Shyness And Social Anxiety Category
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Many people seem to stress over their spending habits. It is important to note that money is only a tool-like a hammer, a scr...
Asked & Answered: Read Therapy Tips from the TherapyTribe Professional Therapist Community.
Have you ever wondered if you need therapy and how to select the "right" therapist for you? Or, what should you expect from...
One of the saddest rewards of greatness is an individual who will deliberately seek out your flaws, only to avoid someone dis...
Sometimes Not Happy But Loving
Lorna Hayim-BakerLicensed Clinical Social Worker When two people love each other is it true that they will always make each ...
Can Feeling Unloveable as a Child Be a Setup for Addiction?
In a summary published in ScienceDaily for March 20, 2014, researchers reported that persons who abuse alcohol and other drug...
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The Expert answers:
Cali Says: “When you go from behind the camera to the front, it changes your perspective and your comfort level. It is why coaches are great at coaching and not playing. Directors are good at giving orders and creating the product, not being onstage in the product. If you look at the video of Michael Bay above, in the beginning you can see he is nervous on that stage, in front of the camera. His aids probably told him to just read the words and you will be fine. Then the words, his safety net, were gone. Fight or flight kicked in and he fled. At The Addictions Coach and The Addictions Academy, we specialize in stress and anxiety. We can use behavioral modification techniques to assist in these events and others.”
Own is defined as- Belonging to oneself
What does it mean to belong to oneself?
I randomly came across a documentary on Diana Vreeland. She was a powerful force in art, fashion, media, and overall American culture from the 1920’s until 1989 when she died. She was extremely innovative and powerful. She was never formally educated, was not “traditionally beautiful”, and didn’t have a remarkable amount of advantage or privilege in her life. Yet she is AMAZING. Watching footage of her was mesmerizing. She was a truth-teller, truly creative, and an ideal example of someone who “owned” herself.
In the 60’s she was associate editor for Vogue and made “embracing your flaws” a fashion statement. She took physical characteristics that are not considered ideal, decorated them, and celebrated them. Diana is a person who owned it. She owned herself, her life, her strengths, and her flaws. She was captivating to others because she embraced the...
[From the Downtown Therapy blog]
A common issue many men face is that they often have few examples in their life of being vulnerable – and having that be ok (i.e. not criticized). By vulnerable, I mean sticking your neck out and opening yourself up emotionally to others, even if that means taking a risk of embarrassment or having what you share not accepted as readily as you would like. Risk. But not the sort of risk that men are traditionally expected to aspire to (you know, the testosterone-hued kinds we read about in magazines or see in films: climbing treacherous mountains, bare knuckle fighting in a basement). Vulnerability is a different sort of risk-taking. It means extending yourself outward, sometimes a little beyond your day-to-day comfort level.
Many men find themselves fighting against a dichotomy: the self-sufficient, emotionally stoic man vs. the weak, needy child. What kind of a choice is that? Sheesh. And yet, this perspective is prevalent and infused in...
(From the Downtown Therapy blog. Check it out to see more)
I found myself on vacation recently. My partner and I went to France. It was equal parts charming and idyllic. It was also curiously stressful.
You see, in Toronto – at the best of times – when I go out I will inevitably have a selection of personalities to encounter: the barista making my americano, the TTC operator at the front of the streetcar, the person operating the cash register at the local grocery store. Ideally, in this sequence of events, even if I’m not consciously aware of it, I’ll be seen, heard, and understood.
These are three very important things to experience in day-to-day life: it feels good to be recognized, to be listened to, and to feel that the person on the other side of our dealings-with acknowledges our existence. Sadly, this doesn’t always come to be. The barista may get my order wrong, the TTC operator might be a bit gruff, the person operating the cash might...
(From the Downtown Therapy blog. Check it out to see more)
I bumped into an old acquaintance the other day. We had both worked for a rather chaotic company years earlier. The so-called “survivors” met for dinner once a year to catch-up and share stories of our time in that company. He asked why I couldn’t attend the most recent dinner. I guessed that, because I’d changed my email address a while back, the invitations were being sent to an account that was no longer in service.
When I asked him how it went, he shrugged and smiled. He said: “Oh, you know, (x) is still high-strung. (y) is still gloomy. (z) still acts like everyone’s Mom.”
“People don’t change.” he said, shaking his head. It felt like a definitive statement for him.
We parted ways and his words echoed with me. After all, what’s my purpose as a therapist if that statement were true? I believe in change: I’ve experienced it myself and have seen it s...
How group therapy can help you improve with others:
Safety and comfort in commonality
Increased speed of healing breakthroughs
Support of othersInvolvement in positive change for others
Group counseling is a very powerful and effective way to engage in personal change. While some people are initially hesitant to share their struggles or concerns with a group of strangers, participants in group counseling soon understand that the group is intentionally set up so that all members of the group are accountable to being respectful and keeping all information confidential. This allows members to quickly become comfortable within the safety of the group, and therefore gain tremendous benefit from the support of not just a therapist but an entire group of people. Common benefits of group therapy include the speed with which breakthroughs and change can happen, the knowledge for each member that he/she is not alone in their struggles, the growth that comes from being able to receive support ...
You can feel great at time, even for long stretches, but then, often after a difficult encounter with someone, you feel sad or anxious. The sadness or anxiety is like background music, always there, though sometimes at a low level. Where most depressed people have insomnia, you LOVE sleep. Where most people with depression can't eat, you can't stop eating, especially carbs. And you struggle with your weight.
I call this "anxi-pression," or emotional eating. The clinical name for it is Atypical Depression. The full list of symptoms includes:
- Feelings of sadness, emptiness or feeling tearful
- Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities
- Increased appetite
- Unintentional weight gain
- Increased desire to sleep
- Heavy, leaden feeling in the arms and legs
- Sensitivity to rejection or criticism that interferes with your social life or job
- Fear of rejection that leads to avoiding relationships
- Having depression that temporarily lifts with good news or positive events but returns la...
It is so nice to connect with people. I try to make connections with people every day. It's so easy to do if you just smile and if you are always 'yourself.' This means treating people as you'd want to be treated. It's easy, It's fun and it's effective!
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