Intimacy Disorder Category

I love my husband, but why don't I want to have sex?

Q&A: I am 35 years old, married, and have 4 wonderful children. I love my husband very much and we have a very beautiful relationship. I love my life and work outside the home. The problem is that by the end of the day, I'm completely exhausted from work, kids, cleaning, cooking, making lunches, and all the rest of it that I don't have any desire to have sex with my husband. I'm just too tired. Once we are intimate, I enjoy myself. I'm happy and I have a great relationship with my husband, so why the problem with the desire? What should I do?

Response: Thanks so much for this question. Wow you have a lot on your plate! And you, indeed must be very busy with several children to take care of. There is no doubt that you rightfully should feel tired by the day's end. As for being a working mother with children and feeling too tired to have desire, I hear this A LOT!

I believe that everything in life is about choices and priorities. It might be that you're prioritizing other things ov...

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Have You experienced Date Violence?

Have you experienced Dating Violence? Has your Teen experienced Dating Violence? Teens and parents are often unaware that teens do experience dating violence. It's not talked about and difficult to bring up.

Unfortuantley about 1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 7 men have experienced rape, physical violence, and or stalking by an intimate partner. Even even sadder to imagine that some youth have experienced dating violence as young as 11 years of age.

Teens who are psychologically or physically assaulted can experience long term mental health and physically risks. Teens who experience a partner who insulted or disrespected the them in front of others, cursed at them, threatened them with violence, shoved them, or threw objects at them are more likely to exhibit antisocial behaviours, have suicidal ideation, binge drink, be depressed, think about suicide, smoke or smoke marijuana at the 5-year follow-up mark.

Both female and male participants who experienced some form of dating violence f...

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Can You Really Be Addicted to Love?

Can You Really Be Addicted to Love?

Experts claim that desperate reactions to a break-up—like the urge to throw the nearest bunny into a saucepan—could be a clue that you're suffering from yet another addiction.

I had never heard the phrase “Addicted to Love” uttered outside a Robert Palmer video or bad poetry until a few years ago, when a particularly poisonous breakup drove me temporarily insane. After endless hours of listening to me cry and obsess over what went wrong during my seven-month relationship, a few friends gently suggested that I seek professional help.

While Love Addiction didn't make the cut in the latest D.S.M.-V, the bible of the psychology world, there's no denying that it's the season's hottest new affliction. Many critics blasted Dr. Drew when he put Tiger Woods’ former mistress Rachel Uchitel on Celebrity Rehab alongside a bevy of meth and crack addicts, but Uchitel insisted that her “disease” was related to a “h...

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Present for You

I am probably just as guilty as the next person about not being present. I play on my iphone, check my e-mail and get distracted just like everyone else. Every once in a while I do remind myself to to enjoy the gift of the ''present.'. I stop what I'm doing and enjoy the moment. Often it's when I'm with one of my daughters or my wife. But just that little tid bit of a 'present' to myself reminds me of all that I have and helps to keep me focused. It is so important to remember that the past is gone and the future has not arrived. There is nothing we can do about anything but the here and now, the present.

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50 Shades of Orgasm

50 Shades of Orgasm

I didn’t have any when I was a child, I didn’t even know what it meant. No one ever said anything about rubbing up against things or some of the other methods I have heard of since, and I certainly didn’t touch myself – that too was unheard of in my family! Now I know there are lots of sizes and flavors and levels of intensity. My earliest and only “sexual” memory from childhood was a girl friend and I playing doctor with scotch tape and our pants down. We were caught and shamed by her mom. We were maybe about six.

At 11 years old, I began bleeding and had NO idea what was happening. My mom saw me cleaning up my underwear and brought in a book, an elastic belt, and a box of pads. In a scolding voice, she said, “Now, don’t let any boys touch you!”

What was that supposed to mean? I knew a boy I liked (I still know him) and when I told him what she said, we decided to touch little fingers and see if that would br...

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Are you in a Realtionship with a Love Avoidant??

Are you in a Relationship with a Love Avoidant?

by, Suzanne Rucker

Being in a relationship with a love avoidant can be a drain on almost anyone. When a relationship starts to become too close, the Love Avoidant will pull away emotionally from their partner to avoid the feeling of being engulfed or controlled. This is an intense fear that leads the Love Avoidant to put up walls of anger, fear, silence (keeping talk to a minimum), and artificial maturity (staying calm at all times). The partner will get the feeling the Love Avoidant is really not in the relationship because, for the most part, they are not.

Three Characteristics of a Love Avoidant:

1. Love Avoidants evade intensity in the relationship by creating chaos (usually addictions) outside of the relationship.

2. Love Avoidants avoid being “known” in the relationship as a protection against engulfed or control by their partner.

3. Love Avoidants avoid contact with their partners by using techniques to distance t...

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Mate Poaching | 3 Reasons Why Women Do It

Most women would probably admit that at some point in their life, they have been attracted to someone who is already married, but they would never think of trying to do anything to lure the man away from his wife. However, for some women, they only seek out married and committed men to have a relationship with.

Mate Poaching is a term coined by David Buss several years ago in his book entitled “Evolution of Desire” that defines the behavior of men and women who purposely seek out people in a committed relationship. A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology by Oklahoma State University found that of the single women in the study who were told their “match” was currently in a romantic relationship, 90% said they would pursue the man knowing he was not single. Dionne Mahoffey wrote a book on the subject entitled, “Girl, Leave Her Man Alone”. Websites like ashleymadison.com actually promote married people having affairs.

Why do...

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Cultivating a Great Relationship: Protect your fun times together.

 

Marie and her husband were going out on a date for the first time in several months. To make matters worse, life had gotten very hectic and she had not even had a chance to talk with him for a while and there were some things that were bothering her that she had been wanting to talk about. They were going to a benefit that was a 45 minute drive from their house. Marie figured, "hey I have Franco alone for 45 minutes. We can finally talk, then we can have a great time together. " Meanwhile, Franco is driving the car. He is excited because he is actually going to go out with his wife and have fun. No kids. No hassles. Marie starts to talk about what Franco has been doing that has been bothering her. He is taken by surprise. He immediately reacts and accuses her of always ruining anything good they do together. Marie immediately reacts to his reaction. A fight ensues and the evening is ruined.

There are several ways that Marie and Franco could have dealt with this differently. Sh...

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The 2 Most Common Mistakes Made by People with ADHD in Maintaining Friendships

Given our busy lives, it is no wonder that many of us have difficulty keeping up with friendships. But for individuals with ADHD, maintaining healthy friendships can be even a bigger struggle than for most. How does one balance the many demands that life puts upon us while keeping our vital connections to those people we truly value? The following article takes a look at 2 of the most common mistakes made by those with ADHD when it comes to maintaining these close friendships.

Many individuals with ADHD attract many friends due to their zany sense of humor, high energy, and creative fun loving nature. However, for many people with ADHD, maintaining good friendships over a sustained period of time may be difficult, due to a variety of reasons including boredom, poor time management, problems with memory and behaviors that may be interpreted as being selfish or unresponsive to other's needs. Out of all the difficulties one faces in maintaining good friendships, the 2 most common mistake...

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Intimacy Disorder Explained

What is an Intimacy Disorder?

While you will not find Intimacy Disorders listed in the DSM-IV-TR, the American Psychiatric Association’s publication that is the standard in the mental health treatment community for categorizing mental disorders, it is a very common diagnosis with individuals and couples that come in to work on the quality of their relationship. Having read numerous books, attended dozens of hours of training and having worked with many couples affected by an intimacy disorder I have come up with my own definition.

An Intimacy Disorder is a personality style and/or adopted behavioral pattern that fails to support the progressive healthy deepening of an interpersonal relationship. Put more simply, having trouble getting or staying close to others. Intimacy Disorders can be categorized into four common forms: Sexual Anorexia, Love Avoidance, Love Addiction, and Sexual Addictions. Let’s briefly introduce each form, look at some common patterns, and learn what ...

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