Relationship Counseling Category

How Do You Show Love??

How do you show your partner love in a way that maintains a feeling of intimacy and connection in your relationship or marriage? How do you need to recieve love? We often attempt to show our loved ones love in ways that we would like to receive love rather than the way they recognize and receive love. Once you understand they ways they need to be shown love, you can change your patterns in the relationship. Visiting a Relationship Counsellor can provide the opportunity to explore what is meaningful to each member of the partnership or marriage. Learn how two have your needs met while also understanding your partners needs.

Kerry Vega, MTC, RPC

Visit http://vegacounselling.com for more tips and tricks on improving your relationships in your love life, family and career.

 

 

View video at http://youtu.be/rZ0j67HMTow

 

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Relationships: Start Strong and Stay Strong

Relationships – Start Strong and Stay Strong Relationships can be resilient and enduring. It’s important to go in with your eyes wide open and to do ‘your part’ to nurture the relationship. Know yourself and what you want out of the relationship. When you get right with yourself, it opens up the door to opportunities that directly relate to developing a strong union. Contentment and happiness come from inside and are major contributions to ‘doing your part’ in your relationship. Enter a relationship with realistic expectations. Don’t expect your spouse to support his/her needs and all of yours too. You are ultimately responsible to support yourself emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. Work on thinking positively. Search for the meaning in your life. Continue to learn. These are opportunities to develop your self for a richer, more satisfying life. ***

While complete independence is neither possible nor desirable, by standing on your ow...

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On Marriage

Have you ever wondered why people get married? It’s no longer a necessity in modern day, so why is that piece of paper still so important to some of us? Why do people get married in the first place? There are a number of different reasons that people marry. Only you can decide if it’s right for you. It is certainly beneficial and respectful to the commitment of marriage that two people enter the union with their eyes open. Marriages that are born on faulty ground can be doomed before the ceremony. The following reasons to get married are in themselves, not enough to ensure the best beginning in planting the seed that we all hope will grow into a lasting relationship. If that’s what you’re working toward, the following list may be warning signs that that readiness and rightness are not adequate and that you might not be quite prepared to have a relationship built on a solid foundation.

On Marriage - Have you ever wondered why people get married? It’s no lo...

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Nine Charactertistics of Anger Behavior

Characteristics of Anger Behavior:

  • You don’t own or state your feelings directly—you slam doors, call people names, refuse to talk.
  • You may use sarcasm to express your anger and frustration.
  • You loose your temper and fly off the handle-have temper tantrums.
  • You intimidate others so they react defensively to you.
  • You insist on getting your own way.
  • You blame others or complain, things are always someone else’s fault
  • You hold grudges and vow to “get even
  • You make statements like “you make m"e mad”
  • You use explosive words and hand gestures

What is anger?

  • relates to a violation of one's standards; either you or someone else has violated these standards
  • sometimes these standards need to get re-evaluated
  • Anger is a secondary emotion- first you feel fear of loss (love, control, your integrity) then hurt, then anger.

Psychological Payoffs / Secondary Gains

  • Attention-getting behavior—people have to notice you
  • You feel a sen...

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Disappointment: How does it Happen?

What are some examples people have reported of experiences that led to feelings of  ‘disappointment?”

1- a love relationship collapses                                         5- no recognition for hard work you have been doing

2- you get turned down for job you really wanted               6- a friend, family member or date does not call

3- feeling misunderstood by a spouse or family member      7- a partner/family cancels a planned dinner

4- you just can't seem to reach a weight target                   8- poor performance and greades at school or s...

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Six Key Factors To Assess in Yourself and Others

Assess Six Factors in Others and Yourself

Whether you are learning about a prospective mate, deciding on a new business partner, or resolving a current problem with a friend or family member, here are six factors to consider.

First and Foremost: a well-developed sense of responsibility

  • Words and actions match;
  • agreed-upon division of labor
  • No withdrawing from difficult situations or blaming another and venting and ranting

Second: Self-Awareness: how well you know yourself

  • and how well someone knows him or herself.
  • Knowing oneself requires you think clearly about your desires and values. 
  • Until you see someone in a variety of situations you won’t know if he can be respectful when angry or communicative when stressed
  • Most people do not lie; they may however employ self-deceptive thinking telling you what they believe to be true about themselves

Third: know what someone values

  • If you know what matters to someone you will be able to adjust your expecta...

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Don't Break the Bank...Or Each Other: 3 Ways to Divorce Cheaply and Peacefully

Even though divorce can be incredibly difficult with emotions running high, the truth is that any couple – that’s right, any couple can truly find common ground when it comes to the expenses associated with divorce.

Between attorneys, court fees and orders, therapy and financing a new place to live, divorce is, needless to say, expensive. Through the years, I’ve never met a couple who didn’t want to save money during the process of their separation. And when both individuals can work toward a common goal of saving money, other details of the divorce tend to go smoothly in the spirit of mutual collaboration.

Make your divorce easier – both financially and emotionally — by following these three out-of-the-box money saving tips.


Opt for Mediation

You can save a whole lot of cash if you know how to navigate the divorce process wisely. One of the best ways to reduce costs associated with divorce is to avoid the old school “lawyering up” an...

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'Til Age 50 Do Us Part: Divorce Commonplace Among Baby Boomers

These days, marriage is more of a long-term lease than a forever sentiment. That’s because according to the latest reports on divorce statistics, more Americans age 50 and up are divorced than widowed – and that’s the first time since 1990.

A recent article published at The New York Times tells us that divorce rates among those 50 and older has grown in the last fifty years from 2.8 percent to 15.4 percent.

Divorce trend? Maybe. But most likely, divorcees are realizing that being single at an older age isn’t so bad. That’s not to say divorce isn’t difficult. It is – but with reduced stigma and working women, divorce is becoming a feasible option when counseling doesn’t work.

As much as the stigma has been reduced, though, rising divorce rates among the older American population is not without risk. Researchers at Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio say that just like widowers, divorcees will generally face economic st...

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What to Do About Your Little Boy Husband

By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC
I don’t mean to stereotype (too much), but do you think that husbands or boyfriends come in “types”? Although I not a fan of labeling people, I do believe that there are categories of issues that people struggle with. And by taking a look at and understanding a type, which in this case is just a description of a cluster of issues, we can gain perspective on our spouse and we can learn how to be involved in their lives in more helpful ways. My goal is not to start a bash-fest on certain husbands, but rather to equip wives (and girlfriends) to be able to engage with their partner in a way that moves him towards his best self. You see, it is true that you cannot change another person directly and that we cannot control people. But, it is like my friend says to me, “Yes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink it. But you can sweeten the water.” Let’s see if we can understand what would be ways to influe...

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5 Things to Think about When Considering Divorce

5 Things to Think about When Considering Divorce
By Nancy Fagan, www.Dyvorce.com

Considering leaving your spouse? You need a solid exit plan. Pre-divorce-planning involves carefully planning out often-overlooked aspects of your life before you announce you’re leaving. In 85 percent of divorces, it is the wife who initiates the divorce. Whether man or woman, if you are in this situation, starting a plan of action now is absolutely necessary. Just because your wife/husband wants everything, including the children, it does not necessarily mean that’s what has to happen. Learn how to get a fair settlement by playing smart and doing certain things that will help your situation tremendously.

Divorce planning is needed for both men and women. With that said, if you’re a woman, preparing in advance is even more important. In fact, most women are in a worse place financially after it’s all said and done. With this said, you don’t have to become a statistic. You have ...

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