Therapist Blog

Keeping your inner calm

Many times it is challenging to keep calm when life keeps throwing you curve balls. You make some plans and everything that could go wrong does. Your car doesn’t start, your boss yells at you for a late report, your kid is sick, you have to work overtime on a Friday, and so on. At times these small crises seem to happen all at once and it can be overwhelming. How do you stop and find your way back to a state of calm?

It is essential to remember that regardless of any outside circumstances, drama or family issues we may experience we all have a part of us that is a center of calm. It might be clouded by all the turmoil that is happening in our lives but it is always there, waiting for us to tap into it. It is waiting for us to come back to this state of peacefulness. On days like this, we need to stop and take a quiet moment alone if possible. This could be in the car, bathroom, your office wherever you can get a moment’s peace.

Close your eyes and for every inhalation tell yourself “breathe In calm” and for every exhalation tell yourself “breathe out tension.” Keep doing this for at least 20 breaths, more if you really are stressed out. You can change the words as well to breathing in peace, relaxation, and breathing out stress, worries, upsets. Just keep the inhales to positive states you want to generate and the exhales to negative states you want to release.  Just keep your mind in the moment. If other thoughts pop in, recognize them, don't judge yourself and let them go. 

Stay in the moment and notice how you feel after you focus on your breath. Your next step is to imagine that quiet place of peacefulness inside of you. With your eyes closed, what does total inner calm look like to you? Imagine yourself taking a step inside the place and immerse yourself in total calm. What colors and shapes do you see? What do you smell, taste and feel? Use all of your senses to get the full experience.  Maybe your inner calm is a quiet calming place like a beautiful garden or a flowing waterfall.  It is uniquely yours and there is no right or wrong place for you as long as it is calm. When you are ready, open your eyes and reassess what it felt like to be there. Remind yourself that inner calm is always there, ready for you to come back whenever life becomes too chaotic. Feeling your inner calm makes it so much easier to move on with the rest of your day.