Sex Therapy Category

Help Your Partner Meet Your Relationship Needs

Simone Bienne, Counselor/Therapist, Studio City, California, 91602

Do you get into arguments with your partner because you feel they don’t understand you when you tell them about a problem? May be, they try to fix your problem in the way they’d deal with it as if it was happening to them?

Without realizing, we often give what we need to receive ourselves.

So here’s a little experiment you can try the next time a misunderstanding comes up.

To really connect to your partner simply ask them – What do they need right now.

This shows them you genuinely care for them as an individual and respect their needs. This helps them feel loved, secure and safe.

Also it means on a more practical level, you’ll be able to give them what they need – whether that’s silence, or listening, or a foot rub it doesn’t matter…

So when your partner is in a tizzy over something – use these 6 words to decrease any misunderstandings and increase your relationship satisfaction – What Do You Need Right Now?

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What Really Happens in Sex Therapy?

Dr. Stephanie Buehler, Psychologist, Newport Beach, California, 92660

Frequently when someone calls for information, what they want to know most of all is, what happens in sex therapy?  They are reassured when they hear that sex therapy is like any other psychotherapy.  One of the most important parts of the relationship between the sex therapist and client is that everything is confidential (with some legal exceptions, like reporting child abuse).  That way, a client can be assured that whatever they disclose in therapy will not be told to anyone else, ever, without a release of information signed by them.

The process of sex therapy is also similar to other psychotherapy.  Sex therapy happens in stages.

Stage I:  Intake call.  In this brief exchange, the sex therapist listens to see if the client is someone they think they can help.  Sometimes, the therapist has too many of one type of client or isn't especially expert at what the person calls about.  Sometimes the client wants a therapist who offers a certain t...

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Act "As If"

Jennifer Sneeden, Therapist, Boca Raton, Florida, 33431

Remember when you first fell in love with your partner? That flood of emotions, the giddiness of just being next to each other? In each other's eyes, you could do no wrong. You enjoy the pure essence of one another, and overlook any flaws or imperfections.

This phenomenon is often called "rose-colored glasses". We marriage counselors call it "positive sentiment override". This term, coined by John Gottman, a leading marriage and relationship researcher, accounts for much of the happiness in a relationship.

When we experience positive sentiment override, we are filled with warm and loving feelings toward are partner. We are thrilled to be with them. We don't take their bad days personally. We don't blame them for our problems. We can laugh away their shortcomings.

Positive sentiment override is the foundation for loving, respectful, happy relationships.

But what happens when "you've lost that lovin' feeling?" Well, it all goes downhill. Or, to use an expression I fell in love with w...

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NME

Mr. Andrew Morris, Therapist, Newburyport, Massachusetts, 01950

Do you ever get down about things? Everyone does! The best solution is action. Do something! Anything! I especially like physical activity. I call it a natural mood enhancer (NME)-just ask my daughters who I'm always trying to get to move. The other day I vacuumed my entire house, very thoroughly, so I accomplished three things at once-I finished a chore, got exercise and improved my mood! The next time you feel down, try activity as your 'NME' and see how quickly, easily and naturally your mood improves.

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Cyber Sex Addiction May Be In Your Marriage.

Dr. Michael Rivest, Pastoral Counselor/Therapist, Winston Salem, North Carolina, 27103

Cyber Sex Addiction May Be In Your Marriage.

By M. Rivest Ph.D., D.S.T.

Board Certified: Sex Therapy & Counseling (UACCI)

www.MarriageCounseling.org

www.SexCounseolors.org

336 760 1780

“We argued that night. I went to bed early. He stayed up. Somewhere about 2AM I noticed he was not in bed. I roamed through the darkness of the house. I found him in his usual spot, his basement office. The blue green glow of the computer made him look diseased. He was looking at porno, again,” reports a counseling client.

The Internet has become the newest, most rapidly growing form of sexual acting out for many sex addicts. The internet fills a need for "more, easier and better." For the cybersex addict, increasing amounts of time are spent "surfing," downloading, creating files, masturbating, reading information posted on sexual bulletin boards, exchanging sexual information live with others in sexual chat rooms or via computer cameras, or directing their own live sex shows on i...

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It's Romance Awareness Month!

Jennifer Sneeden, Therapist, Boca Raton, Florida, 33431

August is 'Romance Awareness Month' and during this month, we should all take time to try and create more love and romance in our relationships, whether these are for singles or married couples. Of course we should do this all the time but August is especially dedicated as the time for us to re-energize and revitalize our relationships.

As part of a "Romance Awareness Month" campaign, I recently conducted a "Romance Awareness Survey" to discover what women find to be most romantic. And the findings might surprise you.

When many people speak of 'Romance', certain phrases and words jump into someone's mind automatically. What does the word really mean, or simply put, what does one have to do to be considered romantic? As many men will tell you, being romantic toward their women is not as easy as it first looks. It takes real dedication from the man to win the heart of the woman he loves and be considered romantic by her. Women generally appreciate certain acts from their men such as gi...

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How to Get the Most out of Marriage Counseling

Jennifer Sneeden, Therapist, Boca Raton, Florida, 33431

Maintaining a happy and healthy relationship can be hard work, and if it's lacking the proper balance it can affect both partners in a negative way. By using a technique known as Gottman's therapy, couples can seek a therapist that will give them a better shot at repairing any damage in their relationship. Certain areas of any marriage can create unneeded pressure and stress, but by identifying the couple's issues with what is known as Gottman's Perpetual Problems, you can begin to better understand what has been holding you back from complete happiness with your partner.

How Gottman's Perpetual Problems Relate To You

Gottman's Perpetual Problems are issues that may reappear over and over throughout the years during your relationship. Usually going unresolved, Gottman's Perpetual Problems are issues that can arise and haunt a relationship, usually due to each individual's personalities and traits. If there's a strong disagreement in any area of your lives, from something as serious a...

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Intimacy Disorder Explained

Roy Rawers, Therapist, San Diego, California, 92123

What is an Intimacy Disorder?

While you will not find Intimacy Disorders listed in the DSM-IV-TR, the American Psychiatric Association’s publication that is the standard in the mental health treatment community for categorizing mental disorders, it is a very common diagnosis with individuals and couples that come in to work on the quality of their relationship. Having read numerous books, attended dozens of hours of training and having worked with many couples affected by an intimacy disorder I have come up with my own definition.

An Intimacy Disorder is a personality style and/or adopted behavioral pattern that fails to support the progressive healthy deepening of an interpersonal relationship. Put more simply, having trouble getting or staying close to others. Intimacy Disorders can be categorized into four common forms: Sexual Anorexia, Love Avoidance, Love Addiction, and Sexual Addictions. Let’s briefly introduce each form, look at some common patterns, and learn what ...

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HOW TRAUMA SHAPES SEXUALITY

Roni Weisberg-Ross, Marriage and Family Therapist, Los Angeles, California, 90025

Why would a woman who was sexually abused as a child have rape and submission fantasies that sexually excite her as an adult? Why would another woman who suffered physical abuse as a child now enjoy role-playing dominant/submissive sex games? Why would a man raped or taunted by classmates as an adolescent now be unable to perform sexually or another man who was repeatedly berated by an emotionally abusive parent now not be able to approach women socially or sexually? These scenarios are not unusual; in fact, they are among the most common examples of how childhood trauma can shape adult sexual behavior.

Various studies (i.e. Wolfe, Gentile & Wolfe, 1989) have confirmed higher rates of Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) in sexually abused children. These survivors display re-experiencing symptoms, including intrusive thoughts and flashbacks and becoming involved in relationships that repeat the sexually abusive behavior they originally suffered. Additionally, it is estimated that “a...

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Soul Energy eXchange (S.E.X.)

Dr. Michael Picucci, Therapist, Manhattan, New York, 10003

Part 2: Source Energy Optimizes Life – Soul Energy Exchange (S.E.X.)

After 5 years of sobriety, in 1985, I began to notice a pattern in my sexual relationships: Even if I really liked someone, I couldn’t go more than 3 months before my attraction to them fizzled. I would then find some reason to end the relationship, although I never really understood why, and it made me feel bad. Thankfully, while I was leading a weekend retreat on Spirituality in Recovery, one participant pressed for bringing the subject of sex into the process.

Although I was unprepared, it gave me the opportunity to address the issue, and I shared my struggles with the group. When I asked if anyone else identified with the issue, all hands went up. I immediately felt a sense of relief, having previously thought I was uniquely flawed. And then I felt angry that no one had told me about this before, which launched my enthusiasm to shift the primary focus of my work. I began to create healing techniques ...

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