Life Lessons Category

Go Out the Same Way that You came In

Are you a person who lives a stressed out life? Do you just seem to drown in your own misery-and enjoy doing it? Like the old expression says, “Your attitude is the only card you have to play." The beauty of it is that your attitude is controlled by your subconscious mind. So if you are choosing to be 'stressed,' then your subconscious mind must get some benefit from this. Or else you would not do it (habits work the same way btw). So if you choose to see life as a “high stress,” you can easily get stuck in this vicious cycle. The question is how do you get out of it? It is really easy. Go out the exact way that you came in-through the power of your mind (thoughts). To really succeed at this, it is so important to utilize healing therapies like EFT, Reiki and Hypnosis-the latter especially works on opening up your mind to the possibility of a harmonious (stress free) life. And once your subconscious mind is opened up to the possibility of this, then what follows is, n...

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On Forgiveness

People find forgiveness difficult. I suspect the reason for that is that most people think forgiveness is about the other person, about letting them off the hook, or letting them get away with whatever they've done, and that somehow, forgiving them means you are weak.

As far as I can tell, it's just the opposite: forgiveness makes you strong. Forgiveness is NOT for the other person, it's for YOU.

Someone once told me that refusing to forgive someone is just like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. I love the image that brings to mind. You are trying to hurt them, because they deserve it! But the only one you are harming is yourself. You are the one sitting there feeling hateful and spiteful and angry. The other person is not worried about you or your bitterness. They are off living their life, not paying you any mind. You are the one carrying around the pain wishing you weren't.

Forgiving someone does not mean that what they did is ok with you. It does mean that you...

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Grounding and Finding Your Center: 4 Ways to Step into Spirit, Ground Out, & Find Your Inner Balance

Many times we hear about finding our center, grounding ourselves, reaching balance in areas of our lives. In this blog I want to share with you my personal journey that led me to grounding, as well as 4 simple ways you can learn to ground in your own life.

For many years, I dealt with anxiety and had been diagnosed with panic disorder. I lived disconnected from my body and excluded from the world. My anxiety peaked in my undergraduate years of college at rapid speed. I sought therapist after therapist to help me with this unique phobia. As I grew older, my spirituality started to grow with me. I tried various alternative therapies, as well as psychotherapy to help me get this anxiety and panic under control. I was tired of it ruling my life. I avoided people, places, and things that would trigger me. Nothing seemed to help long enough and I would go back to having panic attacks. After many therapists, I found a therapist who helped me reach some level of control. She encouraged techni...

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How to get the most out of challenges: 3 Step Obstacle Clearing

We all have challenging moments in life that can sometimes bring us to our knees in writhe. Sometimes we dread having to make those difficult decisions when we are faced with challenging obstacles.

When you are stressed out, overwhelmed, being triggered by someone or something, having to make a difficult decisions, etc…it can feel scary, distressing, frustrating, irritating, or saddening. Obstacles were meant to be placed in our lives as a source of opportunity for self realization. I am sure you have heard the phrase “when opportunity knocks, answer” BUT what if that opportunity knocking at our door was something that we didn’t want? What if that opportunity was scary? What if that opportunity felt uncomfortable? We may sometimes only want opportunity when it is good, non-challenging, easy, and comforting. It is easier to answer the door when the opportunity doesn’t ruffle our britches!

How can we take challenges, obstacles, and roadblocks and begin to...

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The Art of Relationships

What is the secret to any good relationship? I'll give you a hint, it starts with a "C" and ends with "ompromise." Yes compromise. No good relationship can exist without it! Compromise, by definition, is "an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions." Each side must give up something before either side gets anything. While some people struggle with this, it is truly easy. One of the best (and easiest) ways to accomplish compromise is to empathize with the other person. By definition, to empathize is to, "understand and share the feelings of another." To do this , we must pretend we are that person in any way that we can do so-talking, acting like, imagining (hmmm-sounds like, a job for ...hypnosis!). Once we empathize only then can we truly understand what the other person might want and why. And that's what they call compromise-the key to success in All relationships.

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Second-Hand Parents

Grandparenting and second-hand shopping have a lot in common.

Both are absolutely wonderful.

They're not first of all mine. Their way of being has been tested. I don't have to break them in. And there's a lot less thought about how things look, what will people think of me, and does it match?

Aside from the pleasant frugality of shopping second-hand, I know the product has been tried. If it was going to shrink, it is shrunk. If it was fragile, it wouldn't be there. If it scuffs easily, I can see the scuffs. This has belonged to someone else. And now I have an opportunity to take it home if I wish.

Nothing to do with the trend of the day. What works works. Sometimes crazy pizzaz, and usually just plain comfortable and easy-wear. Sometimes bright and shiny, usually fairly non-descript.

Parenting is dealing with someone brand new! Our whole identity seems at stake. People are watching, aren't they? How will our children behave? What will people think when my child tantrums at the gro...

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"We must be the change we wish to be."

Brian Johnson of Entheos ( this sweet anecdote of this wise man's follow-through on his own idea:

"A woman travels across India to see Gandhi. After waiting all day to speak to him, she asks him to tell her child to stop eating sugar.He tells her to come back in a week.

She travels to see Gandhi the following week. She asks him to tell her child to stop eating sugar. He says to the child, "Son, stop eating sugar."

The mother asks Gandhi why she had to wait a week and travel that great distance a second time.

He tells her, "A week ago, I was still eating sugar."


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Grieving - A Soft Opening of the Heart

Originally puplished August 30, 2012 on Soul-Spirit Integration's website

Anodea Judith names grief as the “demon of the heart chakra1”. She states that the frequent disappointment of our striving for love and connection — with others and the world at large —results in loss of hope, and perpetual, suppressed grief. This grief turns in on itself, hardens the heart to protect it from more pain and leaves us bitter, hopeless, and even more isolated.

In the western world we live in a society that is uncomfortable witnessing the pain of loss. We medicate our feelings of sadness and pain with pills, alcohol, or extreme activity. We have learned that to be well means to be happy at all cost and grief is not a happy feeling — thus it must be ‘bad’. An article in The Lancet2 discusses the increasing trend to medicalize grief as depression. Instead of allowing an individual to go through his or her grieving process in his or her own way, society incre...

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History Lessons - Living with our roots

These past few months I have been contemplating my rootedness in life and how it has served or hindered me over the years. I also have seen this question arise in my clients’ work over the years and I know that there are blessings as well as some traps in being deeply and soundly rooted in the past.Years back, when going through my psychotherapy training I was asked to look back, not only on my own life but also those of the people who came before me: my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. It was an enlightening exercise as it showed me how much of who I am was based on their life experiences, fears, hopes, joys, and pains (I recommend the exercise for anyone who is interested in finding out more about what ‘makes them tick’, as they say). And because of my own interest and leanings I also have looked deeply into my lives before this life, my past incarnations as much as I can remember them. I have come to realize that I — like everyone on this planet...

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Stagnation and Learning To Move On

For many the past is something that plays a major role in who we are today. Often times we find ourselves repeating the mistakes of our past, leaving us stuck. Yesterday is what was, tomorrow is where we see ourselves going and today is the day you implement the changes in order to grow. So ask yourself what stage of the process are you in? Once you can determine where you are in this process you can then begin to figure out where you are headed. We all get lost along the way, the key is to keep moving, so as not to become stagnate. The solution to "Stagnation" is learning to move on; which is influenced by the following three things that hold us back: grudges, broken hearts and the inability to have accountability. So the real question is how do you forgive? You simply follow the famous motto of NIKE and "JUST DO IT". Second, how do you heal a broken heart? The process of healing a broken heart takes patience, self-love and time AND is something not to be rushed through. And thir...

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