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5 Tips For Parenting Adolescents: Part 5
By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC In part four of the series, we discussed ways to balance between short and long term goals in our ...
Your Choices and Meditation
You go through life automatically, not feeling quite right but not knowing why. You go to a job you hate, come home, make din...
Catastrophizing - 5 Steps to Calming Calamity
Catastrophizing - 5 Steps to Calming Calamity (part 2)Suggestions to help limit catastrophizing and to alleviate self-destruc...
5 Tips For Parenting Adolescents: Part 4
By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC In part three of the series, we took on the difficult challenge of letting go of control. In this ...
Disappointment: How does it Happen?
What are some examples people have reported of experiences that led to feelings of ‘disappointment?” 1- a ...
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Characteristics of Anger Behavior:
- You don’t own or state your feelings directly—you slam doors, call people names, refuse to talk.
- You may use sarcasm to express your anger and frustration.
- You loose your temper and fly off the handle-have temper tantrums.
- You intimidate others so they react defensively to you.
- You insist on getting your own way.
- You blame others or complain, things are always someone else’s fault
- You hold grudges and vow to “get even
- You make statements like “you make m"e mad”
- You use explosive words and hand gestures
What is anger?
- relates to a violation of one's standards; either you or someone else has violated these standards
- sometimes these standards need to get re-evaluated
- Anger is a secondary emotion- first you feel fear of loss (love, control, your integrity) then hurt, then anger.
Psychological Payoffs / Secondary Gains
- Attention-getting behavior—people have to notice you
- You feel a sen...
By Matt W. Sandford, LMHC
Life inherently contains many stressful situations. When you have kids, you multiply the number of stressful situations by a lot, and when they reach adolescence, the number usually goes through the roof. Besides, parenting can be more even challenging if you actually want to do well at it! Meaning you are probably trying hard at it (you are reading an article on parenting after all). You are to be commended. In light of the Olympics, there should be a medal for parenting these days. (In actuality, there is the medal of children who become honorable, virtuous adults). I’d like to offer five broad stroke perspectives that I believe are relevant and helpful for maneuvering through the jungle that is raising adolescents successfully. And successful does not mean just to “survive” it, although it may often feel like that. I know you long for it to be more than just that, and I believe it can be. I’ve broken down the five points into a five...
Matt W. Sandford, LMHC
Everyone worries, but not everyone worries the same way. Everyone worries but not everyone is affected the same way. Some are more affected by events, or external issues or circumstances, some more so by negative thoughts, personal flaws, or wounds old and new. And when things happen in our world and in our community and in our personal lives the worries can pile up. My goal for this vignette is not to provide a way to eradicate all your anxieties, as wonderful as that sounds, for that would be aiming too high for a mere article. However, all of us can feel better if we can reduce the size or the intensity of the pile of worries. And that seems like a reachable and helpful goal.
1. Find a way to get at least some of those swirling thoughts out of your head. You know, the more that you ruminate on your anxieties that it doesn’t help. In fact, they grow, don’t they? They seem to take on a life of their own, as your mind finds ways to add to the possib...
Is stress causing your child to feel overwhelmed? Check out this review of Susan Kaiser Greenland’s The Mindful Child.
What is Mindfulness: Mindfulness can be described as paying attention to the moment. When I stop to take a break and become aware of my self, my thoughts, my feelings, and my surroundings, I am being mindful. Wikipedia describes mindfulness as a meditative practice that has gained worldwide popularity as a distinctive method to handle emotions. It is when we purposely bring awareness to our experience.
Mindfulness can help your family to not get too caught up in the past or future. It switches our attention to what’s happening in the present helping to reduce emotional reactions such as tantrums or panic. Learning mindfulness can help you or your child gain peacefulness and control as opposed to feeling stressed out.
Review of The Mindful Child: This book offers practical and applicable skills for parents to teach mindfulness to their children. It begins...
Join Rev. Tracy L. Cox, B. Msc., IMM for a healing and energizing meditation, designed to take advantange of the upcoming Summer Solstice. Rev. Tracy is a Ontario Wedding Officiant, as well as a Pastoral Counsellor. She is available for consultations in her Aurora office, or worldwide by phone. Please see her website at www.divineheartcentre.ca for more info, and may you be blessed, today and in the eternal moment of always.
When I talk to people about meditation or how to be “mindful,” I often hear “I can’t do it”, “its too difficult” or “I can’t focus long enough to do it right.” It is called a “practice” for a reason! You can’t expect to try it once and feel like it won’t work for you. It is something that involves lifelong practice and just like anything new, it gets easier the more you do it. The key is not to judge yourself when thoughts begin to filter in your mind. Recognize them and let them go. Gradually you will find that fewer and fewer thoughts enter your mind during meditation. The great part of meditation is there is a number of ways to engage with it. This increases your chances of finding a way that works for you. Guided visualization is the easiest way for beginners to start because you can put on your headphones, close your eyes and follow the imaginary journey given to you.
Another way is to...
Dr Pamela Brewer talks with Maryland Psychotherapist Rodney Orders about the impact of stress on relationships. Stress, particularly chronic stress, can be a powerful predictor of physical and mental health - learn more about this often overlooked experience that impacts the lives of so many.
Have you ever taken a yoga class? If so, then you are surely aware of one of the most basic poses – Child’s Pose. When taking this pose, you are folded over your knees, forehead of the ground and arms and hands either flat by your sides or stretched out in front of you. I understand it to be a resting pose – used when you need to take a break from the current flow of the class. You might be too tired, you might have noticed a pain somewhere in your body, you might simply not want to do the current pose that the rest of the class is doing. So you opt out and take Child’s Pose.
Child’s Pose is a legitimate asana – or body position. Every yoga teacher I know speaks of Child’s Pose as a fantastic option. They often will direct me and my other classmates to ‘take Child’s Pose.’ But they also point out that this position is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength, intuition, and self-care. Knowing when you’ve pushed yo...
Many times it is challenging to keep calm when life keeps throwing you curve balls. You make some plans and everything that could go wrong does. Your car doesn’t start, your boss yells at you for a late report, your kid is sick, you have to work overtime on a Friday, and so on. At times these small crises seem to happen all at once and it can be overwhelming. How do you stop and find your way back to a state of calm?
It is essential to remember that regardless of any outside circumstances, drama or family issues we may experience we all have a part of us that is a center of calm. It might be clouded by all the turmoil that is happening in our lives but it is always there, waiting for us to tap into it. It is waiting for us to come back to this state of peacefulness. On days like this, we need to stop and take a quiet moment alone if possible. This could be in the car, bathroom, your office wherever you can get a moment’s peace.
Close your eyes and for every inhalation tel...
We all have challenging moments in life that can sometimes bring us to our knees in writhe. Sometimes we dread having to make those difficult decisions when we are faced with challenging obstacles.
When you are stressed out, overwhelmed, being triggered by someone or something, having to make a difficult decisions, etc…it can feel scary, distressing, frustrating, irritating, or saddening. Obstacles were meant to be placed in our lives as a source of opportunity for self realization. I am sure you have heard the phrase “when opportunity knocks, answer” BUT what if that opportunity knocking at our door was something that we didn’t want? What if that opportunity was scary? What if that opportunity felt uncomfortable? We may sometimes only want opportunity when it is good, non-challenging, easy, and comforting. It is easier to answer the door when the opportunity doesn’t ruffle our britches!
How can we take challenges, obstacles, and roadblocks and begin to...
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