Couples Workshop Category

What to do when your spouse/partner won't come to counseling with you?

Are you someone who values your relationship and wants a loving and commited soul mate and partnership? You don't want to get divorced and start over or leave your partner, but no matter how many times you bring it up, your partner refuses to go to counseling with you.  Have you heard from well meaning friends or even therapists, "if he or she won't go to therapy with you, then they just aren't committed to the relationship"?  You are not alone, many people have spouses who will not go to couples counseling with them.  So does that mean you are left with the undesirable choices to either tolerate an unpleasant and unsatisfying relationship or make the difficult decision to leave?

The good news is that you CAN make changes to your relationship by attending counseling without your partner.  In my expereince as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in work with couples, I have seen individuals come in who are highly motivated to improve their relati...

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THE Key to a Long Term Marriage / Relationship

Ever wonder if there might be one amazing and powerful tool that you could apply to your relationship that would greatly increase the odds of success?

As a therapist I have help numerous couples navigate the challenges of being together long term.  Some time ago I created a tool I call 'The Business of Marriage' that has proven, time and time again, to short circuit big problems, and substantially increase the love and joy in a relationship.

'The Business of Marriage' is an communication tool that ensures small issues are dealt with BEFORE they become big issues.  It ensures those things that really matter are communicated, shared and decided upon using an agreed upon premise that reflects your your values and goals for the relationship.

Sound interesting?  For a more complete description and learn more go here:

At GenesisSquared Counselling and Psychotherapy we provide you with tools and strategies that help you make the ch...

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When Bitterness Invades

No one wants to be bitter. It creeps up on us. Bitterness is unforgiveness on steroids. The more we hold onto past hurts the more we become tanked-up on our pain; robbing us of happiness.

Bitterness happens when we hold on to the hurt in an attempt to remind ourselves of the unfairness we’ve experienced with an expectation that someone will save us and return what we’ve lost.

So what can we do to avoid bitterness in the first place or get out from under it if we’re already there?


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What to Do About Your Little Boy Husband

By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC
I don’t mean to stereotype (too much), but do you think that husbands or boyfriends come in “types”? Although I not a fan of labeling people, I do believe that there are categories of issues that people struggle with. And by taking a look at and understanding a type, which in this case is just a description of a cluster of issues, we can gain perspective on our spouse and we can learn how to be involved in their lives in more helpful ways. My goal is not to start a bash-fest on certain husbands, but rather to equip wives (and girlfriends) to be able to engage with their partner in a way that moves him towards his best self. You see, it is true that you cannot change another person directly and that we cannot control people. But, it is like my friend says to me, “Yes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink it. But you can sweeten the water.” Let’s see if we can understand what would be ways to influe...

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Helping couples cope with psychological issues surrounding abortion

Written by Dr Dorothy Ojarikri, Chartered Clinical Psychologist and Director of UK Private Psychology.

Making the hugely difficult decision to terminate a pregnancy is a choice that can be life- changing and impact upon people’s perception of self, relationships and society at large for decades to come and perhaps forever. The term ‘choice’ when it comes to the difficult issue of abortion indeed may seem insensitive or inappropriate to individuals and couples who have lived through abortion and feel that the personal circumstances surrounding their pregnancy precluded them from having the unborn child.

My therapeutic work with couples both married and unmarried who have lived through the emotional difficulties that are sometimes related to abortion has highlighted the psychological and relationship dilemmas that couples face. The mandatory counselling session that females in the United Kingdom are required to attend prior to an abortion are usually offered only to t...

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Sometimes Not Happy But Loving

Lorna Hayim-Baker
Licensed Clinical Social Worker

When two people love each other is it true that they will always make each other happy? I do not think "happy" is a fitting adjective to use when discussing marital goals or one that describes a committed and loving relationship between two people that have said "I love you" to one another because happiness is a an incomplete and trivial measuring rod of life. Most mature people, whether married or not, don't expect life only to be joyful. Happiness as the primary goal of a marriage/loving relationship can become its undoing, for it easily leads to self seeking, self centeredness and self indulgence.. That is why couples, young and old, seeking release from a marriage/relationship in trouble often cry out and say "I have a right to be happy".

I see marriage or any two partners who are in a committed monogamous relationship as the creation of two imperfect people who are willing to make compromises, work out adjustments and control emotio...

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Getting to Know You?!

Getting to Know You?!

By David I. Brandt, LCSW

Posted 3/29/14

"A man must eat a peck of salt with his friend, before he knows him.” Miguel De Cervantes

And that is A LOT of salt! It takes time to really know if someone will become a friend or not (or a lover or not). Too often we impulsively jump into a relationship, whether out of desperation, fear of being alone, insecurity, and/or over-exuberance - only to find that we actually had very little on which to base the relationship. We were really living out some projection, vision or fantasy in our heads. It takes time to allow ourselves to be more vulnerable, which is what we need to do in order to grow and evolve greater intimacy. One cannot rush this process!!!

Additionally, getting to really know someone takes work at times and is definitely NOT all fun and games. Part of eating a lot of “salt” together is, indeed, taking the time needed to learn about our interactional dynamics and styles and then learnin...

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This Holiday Give Yourself and Your Partner the Gift of your Presence

So much of the holidays can be taken up with the busy stuff of gift buying, travel plans, and food and festivity preparations that we’re often left exhausted and depleted. It’s easy to forget what the holidays are fundamentally about: to connect and be with family, friends and loved ones. This holiday, offer the gift of your presence to both yourself and your loved ones.

What do I mean by “the gift of your presence”?
Simply put, being present is about being a human being as opposed to a human doing. It’s about being with yourself or your partner instead of busily doing something with your mind elsewhere. You can also practice being really present while doing something fun with your partner. For instance, you could be on a bike ride with your love, enjoying and participating in the experience, giving both your partner and yourself the gift of your full presence. On the other hand, you could be on that bike ride with your mind a million miles away, thinking ...

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Weddings: Marrying your Soulmate

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life." - Richard Bach

I find it incredibly exciting and rewarding to offer Premarital Counselling as well as Wedding Ceremonies to my clients. I truly believe that bringing together Soulmates is a sacred responsibility, and I take my work very seriously. In my private life, I have been married for 15 years to my very own Soulmate, and we have been blessed with a wonderful life. I would consider it an honour to share my years of experience with you in preparation for your blessed event. I believe that every couple who desires to marry h...

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Couples Counseling Myths Debunked and Why I'm a Geek

You know, I’ll bet that if you gathered all my couples counseling clients in a room and made them contestants in some Trivial Pursuit of marriage data contest, they would blow the other team away. They might do it groaning about how they never want to hear the words “Gottman” or “Research Says” again, but they would kick serious behind. And that is because I’m a big ol’ geek. If you’re sitting down with me to work on your relationship, you’re going to learn more than a little bit about how scientists figure out what makes joyful couples tick.

Don’t get me wrong here–couples are emotional units that have their own rules of governance–many of which are spiritual, emotional and pretty abstract. However, as couples therapists, we are invested in doing more of stuff that is helpful and less of stuff that isn’t. So, people like scientist John Gottman spend an awful lot of time trying to figure out what kinds of th...

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