Marriage And Family Counseling Category

The Investigation

One of the saddest rewards of greatness is an individual who will deliberately seek out your flaws, only to avoid someone discovering theirs. This is the nature of leadership bruised by being overweight or the need to over achieve and this sadness goes on in the church. When someone with a legitimate gift and calling comes on the scene and is recognized by the Chief Apostle of the house, CEO of a solid Fortune 500 company, all of a sudden, the elders are nervous, the assistant pastor now needs to investigate your documents and apostolic succession to make sure you are known by someone other than the credentials you hold, and the executive V.P. goes out of his way to misdirect you from any and all meetings, forgetting that you have the pipeline of favor and are well liked by the CFO in charge of a business venture that has been out of reach. For all intended purposes, some of this is truly needed. But when you’re an educated Man\Woman, Rev.Dr./Newly Degreed, Partner in the states m...

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Go Out the Same Way that You came In

Are you a person who lives a stressed out life? Do you just seem to drown in your own misery-and enjoy doing it? Like the old expression says, “Your attitude is the only card you have to play." The beauty of it is that your attitude is controlled by your subconscious mind. So if you are choosing to be 'stressed,' then your subconscious mind must get some benefit from this. Or else you would not do it (habits work the same way btw). So if you choose to see life as a “high stress,” you can easily get stuck in this vicious cycle. The question is how do you get out of it? It is really easy. Go out the exact way that you came in-through the power of your mind (thoughts). To really succeed at this, it is so important to utilize healing therapies like EFT, Reiki and Hypnosis-the latter especially works on opening up your mind to the possibility of a harmonious (stress free) life. And once your subconscious mind is opened up to the possibility of this, then what follows is, n...

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The Real Issue

I get contacted by people who ask me to help them with habits like smoking, overeating, stress and pain. It is so important to realize that these habits are merely symptoms of a larger issue. While the client and I may recognize the symptoms (habits), we do not really spend a lot of time or energy on them. There is something causing the "symptoms" to manifest -that is the real issue that we work on. For example, the bad habits that are associated with overeating may be caused by the stress of a bad relationship (for example a job, a place they live or another person). If this is the case, then we work together to change the "bad" relationship.-This can mean changing the way the client perceives the relationship to potentially eliminating that relationship from their life or anything in between! And, need I say it? We use EFT Hypnosis and Reiki to work on the real issue. Focusing not on symptoms, but on what is causing them (the real issue) is truly the only way to rid anyone of habits ...

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The Art of Relationships

What is the secret to any good relationship? I'll give you a hint, it starts with a "C" and ends with "ompromise." Yes compromise. No good relationship can exist without it! Compromise, by definition, is "an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions." Each side must give up something before either side gets anything. While some people struggle with this, it is truly easy. One of the best (and easiest) ways to accomplish compromise is to empathize with the other person. By definition, to empathize is to, "understand and share the feelings of another." To do this , we must pretend we are that person in any way that we can do so-talking, acting like, imagining (hmmm-sounds like, a job for ...hypnosis!). Once we empathize only then can we truly understand what the other person might want and why. And that's what they call compromise-the key to success in All relationships.

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Tangos Of Debt Accumulation: What Are They Worth?

Watch Jane or Bob max out on their credit cards. Is that their partner Jim or Mary registering a half hearted protest? Listen to Spot bark and scratch his neck in befuddlement when Jim or Mary pay off the abused credit cards and then, look stunned when the sun rises on another spending spree? Was Spot’s ears playing tricks on him when after one of Jane or Bob’s rants about their partners not contributing enough to their respective households, they agreed to take out loans to renovate their kitchens? Could it be that this actually came out of Jim and Mary’s mouths; the same Jim and Mary who are in charge of the finances and know full well they will once again have to rob Peter to pay Paul this month? Did Spot really hear Jim and Mary say to Jane and Bob after screaming at Jane and Bob about their impulsive and excessive spending: “Don’t worry about the finances I’ve got matters under control?”

There is something definitely wrong with these pict...

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MARRIAGE - What it IS and what is ISN'T

MARRIAGE – What it IS and what is ISN’T

Marriage is not a net to catch a moving target.

Marriage is the answer to THIS question: When I give you everything I have and you give me everything I need, I give you all of me.

ANY of these --- are warning signs, not green lights. The negatives often become amplified. 1) if's... 2) "okay, I changed my mind, again." 3) Uncertainty (Once you're mine, I can handle this. Because I don't trust you enough now or have enough confidence in my ability to make this work, unless I have a contract, so I KNOW that you are MINE) 4) Belief that marriage is a FIX 5) if you marry me, i will become [confident, trusting, someone i'm not now...] 6) manipulation 7) control 8) Ultimatums

If it's not good enough now ...and getting better everyday. That's not gonna change in a positive way when there's a fence (marriage) to keep you. Marriage, like money, can amplify what's already there. If there is uncertainty, manipulative and controlling behaviors...

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How strong is your relationship?

Relationships come in a vast variety. Some are for business, pleasure, or intimacy. A healthy relationship, whatever the type, needs to consist of trust and respect; otherwise, it is flawed and due to hurt someone. An intimate relationship HAS to have 3 factors: Trust, Respect, and Love. Love is what usually draws 2 people into an intimate relationship. But if trust or respect are not well developed, the relationship will become unhealthy and one or more will be hurt. When you love someone, ask yourself if you feel trusted and respected and whether you trust and respect the other. 

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Conscious Couples

The challenge of relationship is always one of self-discovery, as well as learning the simple strategies that make partnership work. Fortunately, in many cases a variety of approaches can make a real difference in pleasure, connection, and success. The challenge is stepping into new realms, and experiencing previously unknown ways of being together. It's something kids do all the time, but we often shy away from. However, if you know what you want, and see it clearly, that step can be made, in a moment of choice. It really is up to you.

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Weddings: Marrying your Soulmate

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life." - Richard Bach

I find it incredibly exciting and rewarding to offer Premarital Counselling as well as Wedding Ceremonies to my clients. I truly believe that bringing together Soulmates is a sacred responsibility, and I take my work very seriously. In my private life, I have been married for 15 years to my very own Soulmate, and we have been blessed with a wonderful life. I would consider it an honour to share my years of experience with you in preparation for your blessed event. I believe that every couple who desires to marry h...

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Is Couples Therapy Just A Sign Of The End Of A Relationship?

[From the Downtown Therapy blog]

 

I would be lying if years ago, upon hearing that a couple were considering relationship counselling, I didn’t hear a voice in the back of my head cry out: “Dead man walking!”. In other words, it seemed that couples therapy was the beginning of the end.

This is a bit of fatalism which is not helped by a dearth of positive examples in TV and film. North American society has lived under an implicit rule that admitting you need help is a sign of an underlying weakness of character. The reality is that, increasingly, couples are realizing that talking openly about their differences with a qualified therapist is in fact a marvellous way to discharge tension in the relationship.

When we enter a serious relationship, we bring our own ideas with us; ideas about money, sexual intimacy, communication, privacy. Many of these ideas are influenced by previous relationships. And sometimes, while individually each partner’s influences...

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