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What to Do About Your Little Boy Husband
By Matt W. Sandford, LMHCI don’t mean to stereotype (too much), but do you think that husbands or boyfriends come in &l...
Feeling Behind in Life: The Myth of the Self Made Man(Person)
By Matt W. Sandford, LMHCI often talk with people who are struggling because they feel that they are behind in life in some w...
Sexual Trauma and Men - A Path to Thriving
Talking about sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape is difficult for anyone. For men, it has it’s own unique challenge...
3 Ways to Tackle Anxiety
Matt W. Sandford, LMHC Everyone worries, but not everyone worries the same way. Everyone worries but not everyone is affecte...
Depression and Hypnotherapy
An ever increasing number of people suffer from depression in 2014. Generally, doctors believe that depression is mostly biol...
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By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC
I don’t mean to stereotype (too much), but do you think that husbands or boyfriends come in “types”? Although I not a fan of labeling people, I do believe that there are categories of issues that people struggle with. And by taking a look at and understanding a type, which in this case is just a description of a cluster of issues, we can gain perspective on our spouse and we can learn how to be involved in their lives in more helpful ways. My goal is not to start a bash-fest on certain husbands, but rather to equip wives (and girlfriends) to be able to engage with their partner in a way that moves him towards his best self. You see, it is true that you cannot change another person directly and that we cannot control people. But, it is like my friend says to me, “Yes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink it. But you can sweeten the water.” Let’s see if we can understand what would be ways to influe...
Cell Phones and Relationships
Time Together & Apart
Both the quantity and quality of time we spend together influence the well being of our friendships, family interactions and intimate relationships. Spending time apart, participating in other activities is also of great value and influences a relationship, especially a romantic one. A healthy relationship needs balance: time to interact with family, friends, colleagues, self and definitely quality time with your significant other. Balance in the relationship is a necessary rung toward success.
Researchers from the University of Essex found that people who engaged in personal discussions when a cell phone was nearby, even if neither was actually using it, reported lower relationship quality and less trust for their partner. They also felt that their partner was less empathic to their concerns (Kerner, 2013). Among the complaints: “he doesn’t look at me when I’m talking;“ “she’s always nagging...
When I talk to people about meditation or how to be “mindful,” I often hear “I can’t do it”, “its too difficult” or “I can’t focus long enough to do it right.” It is called a “practice” for a reason! You can’t expect to try it once and feel like it won’t work for you. It is something that involves lifelong practice and just like anything new, it gets easier the more you do it. The key is not to judge yourself when thoughts begin to filter in your mind. Recognize them and let them go. Gradually you will find that fewer and fewer thoughts enter your mind during meditation. The great part of meditation is there is a number of ways to engage with it. This increases your chances of finding a way that works for you. Guided visualization is the easiest way for beginners to start because you can put on your headphones, close your eyes and follow the imaginary journey given to you.
Another way is to...
Getting to Know You?!™
By David I. Brandt, LCSW
"A man must eat a peck of salt with his friend, before he knows him.” Miguel De Cervantes
And that is A LOT of salt! It takes time to really know if someone will become a friend or not (or a lover or not). Too often we impulsively jump into a relationship, whether out of desperation, fear of being alone, insecurity, and/or over-exuberance - only to find that we actually had very little on which to base the relationship. We were really living out some projection, vision or fantasy in our heads. It takes time to allow ourselves to be more vulnerable, which is what we need to do in order to grow and evolve greater intimacy. One cannot rush this process!!!
Additionally, getting to really know someone takes work at times and is definitely NOT all fun and games. Part of eating a lot of “salt” together is, indeed, taking the time needed to learn about our interactional dynamics and styles and then learnin...
Join Rev. Tracy L. Cox, B. Msc., IMM for a guided meditation designed to help you achieve your healthy weight goals. A discussion about how meditation can help us in all areas of life will be followed by a complete guided meditation for health, prosperity and happiness, including affirmations for healthy weight loss. Rev. Tracy is a Ordained Minister and Pastoral Care provider who services clients worldwide from her Aurora Ontario Chapel. Please see her website at www.divineheartcentre.ca for more information. Connect to Source!
People love being right. Anytime we get the chance to be right we seem to take it. Being right, and its corollary, making someone else wrong, is like an addiction. It's as bad as smoking, over-eating, gambling, or any fill-in-the-blank vice; you know it's not good for you, but you like doing it so much that in the moment, you don't care and you can't seem to help yourself.
I say it's 'like' an addiction, because it's not actually an addiction. While we are compelled to be right by survival instinct, we do have a choice. It seems as though we can't help it, but we can. We just don't want to. Why not? Because from where we are looking, the payoff seems great! But there are costs involved. Do you even know what the payoffs and the costs are?
Most of us have never actually thought that through. Could you even put the payoffs and costs into words?
Let's take a look and see what we see...
You get to be right! What a great rush that is. You feel smart, you feel accomplished, mayb...
Grandparenting and second-hand shopping have a lot in common.
Both are absolutely wonderful.
They're not first of all mine. Their way of being has been tested. I don't have to break them in. And there's a lot less thought about how things look, what will people think of me, and does it match?
Aside from the pleasant frugality of shopping second-hand, I know the product has been tried. If it was going to shrink, it is shrunk. If it was fragile, it wouldn't be there. If it scuffs easily, I can see the scuffs. This has belonged to someone else. And now I have an opportunity to take it home if I wish.
Nothing to do with the trend of the day. What works works. Sometimes crazy pizzaz, and usually just plain comfortable and easy-wear. Sometimes bright and shiny, usually fairly non-descript.
Parenting is dealing with someone brand new! Our whole identity seems at stake. People are watching, aren't they? How will our children behave? What will people think when my child tantrums at the gro...
Join Rev. Tracy L. Cox, B. Msc. for a healing meditation designed to help and uplift people with chronic illness, or anyone that needs a dose of Positivity. Rev. Tracy is a Pastoral and Spiritual Care Provider who is available in her Aurora Ontario Chapel, and worldwide by phone for one on one consultations designed to uplift and inspire. Sliding scale for those in need. More information on her website at http://www.divineheartcentre.ca , and the meditation is available below. Connect to Source!
Join Rev. Tracy L. Cox, B. Msc., IMM, CIMM for a guided healing meditation, designed to reset your energy to Positivity. The mechanics of meditation will be discussed, as well as new research that proves that meditation and prayer actually work to change and improve the world around us. Rev. Tracy is available for one on one consultations, in her Aurora Chapel, or worldwide by phone. For more info please go to http://www.divineheartcentre.ca
Balance is certainly tough to find in our hectic modern lifestyle. Balance in our lives is divided into 3 areas: Mental Balance, Physical balance and Spiritual Balance. Mental Balance is the idea of challenging your mind. Many people get this at work. For those of us who don’t there’s sudoku, crossword puzzles, reading and games-fun things like board games, cards, puzzles and challenges. The best part is-because its fun, we are getting smarter just by doing it. Physical Balance is challenging yourself physically everyday with activity. You don’t have to run a marathon-just get moving-walk, jog, carry groceries a few extra feet. Spiritual balance is basically your guiding force. This could be God or gods, the universe or a totem pole (my personal favorite). You need to pay attention to them (or it). to be spiritually balanced
remember that you need to work your way up slowly to achieve your goals. When I started doing pushups at age 14, I could do 5. Now I can do 500. R...
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