Marriage And Family Counseling Category

On Marriage

Have you ever wondered why people get married? It’s no longer a necessity in modern day, so why is that piece of paper still so important to some of us? Why do people get married in the first place? There are a number of different reasons that people marry. Only you can decide if it’s right for you. It is certainly beneficial and respectful to the commitment of marriage that two people enter the union with their eyes open. Marriages that are born on faulty ground can be doomed before the ceremony. The following reasons to get married are in themselves, not enough to ensure the best beginning in planting the seed that we all hope will grow into a lasting relationship. If that’s what you’re working toward, the following list may be warning signs that that readiness and rightness are not adequate and that you might not be quite prepared to have a relationship built on a solid foundation.

On Marriage - Have you ever wondered why people get married? It’s no lo...

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Pack (after divorce) with Emotional Care

By Nancy Fagan, The Divorce Help Clinic LLC™

By nature, women are nesters and work hard to make their house a home. When divorce happens, the process of dismantling personal effects, carefully gathered and arranged through the years can be heart wrenching.

Packing stirs up feelings of loss surrounding the dreams of a life together that have ended. This can be a traumatic experience not only for you, but also for everyone in the family. Not only is the home being lost, all the items of familiar comfort are being divided. In its place, shattered dreams and the lack of emotional safety and security fill the space. Packing under these conditions requires thoughtful and deliberate steps. Following the tips below will make the process a little easier.

Inventory Agreement. Prior to packing, generate a list of household items that you plan to take. Have your husband review the list and sign the bottom of the page to show that he is in agreement. If there is any thing under question, n...

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It takes courage to look inside

When I think of all of the patients I have worked with over the years I think of all that they have accomplished through the trusting relationship we were able to create.  I know how much courage it takes to look inside oneself and learn how to shine light into those dark places.  In a recent conversation with a patient she was struggling with why she continued to have the same negative thoughts.  I validated her feelings and supported her emotionally and as I sat there with her she eventually blurted out (much to her surprise) what the real problem was.  I heard the pain and we worked on the negative belief.  She showed great courage in continuing to work on the issues instead of running away or hiding as she had done in the past.  It was amazing to be with her through this and to see the strong capapble woman she was.  It reall does take a lot of courage to go inside.

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The Impact of Stress on Relationships

Dr Pamela Brewer talks with Maryland Psychotherapist Rodney Orders about the impact of stress on relationships. Stress, particularly chronic stress, can be a powerful predictor of physical and mental health - learn more about this often overlooked experience that impacts the lives of so many.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/myndtalk-with-dr-pamela-brewer/2014/04/11/myndtalk-with-dr-pamela-brewer--impact-of-stress-on-relationships

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The Investigation

One of the saddest rewards of greatness is an individual who will deliberately seek out your flaws, only to avoid someone discovering theirs. This is the nature of leadership bruised by being overweight or the need to over achieve and this sadness goes on in the church. When someone with a legitimate gift and calling comes on the scene and is recognized by the Chief Apostle of the house, CEO of a solid Fortune 500 company, all of a sudden, the elders are nervous, the assistant pastor now needs to investigate your documents and apostolic succession to make sure you are known by someone other than the credentials you hold, and the executive V.P. goes out of his way to misdirect you from any and all meetings, forgetting that you have the pipeline of favor and are well liked by the CFO in charge of a business venture that has been out of reach. For all intended purposes, some of this is truly needed. But when you’re an educated Man\Woman, Rev.Dr./Newly Degreed, Partner in the states m...

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Go Out the Same Way that You came In

Are you a person who lives a stressed out life? Do you just seem to drown in your own misery-and enjoy doing it? Like the old expression says, “Your attitude is the only card you have to play." The beauty of it is that your attitude is controlled by your subconscious mind. So if you are choosing to be 'stressed,' then your subconscious mind must get some benefit from this. Or else you would not do it (habits work the same way btw). So if you choose to see life as a “high stress,” you can easily get stuck in this vicious cycle. The question is how do you get out of it? It is really easy. Go out the exact way that you came in-through the power of your mind (thoughts). To really succeed at this, it is so important to utilize healing therapies like EFT, Reiki and Hypnosis-the latter especially works on opening up your mind to the possibility of a harmonious (stress free) life. And once your subconscious mind is opened up to the possibility of this, then what follows is, n...

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The Real Issue

I get contacted by people who ask me to help them with habits like smoking, overeating, stress and pain. It is so important to realize that these habits are merely symptoms of a larger issue. While the client and I may recognize the symptoms (habits), we do not really spend a lot of time or energy on them. There is something causing the "symptoms" to manifest -that is the real issue that we work on. For example, the bad habits that are associated with overeating may be caused by the stress of a bad relationship (for example a job, a place they live or another person). If this is the case, then we work together to change the "bad" relationship.-This can mean changing the way the client perceives the relationship to potentially eliminating that relationship from their life or anything in between! And, need I say it? We use EFT Hypnosis and Reiki to work on the real issue. Focusing not on symptoms, but on what is causing them (the real issue) is truly the only way to rid anyone of habits ...

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The Art of Relationships

What is the secret to any good relationship? I'll give you a hint, it starts with a "C" and ends with "ompromise." Yes compromise. No good relationship can exist without it! Compromise, by definition, is "an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions." Each side must give up something before either side gets anything. While some people struggle with this, it is truly easy. One of the best (and easiest) ways to accomplish compromise is to empathize with the other person. By definition, to empathize is to, "understand and share the feelings of another." To do this , we must pretend we are that person in any way that we can do so-talking, acting like, imagining (hmmm-sounds like, a job for ...hypnosis!). Once we empathize only then can we truly understand what the other person might want and why. And that's what they call compromise-the key to success in All relationships.

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Tangos Of Debt Accumulation: What Are They Worth?

Watch Jane or Bob max out on their credit cards. Is that their partner Jim or Mary registering a half hearted protest? Listen to Spot bark and scratch his neck in befuddlement when Jim or Mary pay off the abused credit cards and then, look stunned when the sun rises on another spending spree? Was Spot’s ears playing tricks on him when after one of Jane or Bob’s rants about their partners not contributing enough to their respective households, they agreed to take out loans to renovate their kitchens? Could it be that this actually came out of Jim and Mary’s mouths; the same Jim and Mary who are in charge of the finances and know full well they will once again have to rob Peter to pay Paul this month? Did Spot really hear Jim and Mary say to Jane and Bob after screaming at Jane and Bob about their impulsive and excessive spending: “Don’t worry about the finances I’ve got matters under control?”

There is something definitely wrong with these pict...

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MARRIAGE - What it IS and what is ISN'T

MARRIAGE – What it IS and what is ISN’T

Marriage is not a net to catch a moving target.

Marriage is the answer to THIS question: When I give you everything I have and you give me everything I need, I give you all of me.

ANY of these --- are warning signs, not green lights. The negatives often become amplified. 1) if's... 2) "okay, I changed my mind, again." 3) Uncertainty (Once you're mine, I can handle this. Because I don't trust you enough now or have enough confidence in my ability to make this work, unless I have a contract, so I KNOW that you are MINE) 4) Belief that marriage is a FIX 5) if you marry me, i will become [confident, trusting, someone i'm not now...] 6) manipulation 7) control 8) Ultimatums

If it's not good enough now ...and getting better everyday. That's not gonna change in a positive way when there's a fence (marriage) to keep you. Marriage, like money, can amplify what's already there. If there is uncertainty, manipulative and controlling behaviors...

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