Self Esteem Category
LGBT: You Don't Have to Have a Label
Many of my clients who are struggling with their sexuality or gender identity feel a sense of obligation to fit in one of the predefined categories. It usually arises from an internalized belief that if we don’t have a label to describe an essential aspect of our being, that we are somehow defective, antisocial or just deliberately trying to aggravate others.
The external pressure often comes from both the queer and straight community, and the internal pressure is often ingrained in us from an early age, simply by observing the way society represents itself.
Don't buy into it. Sexuality and gender identity are not always easily defined, nor do they need to be. Those who are experimenting, questioning, in transition, or simply do not want to be labeled have a right to be accepted as who they are, whether others understand or not. Societal norms are little more than an ever-changing artificial set of rules.
Be who you are and love yourself for it.
You May Be The Victim Of Domestic Violence And Not Even Know It
Domestic Violence (Non-Physical Type)
Many victims of domestic violence don't realize they are being victimized because they believe that the word "violence" indicates something physical, such as punching, choking, hitting, kicking or beating. Just because your partner doesn't engage in these behaviors doesn't mean you aren't being abused. If you are feeling powerless in your relationship, consider the following.
Does your partner constantly criticize, mock, yell at, and interrupt you? Do they make humiliating remarks, call you names, interrupt, yell and swear at you? Do your trusted loved ones encourage you to leave? Your partner may dismiss all of their concerns, telling you to listen only to her/him. This process can be insidious, occurring slowly without you realizing what is happening. It isn't your fault.
Controlling Behaviors
Abusers typically make it hard for the victim to see friends and relatives. They often monitor phone calls, text messages and/or emails, and want to know...
Access Bodywork to create the life you want!
Access Consciousness is a set of tools and techniques to change whatever isn’t working in an individual’s life, opening the individual to a different possibility and a different reality. Body Processes facilitate individuals to engage with the greatness of receiving the energies we have through and with our bodies. Hands on body processes guide individuals to tap into the capacity to heal, enjoy having a body and live fully embodied and fully engaged.
Sunday, May 19th & Sunday, May 26th, 11am to 7pm
There will be 2 Body Processes, so come for a half or a full day. Each Body Process is $55
Register here: http://www.drlisacooney.accessconsciousness.com Or call 415-377-6777
The Boy and the Dragons...
(Author’s note: This story will be blogged in two separate postings, one now and the other within the next few weeks).
There once was a Boy, fair of skin and blue of eyes, who was born in the middle of the U.S.A. It was a green land of oaks and sycamores, soybeans and hog farmers. There were cicadas and fireflies. The people talked slow and went to church. They were conservative, and slow to adopt the inevitable changes that leaked in from both oceans. They voted for John Kennedy, but they were uncomfortable with people whose skin was a different color. It was in the bible, they said.
The Boy lived in a small red brick house. On Sunday afternoons, he would sit on the front porch in a blue metal porch swing. He was surrounded by three other small blue-eyed children. The Boy was the oldest of his siblings. He reminded them often of this. Seated in the middle of these children was a balding man with curly hair and blue eyes. Next to him was a petite woman with green eyes, built to...
Breakfast
Many modern workplaces are set up in the "nose to the grindstone" mode. This is done so that employees are as productive as they can possible be. Is it time to change this outdated concept? The way things are now, many employees are overtired on a constant basis. However, The way our minds (and bodies) work best is to constantly recharge them. The idea of "just being productive," is counterproductive at best and damaging at worst. If we are fully recharged, fully rested and properly stimulated then we can do almost anything! This is why sleep,meditation and constant short breaks are so important. Schools still have recess-and workplaces should all have "break" rooms where employees can recharge. Another way of thinking of this is, in order to adopt a fresh perspective on any any type of problem solving, we must be able to step away from it-To distance ourselves! And the best way to do this is by constant mental and physical "breaking." In the past breaks were looked at as a form of laz...
The Power of Choice
How many of us have said, “I need to, or I need this or I need that…?”
Many individuals “set themselves up” for failure by their thoughts and emotional patterns of “wants” and “can’t” versus “choices.”
Consider the following statements:
“I need to lose weight, but I can’t”
“I need to stop smoking but I can’t
“I need to stop drinking, but I can’t”
“I need money, but I can’t”
“I need a better job, but I can’t”
“I need to end my relationship, but I can’t”
“I need to end the abuse I receive, but I can’t”
“I need to find a career, but I can’t”
“I need to go back to school, but I can’t”
“I need to change my life, but I can’t”
“I need to get out of this rut I’m in, but I can’t”
There isn’t anything wrong ex...
Understanding Binge Eating in Teens
Understanding Binge Eating In Teens:
Getting Help: If after reading this, you are convinced you or your teen may be suffering from Binge Eating Disorder, seek help of a professional who has had success in treating Binge Eating Disorder. Orlando Residents: Feel free to call me for a free over the phone consultation……
If you gorged yourself on chocolate during Halloween or ate so much of your grandma's pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving that you had to wear elastic-waist pants afterward, you know what it feels like to overeat. It's not unusual to overeat from time to time — most people do.
During our teens, the body demands extra nutrients to support growth of muscle and bone. So if you go through phases where you feel like eating more sometimes, that's usually why.
But binge eating is different from normal appetite increases or overeating over the holidays. People with a binge eating problem eat unusually large amounts of food on a regular basis. They often eat quickly,...
Learn to Say "No" So You Can Say "Yes" to Your Dreams
“You can never really say ‘yes’ until you learn to say ‘no,’”
… a friend said with a wink, and I replied with, “I like that, who said it?” I was surprised to learn that she was quoting something I had said at a workshop. I quickly remembered the point I was making. It’s a point that resonates with many of my clients — especially women who aren’t given the same permission to say “no.”
We live in a “yes” society. Many people today over-commit themselves. I don’t want to generalize everyone, some people juggle many activities beautifully without tiring and without resentment. But not everyone. Other people are in a harried race and end up exhausted, over-committed, resentful, and left wondering, “What about me and my dreams?!” Some are so used to saying “yes” to others’ dreams that their own have faded beyond recognition.
Whether people were raised with a...
How to get Un-Stuck
I am constantly asked by clients HOW they can change unwanted patterns in their lives. The question is varied but usually revolves around the same theme: I keep doing the same thing even though I don't want to be doing it. I guess you could call that the dictionary definition of being stuck, right? And it seems that in all of our lives there is some area in which we just feel that if we just tried hard enough, I would be able to establish a new patter. 'Then,' we tell ourselves, 'Then I'll be happy.'
And yet time after time, with every New Year's Resolution that comes and goes, with each new promise we make to ourselves or our families, with each time that something doesn't work, we feel like we have ended up right back where we started. The only difference being, of course, that this time we have something else to feel stuck about: another failed resolution.
So why is it that so many of our good intentions only end up bringing us full circle back to the same place, leaving us feel s...
Developing an Alter Ego and other Adventures in Mental Health
Who do you want to be, really? I mean, we all have these people that we walk around as day in and day out, and I think we’re pretty good folks most of us. But doesn’t everyone have a secret interior life? Somewhere in each of us is an unrealized ____ just waiting to come out and experience the world through our eyes. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time each and every one of us just threw down the gauntlet and let that guy/gal off the bench.
The inspiration for this post is my friend, Angela. She’s the person who makes me chicken dip when I’m sick, and knows how to do just about any bizarre and crafty thing you can imagine with a hot glue gun. She’s girly and frilly and in addition to that, she’s a really good therapist. So, just picture her now–resplendent with a careful manicure and a kind, nurturing smile. For god’s sakes, the woman makes bedazzled aprons in her spare time. However, my sweet Angela has an alter ego...
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