Emotions Category
Using Tools for Building Strength
When I work with people in therapy I introduce skills which they can use at home, in order to build confidence, strength and resiliency.
I never know for sure which tools will click with a person, so I am patient and persistent in offering as many as possible, so that maybe a practice will develop for the person at home. If one thing doesnt work, I offer another.
When people start to practice breathing, meditation, yoga nidra or any form of inner reflection process, they invariably get better faster. Just taking the few minutes to turn inward with a process which is positive, is so refreshing. People need to feel that they can manage themselves and their own emotions and the skill building is very empowering in this process.
I am very encouraging and believe in your capacity for change. No one wants to be stuck, its just a matter of finding how to get unstuck. I am an expert at this and am very proactive in ensuring that you can find ways to get better.
What Do People Mean By "Resilience" in Therapy?
(From the Downtown Therapy blog. Feel free to visit for new content.)
It’s becoming a bit of a pop star in the academic and scientific world, the word “resilience”. But what does it mean when it’s used (say, like “empathy”) within the context of psychotherapy?
Let me give you a scenario…
You suffer from a general (though intermittent) anxiety revolving around things in your environment that are not within your control (think: a hornet buzzing around you on a patio, an untended tea kettle whistling in your neighbour’s kitchen). You find a therapist you feel comfortable with and for the next while you begin to explore what happens to you under these circumstances. You follow emotional threads which lead to your past. You are eventually able to delve into unresolved disturbances in your history, and perhaps how those events reverberated up to the present.
Throughout this process, the theme of “control” happens to re...
Win Win Situation
Have you ever been involved in arguments where you must win for everything to be okay? What if you looked at this concept differently? What if you saw these situations as win-win and realized that if you lost the argument that, although you may need to adapt a bit, everything will still be okay. What a great way to feel. In this way no one really loses. Instead you just learn to change a bit and most importantly, you see the situation as win-win for everyone.
http://www.abetterlife4u.us
Your Most Important Relationship Is With Yourself
If you aren't happy, but know what makes you happy, you’re already halfway there. Your challenge is to figure out why you aren't doing the things that make you happy and start doing them. This could include an activity, spending time with others or having “me time.” If you can't figure out what makes you happy, you face a difficult, but not insurmountable, challenge.
Why Am I Unhappy?
Even when people don't know what makes them happy, they tend to know what is making them unhappy. There are usually one or two major life stressors to blame, but there are usually many sub-stressors that they might not even be aware of. It might be helpful to list all your stressors and spend the day being mindful of them. Which items on the list can you do something about? Focus on those.
Do I Deserve to Be Happy?
Why would anyone not want to be happy? They may be afraid of change, the unknown, or the possibility of failure. Sometimes the biggest obstacle is an underlying belief that on...
Boredom
Recently I wrote about shopping being a panacea for boredom. This I thought called for more musings on boredom.
Is boredom a problem? Not necessarily.
If you are bored just because you have spare time on your hands and don’t know what to do, or are doing the same task over and over again without any variation and have no interest in it, this may signal the need for a change. This is one kind of boredom and recognising it may be helpful because this situation may just offer the chance to plan something new, to contemplate a challenge of some kind.
If we think of boredom not as a negative state but as a space, a refuge where we can find some kind of a respite from the often frenetic pace of our lives, then it may also provide an important opportunity for some mindful, peaceful, attention to our environment. I am not referring to the random thoughts which come unbidden from the brain all the time but mental concentration to notice what is going on around us: scenes of people inte...
Counselling in the Community
When people ask me:” at what point shall I seek counseling?” I tell them: “if you feel like you are not as happy as you could be.” It really is that simple. All of us go through times in our lives when we encounter periods of stress causing us feelings of great discomfort. We can loose our support system in transitions such as relocation, parenthood, and general change in circumstances, accentuating feelings of loneliness and anxiety.
Another reason for seeking counseling is recognizing patterns of behaviors that are not working, such as relationships ending badly in the same sort of way. People often wait too long before they seek help. This may lead to depression and/or physical symptoms, which in turn may result in difficulties in our personal and professional relationships.
I had one client who, due to language problems, job promotion and change of environment for him and his nuclear family, suffered an acute anxiety attack on a business trip. Unable to fun...
Depression
Deprssion is different than feeling down from time to time. You may be going through a tough time in your life and feel sad. But what is the difference between depression and true depression disorder?
-Do you find it hard to do the simple tasks that you once found easy to do? (getting out of bed, going to work, interacting with others?
-Do you have feelings of impending doom
-Lack of energy and interruption in sleep or you find yourself sleeping much more than normal?
-Do you have feelings of helplessness and hoplessness and feel that there is nothing to look forward to and life is like living in a black hole?
-Has your eating pattern changed? Are you finding yourself eating too much or not at all?
-You may have physical symptoms of feeling achy and your body feeling sluggish and heavy
These are just a few signs of depression and if you feel that your suffering from them and they are not going away, it may be time to seek help from a professional. Asking for help does not mean y...
Access Consciousness The Bars Class in San Francisco May 18th
Have you wanted to let go of what doesn't serve you? Do you have clients that have expressed this? Access Consciousness is a set of tools and techniques to help you clear unwanted experiences in your life. The Bars is the first class in Access and teaches about 32 points on the head that when lightly touched release accumulated energies no longer serving the individual. This opens individuals up to live in the awareness and consciousness of infinite possibilities vs. in the fixed energy and consciousness of that which they know. Access Bars has assisted thousands of people to change many aspects of their body and their life including sleep, health and weight, money, sex and relationships, anxiety, stress and so much more. Upcoming Classes: Saturday, May 18th in San Francisco, 11 am to 7 pm Register here: http://www.drlisacooney.accessconsciousness.com
Feeling Lonely?
Even when we think we want to be alone, deep inside we long to be connected. Some people find this connection through relationships with other human beings or through connection with a higher power.
Existentialism teaches that we are alone on this Earth and that this loneliness is unavoidable. But this perspective – that we were put here on this planet to live and die alone – can sometimes conflict with our inner thoughts and feelings. Let’s think about relationships. People strive to be in relationships, sometimes even doing the most outrageous things to be or stay in a relationship. Even people who claim to reject the idea of a relationship have, at some point, reached out to another human being for help, love, a connection.
As a therapist, I have noticed that even my most independent clients often experience extreme frustration because they want a connection to another human being. And not just any connection, but a fulfilling love connection. Why else woul...
Why Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds
Why Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds, from Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro
If we cut ourselves, unless there is an obstacle, we tend to heal. If we remove the block, the body goes back to healing. That’s why we’re willing to let ourselves be cut open during surgery. We expect incisions to heal.
The brain is a part of the body. In addition to the millions of memory networks just described, we all have hardwired into our brains a mechanism – an information processing system – for healing. It is geared to take any sort of emotional turmoil to a level of mental health or what is called a level of adaptive resolution. This means a resolution that includes the useful information that allows us to be more fit for survival in our lives. The information processing system is meant to make connections to what is useful, and let go of the rest.
Here’s how it works: Imagine that you’ve had an argument with a coworker. You can feel upset, angry or ...
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