Domestic Abuse Or Violence Category

Manage Your Anger: Make Your Responses a Reflection of Your Character

A great way to manage anger is to decide not to get angry.  Sure it sounds easy, but easier said than done, right?  Well, maybe we need to look at it from a different angle.  Instead of chosing not to get angry, a choice of character may be more effective.  Since our thoughts directly influence our emotions, and our emotions directly influence our behavior, it stands to reason that we could control our behavior with our thoughts.  If only we could take the emotions out of the equation.  Yes, our emotions are important.  They may be valid and even acurate.  They may be so legitimate that we just have to defend them.  That is when we say something or do something that we will later regret.  What if we determined that instead of reacting to how we felt, we would choose to react to something different.  I mean that regardless of how we felt, legitimate or not, we would act in a way that we w...

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the Need for Disclosure

Cognitive behavior therapy. Not an old adage, not archaic, nor narrow. In
order to understand an individual and their choices and the behaviors that
follow, you must recognize their behaviors or choices involve all aspects
of the brain, the individual’s interaction with their environment, and
the various components of their life from birth to the current age of the
person. Specifically, drug and sex offenders, develop their behaviors based on numerous
factors. It all begins from their first experiences in life. As they grow
and interact with their environment (people, places, situations, parents,
schools, church etc) their behaviors or choices are made based upon how
they perceive their behaviors, other people’s behaviors and the results
of their choices. Many things interact during choices such as brain
chemistry, the pleasure, displeasure, and how each person perceives good or
bad feelings, choices, etc.

A therapeutic alliance is formed with the client first and foremost before
any a...

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Hi Everyone:

How are you?

For those who have issues and concerns but cannot travel to an office, Online Therapy, e-Counseling, or e-Coaching may be the solution.

Online Therapy, e-Counseling, and e-Coaching may include any of the following formats and/or technologies:

* E-Mail

* Telephone

* Online Chat

* Webcam

* Combination

If you are interested in Online Therapy, e-Counseling, or e-Coaching, please visit:

Have a great weekend!


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When to get Counseling

There is still a stigma attached to getting counseling; so many couples put it off way too long. Either they don’t want to acknowledge there’s a problem or they think it will eventually go away on its own. Women have a tendency to tolerate a bad marriage, then “fall out of love” with their partner. By the time the couple decides to face the important issues, it’s too late. The woman has moved on emotionally, stating that she’s been telling her husband her concerns for years, but he wasn’t hearing her. Though I am stereotyping here, this is a common scenario. Of course, the roles can be reversed.

This leads to the question, “When should you get marriage counseling?” What is a normal disagreement? When are your issues pressing enough to seek out help from a therapist? Here are some guidelines.

  1. When negative exchange outweighs positive exchange and communication has become increasingly hostile. This could also include avoidance. Ar...

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Have You experienced Date Violence?

Have you experienced Dating Violence? Has your Teen experienced Dating Violence? Teens and parents are often unaware that teens do experience dating violence. It's not talked about and difficult to bring up.

Unfortuantley about 1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 7 men have experienced rape, physical violence, and or stalking by an intimate partner. Even even sadder to imagine that some youth have experienced dating violence as young as 11 years of age.

Teens who are psychologically or physically assaulted can experience long term mental health and physically risks. Teens who experience a partner who insulted or disrespected the them in front of others, cursed at them, threatened them with violence, shoved them, or threw objects at them are more likely to exhibit antisocial behaviours, have suicidal ideation, binge drink, be depressed, think about suicide, smoke or smoke marijuana at the 5-year follow-up mark.

Both female and male participants who experienced some form of dating violence f...

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What goes on in the House stays in the house.

As a therapist, I have come to provide counseling services to men, women and children for at least 12 years. In that time, I have served the inner city population, military population, incarcerated population, affluent and military populations. You name it, I have worked with each social class, culture race, age etc. I do not claim to know everything there is to know about Domestic Violence and what it does to the human psyche. What I do know is that Violence is the second word that often gets forgotten in the description of Domestic Violence. What some people dont understand is that the pain of Violence in the home is often the most destructive cancer that plagues many people. Whether people observe it as a child or are abused themselves as a child or adult, the result is the same. The Violence warrants the act of secrecy and shame. If you talk about it, you may be threatened by death or the fear that you are responsible for the destruction of your family.

What goes on in the ho...

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True needs are permanent throughout the life cycle.

True needs are permanent throughout the life cycle. If a child’s needs are never met, what are the implications for the adult phases of life?

It is without question that identity crisis, emotionally deprived individuals and those with personality disorders will exhibit many difficult obstacles that will be challenging in the progression from the varied life stages. This is the internal outcome of a confused and vulnerable person scarred by invisible wounds covered by his or her work. Even isolation is a reaction of the fear of being rejected. If challenged by anyone other than a skilled practitioner, violence is more than likely to be the reaction of limited choices. Even worst is the self-medicating remedy to hide the external torment, and denial or self-assurance leading to a false sense of confidence and control, now relying on an imaginary power that have not experience any real sense of maturation.

Socially unacceptable behavior as a normalcy of ones means of coping is the...

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Domestic Violence Awareness

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. This awareness works in combination with breast cancer awareness (also this month), as both are significant issues affecting women. Check out the events in your community and see what you can learn about intimate partner abuse, historically referred to Domestic Violence. Avon, Mary Kay Cosmetics are two companies working actively to eradicate partner abuse. Purchases with either or both companies this month are offering options for a portion of proceeds to go toward prevention and healing of women harmed by partner abuse. Do something positive for yourself and your community today!

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Being a Victim is a Choice

Life is full of circumstances where one person takes advantage of other, hurts another, or falls prey to random accidents. That doesn’t make one a victim. The dictionary defines “victim” as “a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency.” The key word in that definition is suffers. Being subject to unwanted actions is just part of living. Suffering is optional.

We all experience negative things that we wish never happened. That’s just part of life. But some of us pick ourselves up, learn from the moment and see it as a moment rather than an event that defines us as weak, unworthy, or somehow broken. Since we have a choice on how we choose to define our life events, why choose to see them as defeating? Why not focus on the survival rather than the tragedy?

While you may not have had any control over the past, you do have control over the present. Today, you are not suffering from whatever happened in the past. Today is a new ...

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Attachment Issues In Couples therapy

I have always enjoyed therapy with couples. It is stimulating, interactive work and can create dramatic change quickly. By strengthening a couples' communication pattern, you not only help them to improve their relationship, but help them to learn more about themselves and what drives their behavior. And as with individual therapy, if the clients are motivated to change, they will. But after years of doing the work, I still marvel at the difficulty of creating lasting change when dealing with a co-dependent relationship based on negative attachment issues.

Because I work a lot with Abuse and Trauma Survivors, many couples who come to see me have that in one or both of their backgrounds. Childhood abuse can create long-term trauma and attachment issues, even personality disorders. And people are oftentimes attracted to others whose ability to attach and interactional style are complementary.

For example, it is quite common for adults from alcoholic families to become attracted to othe...

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