Find a Therapist
Share this Blog
Recently I wrote about shopping being a panacea for boredom. This I thought called for more musings on boredom. Is boredom a...
Establishing Healthy LGBT Relationships
There is a stereotype that LGBT persons don't desire long-term, meaningful relationships‑that we would rather experience an...
Counselling in the Community
When people ask me:” at what point shall I seek counseling?” I tell them: “if you feel like you are not as ...
The Molecular Weight of Secrets...
May 9, 2013 It is a beautiful Spring day in Portland, Oregon. I turn in my chair to look out the big skylight in my office. ...
Are You Procrastinating Again?
We all do it, we set goals, create actions to take, say we are going to do something but somewhere along the way we lose sigh...
How to Get Taken Seriously
I’ve noticed some trends among people who say, “I want to be taken seriously,” or ask, “How can I be taken seriously?” People who feel like they aren’t taken seriously typically:
Are people pleasers
Don’t hold firm boundaries
Are not consistent
Don’t speak up for themselves
Don’t ask for what they want and need (and sometimes are not aware of what they want and need)
The steps, then, to being taken seriously are to:
Take the time to think about and feel your wants and needs
Ask for what you want and need
Speak up and share your thoughts and opinions
Be consistent (easier when you are speaking your truth, using your values to guide you, and listening to what you want and need)
Draw boundaries according to what makes sense to you (Give yourself permission to say “no”)
And be OK with the fact that some people are going to naturally be attracted to your truth and some people aren’t.
A colleague of mine mentioned a “Rule of Thirds.” One-third of people will automatically like you, 1/3 will learn to like you, and 1/3 never will like you no matter what you do. No matter how hard we try, it seems, we just can’t please everyone. We can, however tune in to our truth: our voice, intuition, experience of the world, wants and needs. And when we do that and let that guide us, we are taken seriously.
Being taken seriously doesn’t mean not having fun and enjoying life! It means you are in tune with your truth and let it guide you, and you therefore are authentic and consistent, which doesn’t exclude being spontaneous and laughing!
If you think that your tendency to put your own wants and needs behind others is causing problems in your life or relationship, consider calling to schedule a counseling appointment. You can find a way to consider yourself while in relationship.
© Copyright 2013 by Emily R. Keller, therapist in San Antonio, Texas . All rights reserved.