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On Loss and Connection
First Posted SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2011
Bob’s Death; A New Threshold
Last week, my eldest brother, Bob, died after years of health challenges. We were never really close, though his daughter is my godchild and a cherished part of my life; my brother and I had opposite worldviews. I dreaded his forwarded emails that I politely asked him to stop sending. They came anyway; he was determined to save me.
At the time of Bob’s difficult passing I was reading Lynne McTaggart’s new book THE BOND that was highly recommended by my friends at the Institute for Noetic Sciences. In this groundbreaking book we discover scientifically that “the essential impulse of all life is a will to connect rather than a drive to compete. In fact, we are inescapably connected, hardwired to each other at our most fundamental level—from cells to whole societies.”
I was given words in THE BOND for a different perspective that has been shifting inside of me, casting a palpable energy beyond me. Bob’s death highlighted what the book refers to as “relativity awareness.” It grounded my own notion that competition as a fundamental human urge made no sense.
I have been writing about wholeness and what it means to us for decades. Yet, Lynne’s book catapulted me to a new threshold of envisioning it everywhere. I suddenly experienced my dying brother from his inside out, and all around. Our differences lost all significance and I felt a strong compassion, love and new connection with Bob that was real. It was a lovely gift to receive. And, it went out beyond Bob to every person alive. You could say that I am in awe, and it feels so full of new possibilities that I smile with gratitude for both Lynne and Bob.
As many of us are saying along with Lynne, “We sense that we have reached the end of something. The world as we knew it is going down.” The false view of us as separate is also going down, as we gradually emerge to the potential of a better future. Just as my differences with Bob were dissolved and replaced with compassion and connection, our new world-story can be seeing and giving from wholeness, or the Bond that is alive between us. It changes everything in a really good way.
The Bond energy, wholeness, or the creative source energy found in stillness is where to look for a new world. Check out my resource page if you want to hop on the ride.
Happy fall, Michael
© Copyright 2013 by Michael Picucci, therapist in Manhattan, New York. All rights reserved.