Grief And Loss Counseling Category
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What to Do About Your Little Boy Husband
By Matt W. Sandford, LMHCI don’t mean to stereotype (too much), but do you think that husbands or boyfriends come in &l...
Feeling Behind in Life: The Myth of the Self Made Man(Person)
By Matt W. Sandford, LMHCI often talk with people who are struggling because they feel that they are behind in life in some w...
Sexual Trauma and Men - A Path to Thriving
Talking about sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape is difficult for anyone. For men, it has it’s own unique challenge...
3 Ways to Tackle Anxiety
Matt W. Sandford, LMHC Everyone worries, but not everyone worries the same way. Everyone worries but not everyone is affecte...
Depression and Hypnotherapy
An ever increasing number of people suffer from depression in 2014. Generally, doctors believe that depression is mostly biol...
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Grief is an overwhelmingly painful experience when you've lost someone you love through separation or death. The bond of love and attachment to your loved one is not easily broken and usually remains after the loss of your loved one - at least for a while.
My practice in Grief Coaching & Grief Counseling online provides many resources for healing grief whether it be simple grief that is healed faster or complicated grief that generally lingers longer. In both cases the pain of the loss is very real, hard to cope with it and debilitating for a while. With the right kind of assistance to move through it, you will heal. My sessions are available online via secure, encrypted and confidential video-conferencing or locally at my offices in Santa Fe, NM or Durango, CO. Appointments can be made online at www.BrendaDiller.com
Typically, I use an integrative, holistic approach to help my clients in their healing process that often involves the use of guided imagery, spirituality, neuro-sci...
Traumas come in many forms. Some types of traumatic events that perpetually victimize a person's mind include rape, incest, childhood abuse, witnessing the death of friends or family, or fearing for life and limb in dangerous situations like members of our armed forces. Additionally, accidents of various types (car, sports injuries), even being dropped suddenly by an ex (relationship break-up), can lead a person to code the event in their mind and body with self-destructive effects and consequences. Traumas have varying degrees of intensity, time frames, and complexity. Even though the type of traumatic event differs from person to person, does not make what happened any less important or life-impacting. Unresolved traumas either immobilize a person or have a way of leaking into other areas of life.
A trauma is the memory of an unpleasant, devastating event(s) associated with strong debi...
Counsellors are professionals who provide a service to support people to develop better understanding of themselves and others, deal with life difficulties and make the changes they want in their lives.
Counsellors and highly skilled in a wide variety of therapy interventions across a spectrum of life difficulties.
Counsellors work in private practice and in public and private organisations
Counsellors work with current life transitions and crisis and longer term difficulties.
A counsellor enhances a person's capacity to cope with life challenges such as:
- Relationships and relationship endings
- Grief and loss ( including pets, menopause, divorce)
- Domsetic Violence
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
- Childhood Trauma and Abuse
Seeing a counsellor reduces stress and helps people copy with distress and crisis. Counselling also assists in developing inner resourses and setting of life goals.
Counsellors work face to face, online ...
My own experience with loss, is the key to my ability to "Bear Witness". I have been considered an excellent therapist while working with women and their families for the last 15+ years. I have been tasked with speaking to hospice conventions and training mental health first responders. I thought myself to be "right up there" with the best professionals concerning these topics. I always knew, my faith was a strong component to my ability to reach a woman in pain. I did not know until, I, myself, endured a completely, unexpected and unimaginable loss God had a deeper plan for me. It was after integrating this great loss, God showed me His plan. I am not a "miracle worker". Your pain will not be transformed after a set period of time. A person's loss and her ability to mourn, "grieving outloud", is a grossly painful and very natural part of this life. I call my practice, Somewhere In Between, because once we suffer the loss, we are in that place. We yearn for the past, but can neve...
If there is anything that this winter has taught us, it is patience. It seems it has either been really cold or really snowy all winter long. For some of us, this is fine. I am not one of those people! And I do not love the extreme heat either. However, a bit of warmth and clear ground never hurt anyone, right? The type of winter we've had has really tried the patience of many people. But what really is the definition of 'patience?' According to Wikipedia, this is it: 'the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.' But how do we do this? The best answer that I know is diversion! Yes, diversion! The computer is a great example. You can have multiple windows open, work on each one just a bit at a time and get a lot done (or you can open one window and get "angry or upset." while waiting for the website to process). Other examples might be doing indoor projects while waiting for warmer weather. Reading a good book while waiting for a bus o...
Originally puplished August 30, 2012 on Soul-Spirit Integration's website
Anodea Judith names grief as the “demon of the heart chakra1”. She states that the frequent disappointment of our striving for love and connection — with others and the world at large —results in loss of hope, and perpetual, suppressed grief. This grief turns in on itself, hardens the heart to protect it from more pain and leaves us bitter, hopeless, and even more isolated.
In the western world we live in a society that is uncomfortable witnessing the pain of loss. We medicate our feelings of sadness and pain with pills, alcohol, or extreme activity. We have learned that to be well means to be happy at all cost and grief is not a happy feeling — thus it must be ‘bad’. An article in The Lancet2 discusses the increasing trend to medicalize grief as depression. Instead of allowing an individual to go through his or her grieving process in his or her own way, society incre...
I so often write about dealing with depression, loneliness, hopelessness, and other difficult, dark times. I do this because we all go through challenging periods, but many of us rarely talk with our friends and loved ones about how we cope and find our way. Usually, I’ll write about the suggestions I give to clients, the ways my clients cope, or advice from other clinicians. This time, though, I’m doing something different, with the hope that this will be helpful as well.
I wrote the following status update on my personal Facebook profile: I want to write a blog post on how people get themselves through times where they are lonely, depressed, and or hopeless…but I want to write about what real people do, not my suggestions. So, I’d love to hear what you do for yourself in such times. You can message me for anonymity’s sake, or feel free to post here as well. I won’t mention your name in the blog post though.
What I received were some very heartfe...
In a recent Washington Post column a woman having trouble with conception finds herself jealous of a friend’s pregnancy announcement. The advice given in the column sounds simple, but is there a tried and true way to stay positive in the face of infertility? The simple answer is “no”. However, there are many ways to stay sane in this life crisis. By acknowledging and processing the emotions and developing coping skills while also getting adequate help you can keep the rest of your life from getting swallowed by the abyss of infertility.
First of all, it is possible to have intense sadness for yourself while being truly happy for a pregnant friend. These two emotions can exist together but be extremely confusing. After congratulations are given, in a non-public arena be honest with your friend about your torn feelings. If you just start avoiding or isolating yourself with no explanation, your friendship is sure to suffer. Simple and private is best, such as “Whi...
Imagine yourself walking along in the woods of life when you step on what looks like fallen leaves and find yourself falling into a deep hole in the ground. You are unable to get out of the deep, dark, damp, and unbelievably sad pit in the ground. This trap isolates you from those you care about; the hobbies and work you love; and good nutrition and ability to exercise. Due to this trap, you are unable to think positive thoughts and gloom continually runs through your head because all hope is gone. There is no way out and it is easy to slip into the darkness within this pit of despair.
Not everyone experiences the trap of depression like in the metaphor above, but the commonality lies in the fact that depression has traps that can worsen the symptoms of depression. The traps preserve the awful cycle of pain and hopelessness. If you are currently experiencing depression, all of these behaviors can deepen your misery.
AVOIDANCE OF SOCIAL SITUATIONS: When feeling depressed it is easier ...
Signs of Depression in Adults
PLEASE NOTE: this list is NOT intended to diagnose or treat you. See a licensed mental health provider or medical professional for proper diagnosis and treatment.
Most people get “the blues” sometimes that last a day or two. However, Major Depressive Disorder is a SERIOUS and often FATAL illness that occurs in approximately 6.7 percent of US adults. Medications can be helpful, but come with side effects that many people cannot tolerate. Medications will NOT cure the mistaken belief system causing the depression.
Without talk therapy to both uncover the root cause of the depression and learn ways to manage it, depression can persist despite medication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, can help you uncover the beliefs you carry about life without even knowing it. These beliefs often contribute to depression below your level of awareness. Once uncovered, I can help you face and refute the irrational thoughts and replace them with healthy, ...
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