny little exaggerations’ into your explanations can undermine a friendship and weaken the value of your word; the essence of who you are and how you’re perceived. For many, excuses are defense mechanisms not born of malice. Others are aware of, on some level, th...

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Authenticity in my practice

Starting my own hypnotherapy practice has been anything but straightforward. As with anything new, I'm struggling to find my own voice and a clear path. It seemed so simple at first.


Authenticity and transparency are qualities that I have struggled to embody in my life and my relationships. I'm a child of the 60s and, as an impressionable teenager, I assimilated many of the core beliefs of the hippy generation: An anti-establishment, anti-capitalistic, almost anarchic philosophical and political stance; a strong belief in the goodness and power of people; respect of people's freedom and the reality of their experience. My spiritual life has been a patchwork of Buddhist, Hindu, Taoist beliefs and, at this point, I'm pragmatic with no religious affiliations. The Universe is impersonal and is ruled by certain laws. If I allow negativity to rule my life, I will attract more of the same. If I allow positivity to guide me, like attracts like.


As an entrepreneur, how can I reconcile being s...

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Relationships: Start Strong and Stay Strong

Relationships – Start Strong and Stay Strong Relationships can be resilient and enduring. It’s important to go in with your eyes wide open and to do ‘your part’ to nurture the relationship. Know yourself and what you want out of the relationship. When you get right with yourself, it opens up the door to opportunities that directly relate to developing a strong union. Contentment and happiness come from inside and are major contributions to ‘doing your part’ in your relationship. Enter a relationship with realistic expectations. Don’t expect your spouse to support his/her needs and all of yours too. You are ultimately responsible to support yourself emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. Work on thinking positively. Search for the meaning in your life. Continue to learn. These are opportunities to develop your self for a richer, more satisfying life. ***

While complete independence is neither possible nor desirable, by standing on your ow...

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Questions from an Aspiring Therapist (And Useful Information for a Better Awareness)

Questions from an Aspiring Therapist (And Useful Information for a Better Awareness)

Why did you become a Mental Health counselor? All my experiences, including other careers, friends and travels have convinced me that I should be in this field. Teachers and professors have proven to me that one person can change another person’s life. Community, normalization and empathy are possible when people have similar experiences. My pains will and have served as awareness, relief and understanding and most of all HOPE. Holding Onto Positive Expectations – Even the most tragic experience can turn out to be a blessing e.g. organ donating. Someone must die for someone else to live. In the case of a therapist, we offer relief to people through our education and experiences. I have come to understand that reasons exist and experiences are not necessarily random. If something sticks out to you (in any situation) pay attention to it. ***

2. Explain your experiences with taking the exam ...

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On Marriage

Have you ever wondered why people get married? It’s no longer a necessity in modern day, so why is that piece of paper still so important to some of us? Why do people get married in the first place? There are a number of different reasons that people marry. Only you can decide if it’s right for you. It is certainly beneficial and respectful to the commitment of marriage that two people enter the union with their eyes open. Marriages that are born on faulty ground can be doomed before the ceremony. The following reasons to get married are in themselves, not enough to ensure the best beginning in planting the seed that we all hope will grow into a lasting relationship. If that’s what you’re working toward, the following list may be warning signs that that readiness and rightness are not adequate and that you might not be quite prepared to have a relationship built on a solid foundation.

On Marriage - Have you ever wondered why people get married? It’s no lo...

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When Bitterness Invades

No one wants to be bitter. It creeps up on us. Bitterness is unforgiveness on steroids. The more we hold onto past hurts the more we become tanked-up on our pain; robbing us of happiness.

Bitterness happens when we hold on to the hurt in an attempt to remind ourselves of the unfairness we’ve experienced with an expectation that someone will save us and return what we’ve lost.

So what can we do to avoid bitterness in the first place or get out from under it if we’re already there?

Listen: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/modernliving/2014/07/01/when-bitterness-invades

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Teaching Kids: To Pray

Teaching children to pray is a vital part of familiarizing them to Jesus and strengthening their relationship with God. Christ gave us prayer so we could connect with him directly. Making children comfortable with prayer helps them to understand that God is always close and available.

Part Two in our series on Teaching Kids: To.... Part One featured Teaching Kids: To Know God.

To listen: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/modernliving/2014/05/08/teaching-kids-to-pray

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Six Key Factors To Assess in Yourself and Others

Assess Six Factors in Others and Yourself

Whether you are learning about a prospective mate, deciding on a new business partner, or resolving a current problem with a friend or family member, here are six factors to consider.

First and Foremost: a well-developed sense of responsibility

  • Words and actions match;
  • agreed-upon division of labor
  • No withdrawing from difficult situations or blaming another and venting and ranting

Second: Self-Awareness: how well you know yourself

  • and how well someone knows him or herself.
  • Knowing oneself requires you think clearly about your desires and values. 
  • Until you see someone in a variety of situations you won’t know if he can be respectful when angry or communicative when stressed
  • Most people do not lie; they may however employ self-deceptive thinking telling you what they believe to be true about themselves

Third: know what someone values

  • If you know what matters to someone you will be able to adjust your expecta...

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