Self Esteem Category



My name is Kathy and I counsel clients in a very unique and different way using the expressive

arts. Expressive art and body movement are a fun way to explore your life and change the

chemistry in our body. As a Therapist I have referenced and used various therapy techniques,

specializing in Art/Dance Therapy, Genograms, Family systems and Cognitive Behavioral

Therapy. I maintain a practice in Sonora California and virtually via skype in the U.S I have 20

years of experience working with a wide range of emotional, relational, and behavioral issues

providing services that span from therapy for depression and anxiety, grief counseling, relief

from PTSD and disturbing life experiences. I have worked with children age four through

eighteen and adults incorporating changes in their diets, sleep recommendations and education. I

have seen remarkable results in moods and behavior modifications that took place within the

child which was discovered as the child attended...

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I have served as a school and counseling psychologist for parents, individuals and their children, and during this period it has become apparent to me that self-esteem is the most important variable affecting one’s ability to develop his or her potential effectively. Thus, it seems reasonable to assume that the most effective way of promoting the development of children and adults is to help them to understand the important effects that self-esteem –high and low- have on one’s behavior and to provide practical information which can help them become more effective.

Parenting is a complex process that is becoming progressively more demanding. The pressures created by our rapidly changing contemporary society heavily tax the coping strategies of both parent and child.

In a recent study, Dr. A.H. Thompson (former suicide-olgist) reported a linear correlation between self-esteem scores earned on my Culture Free Self-Esteem Inventory, and suicidal behavior. This observati...

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Retirement Would Be A Cinch If I Didn't Have To Stop Working

The marathon of our working lives can take a huge physical and emotional toll. We can easily seduce ourselves into believing that once we retire we will be much happier without the constant wear and tear on our aging minds and bodies. Sounds logical doesn’t it? Well, as many of us have learned about a whole host of relationships, whether it’s with a parent, child, or love interest, we don’t know what we will be missing until it is gone forever.

I will paint the picture of a retiree’s rude awakening to illustrate how unanticipated realities can be successfully managed despite the initial trauma of feeling blindsided by them. It’s never too late to teach an aging dog new tricks especially if the “proverbial dog” is not a dog at all but a sentient being. This story of personal growth and behavioral change is a composite portrait of many former patients of mine. I have employed this storytelling technique to offer you food for thought in concentra...

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Be You!

Trying to be authentic in this world can be hard. We feel pressured to conform…even by such simple questions as “How are you doing today?” – which we often answer with a pasted on smile and the word “Fine”. Some of us work in jobs we hate, fearful of what it would mean, what people would think, and how we would get by, if we changed careers. People in their 40′s and 50′s realize that they have much they still want to do, contemplate making changes, but don’t make them because they’re fearful that they will be seen as going through a “mid-life crisis” – a patronizing, and simplistic concept. Others are fearful to express their sexuality whether it is a same-sex attraction or a BDSM desire. And some present themselves as a gender that they know they really aren’t. Of course, the list goes on; I’m sure you could add your own ways in which you feel coerced into “fitting in.”

The pressure...

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Healing from the Inside

Many times we try to fix what is wrong on the inside from the outside. Whether it is our emotions, something physical or otherwise, we should always try to fix things from the inside first. A good analogy would be; if your car engine needed work, would you bring it to an auto body shop or a mechanic? It may seem like the solution is external but most all healing is really done from the inside. The mistake we often make is thinking the opposite. For example we think that if we change our external situation ie where we live or work or who we are married to, then our situation will change too. It may take some experience (wisdom of middle age I like to call it) but people change internally first-so changes on the outside always follow changes on the inside. Once our minds understand this concept then our actions automatically follow -of course hypnosis, reiki and eft help this! Want to make change in your life? Make sure to heal internally first!

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Own It

Own is defined as- Belonging to oneself

What does it mean to belong to oneself?

I randomly came across a documentary on Diana Vreeland. She was a powerful force in art, fashion, media, and overall American culture from the 1920’s until 1989 when she died. She was extremely innovative and powerful. She was never formally educated, was not “traditionally beautiful”, and didn’t have a remarkable amount of advantage or privilege in her life. Yet she is AMAZING. Watching footage of her was mesmerizing. She was a truth-teller, truly creative, and an ideal example of someone who “owned” herself.

In the 60’s she was associate editor for Vogue and made “embracing your flaws” a fashion statement. She took physical characteristics that are not considered ideal, decorated them, and celebrated them. Diana is a person who owned it. She owned herself, her life, her strengths, and her flaws. She was captivating to others because she embraced the...

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Home for the Holidays

Are you going to be 'home for the holidays?' Just remember-home is where the heart is! To me this means that home can be anywhere we choose as long as our hearts are in the right place. This can mean many things. First it means that "home" is wherever and whenever we choose it to be. It need not be our actual house, but instead is more of an "emotional" place that we go in our minds. What feels like 'home' in your life, and more importantly, do you go there often? According to Wikipedia, home is "generally a place that is close to the heart of the owner, and can become a prized possession." It is so important to recognize that the warm feelings that surround us this time of year have not so much to do with a building, but much more to do with a place in our minds and in our hearts. Happy Holidays to everyone!

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The Power of Choice

How many of us have said, “I need to, or I need this or I need that…?”

Many individuals “set themselves up” for failure by their thoughts and emotional patterns of “wants” and “can’t” versus “choices.”

Consider the following statements:

“I need to lose weight, but I can’t”

“I need to stop smoking but I can’t

“I need to stop drinking, but I can’t”

“I need money, but I can’t”

“I need a better job, but I can’t”

“I need to end my relationship, but I can’t”

“I need to end the abuse I receive, but I can’t”

“I need to find a career, but I can’t”

“I need to go back to school, but I can’t”

“I need to change my life, but I can’t”

“I need to get out of this rut I’m in, but I can’t”

There isn’t anything wrong ex...

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Dear Insecurity,

Insecurity comes from many different sources. Sometimes, we didn't get the necessary reassurance in formative years that help build a solid foundation to weather all the ups, downs, and unknowns that come with life. For some people, a significant event occurs resulting in dramatic distrust and hyper-vigilance in life, oneself, and distrust in others. This can look like trouble feeling confident, intense self-criticism, general anxiety, distrust in others, and always expecting the worst case scenario.

Below is one example of working with insecurity as something external from yourself. This is a technique known as Externalization. In this case it's a letter to the insecurity that you wish would go away. This is an example of acknowledging "what is" even if you don't like it at all. This technique can be helpful with any unwanted emotion or behavior.

Dear Insecurity,

Now that I'm able to separate myself from you a little bit......and when you rise up it doesn't completely engulf me, pa...

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The Struggle-NOT

Ever meet someone who just seems to wallow in their own self pity? Some people just seem to drown in their own misery-and sort of enjoy doing it! In rewality, our attitude is the "only card we have to play." Our attitude is controlled by our subconscious mind. So if we are choosing to be 'down,' then our subconscious mind must get some benefit from this. Or else we would not do it (habits work the same way btw). So those of us who choose to see life as a struggle can easily get stuck in this vicious cycle. The question is how do they get out of it? It is really easy. The first step is a conscious one-repeatedly Saying out loud what it is they want to make their life easy (aka not a struggle). The next step is utilizing healing therapies like EFT, Reiki and Hypnosis-the latter especially works on the subconscious thought process. And the last step is to open their mind to the possibility of happiness (this can take looking at things 180 degrees differently than you normally would). Soun...

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