Personal Growth Category

The River

The flow of our life is a lot like that of a river. It ebbs and flows. It can be icy and rigid or smooth and flowing. Sometimes it is wild and windy, other times it is clear and calm. When the latter happens, that river must have had a sense of equilibrium. By definition, equilibrium means "the condition of a system in which all competing influences are balanced, in a wide variety of contexts." The key word here is balanced! Similar to a river, A person's life must be balanced to achieve equilibrium or what the Chinese call Yin and Yang. It is no coincidence that we are so much like water as our bodies are made up of 70% water (and the earth's surface is the same). Water and electricity are also very similar. Both are made up of currents (energy) and both seek the easiest route -this is why rivers flood and why people get shocks (I was going to say electrocuted but I want to keep this blog positive). Just like water what we are always seeking is that perfect equilibrium or balance in o...

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Intervention Certification- Live in Exton, PA with The Addictions Academy!

Intervention Certification- Live in Exton, PA with The Addictions Academy!As the Northeast is finally thawing out from a brutal winter, Pennsylvania welcomes back Cali Estes, The Addictions Coach.

Join Cali Estes and The Addictions Academy Live in Exton, PA at the Holiday Inn Express April 7-9. She will be teaching a 3-day Nationally Certified Intervention Course.

As a Certified Interventionist, you hold the highest CADAAC approved intervention training and NAADAC approved intervention training on the market. Imagine helping others by offering them a secure and safe alcohol intervention or drug intervention to get their loved one into treatment. All of our courses meet state and national standards in Intervention Certification and Intervention training Course guidelines.

If you have ‘the gift’ to help people get into rehab or detox and turn their lives around, this career as a State Certified Interventionist is for you. You are probably in recovery yourself and have a tr...

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Sometimes Not Happy But Loving


Lorna Hayim-Baker
Licensed Clinical Social Worker

When two people love each other is it true that they will always make each other happy? I do not think "happy" is a fitting adjective to use when discussing marital goals or one that describes a committed and loving relationship between two people that have said "I love you" to one another because happiness is a an incomplete and trivial measuring rod of life. Most mature people, whether married or not, don't expect life only to be joyful. Happiness as the primary goal of a marriage/loving relationship can become its undoing, for it easily leads to self seeking, self centeredness and self indulgence.. That is why couples, young and old, seeking release from a marriage/relationship in trouble often cry out and say "I have a right to be happy".

I see marriage or any two partners who are in a committed monogamous relationship as the creation of two imperfect people who are willing to make compromises, work out adjustments and control emotio...

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On Forgiveness

People find forgiveness difficult. I suspect the reason for that is that most people think forgiveness is about the other person, about letting them off the hook, or letting them get away with whatever they've done, and that somehow, forgiving them means you are weak.

As far as I can tell, it's just the opposite: forgiveness makes you strong. Forgiveness is NOT for the other person, it's for YOU.

Someone once told me that refusing to forgive someone is just like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. I love the image that brings to mind. You are trying to hurt them, because they deserve it! But the only one you are harming is yourself. You are the one sitting there feeling hateful and spiteful and angry. The other person is not worried about you or your bitterness. They are off living their life, not paying you any mind. You are the one carrying around the pain wishing you weren't.

Forgiving someone does not mean that what they did is ok with you. It does mean that you...

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Grounding and Finding Your Center: 4 Ways to Step into Spirit, Ground Out, & Find Your Inner Balance

Many times we hear about finding our center, grounding ourselves, reaching balance in areas of our lives. In this blog I want to share with you my personal journey that led me to grounding, as well as 4 simple ways you can learn to ground in your own life.

For many years, I dealt with anxiety and had been diagnosed with panic disorder. I lived disconnected from my body and excluded from the world. My anxiety peaked in my undergraduate years of college at rapid speed. I sought therapist after therapist to help me with this unique phobia. As I grew older, my spirituality started to grow with me. I tried various alternative therapies, as well as psychotherapy to help me get this anxiety and panic under control. I was tired of it ruling my life. I avoided people, places, and things that would trigger me. Nothing seemed to help long enough and I would go back to having panic attacks. After many therapists, I found a therapist who helped me reach some level of control. She encouraged techni...

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The Real Issue

I get contacted by people who ask me to help them with habits like smoking, overeating, stress and pain. It is so important to realize that these habits are merely symptoms of a larger issue. While the client and I may recognize the symptoms (habits), we do not really spend a lot of time or energy on them. There is something causing the "symptoms" to manifest -that is the real issue that we work on. For example, the bad habits that are associated with overeating may be caused by the stress of a bad relationship (for example a job, a place they live or another person). If this is the case, then we work together to change the "bad" relationship.-This can mean changing the way the client perceives the relationship to potentially eliminating that relationship from their life or anything in between! And, need I say it? We use EFT Hypnosis and Reiki to work on the real issue. Focusing not on symptoms, but on what is causing them (the real issue) is truly the only way to rid anyone of habits ...

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Troubled adolescents: Working therapeutically using a schema focused approach

Written by Dr Dorothy Ojarikri, Chartered Clinical Psychologist and Director of UK Private Psychology.


Working therapeutically with troubled adolescents is always both challenging and rewarding and never more so than with those adolescents who lack a supportive relationship with a parent or other adult. Maxine*, 18, is one such young person referred by both her Aunt and herself for therapy last autumn and I am sharing my experience of the process so far of schema therapy with her.

Dear Maxine


During our initial 3 psychological assessment sessions you described what a struggle life has been for you. Your Mum and Dad divorced ten years ago following an acrimonious separation involving marital infidelity by them both. Both your Aunt and you report that your Dad has social communication difficulties. He has never met your emotional needs and favours your younger maternal half-sister Kate* leaving you feeling worthless. Since your parents’ divorce your Mum has worked as a prostitut...

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Morning Renewal

Too often our morning routines are rushed and we start the day running.  It is this fast paced lifestyle that can create havoc with our mental and physical health.  We need to slow down and realize that we can get everything done if we pace ourselves.  Creating a morning renewal activity can help you start the day on a positive note and set the foundation for a calmer, more focused and centered day.  Many of us during work weeks just jump out of bed and don't take a second to get our bearings.  I know you don't want to set your alarm any earlier but just 10 minutes can give you the time you need to begin a mindful morning. Here are some ideas to help you develop your own morning renewal:

  1. One you hit the alarm, lay on your back, open your eyes and focus on your breathing.  Count each breath starting with your inhale as 1, exhae as 2 and go to 10. 
  2. Stretch your arms above your head and turn onto your side to slowly get up.
  3. Put your left ankle ...

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A Better Life Is Always Just One Thought Away...

L'Wren Scott, a beautiful person with enormous talent dies at age 49, as the result of an apparent suicide, leaving friends, family and her significant other to mourn her loss . It didn’t have to end this way.

If you would like to know about a simple fact of life, that would have saved her and can save countless others in the future, please read on.

While reading about her ultra successful life, in the world of fashion design, and her long-term relationship with a man she adored and spoke of as her ideal partner, Mick Jagger -- something jumped out at me. The Daily Beast had quoted her in 2009, speaking of her designs, as saying: “It’s fun to see the ideas in your head spring to life, because it all starts in your mind.”

That is so true, but what she hadn’t realized was that just because something is in our mind, doesn’t mean that it has to spring to life. We have free will to decide which thoughts we will move forward with and which to let fade a...

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On Being Right

People love being right. Anytime we get the chance to be right we seem to take it. Being right, and its corollary, making someone else wrong, is like an addiction. It's as bad as smoking, over-eating, gambling, or any fill-in-the-blank vice; you know it's not good for you, but you like doing it so much that in the moment, you don't care and you can't seem to help yourself.

I say it's 'like' an addiction, because it's not actually an addiction. While we are compelled to be right by survival instinct, we do have a choice. It seems as though we can't help it, but we can. We just don't want to. Why not? Because from where we are looking, the payoff seems great! But there are costs involved. Do you even know what the payoffs and the costs are?

Most of us have never actually thought that through. Could you even put the payoffs and costs into words?

Let's take a look and see what we see...

Payoffs

You get to be right! What a great rush that is. You feel smart, you feel accomplished, mayb...

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