Therapist Blog

Refresh Your Relationship This Summer

Sometimes our relationships can become stagnant. It’s time to reignite the flame and restore the passion that you and your partner deserve.· Being social… look for healthy couples to hang out with. Summer is the time for BBQ’s, pool parties, camping, picnics in the park, and going to the beach. Socializing with other couples will bring about new adventures to add to your list.

Priority… make your partner feel special. Let them know that your relationship is at the top of your priority list. Brainstorm different ways that you can show them daily.

Communication… learn to be an effective communicator. Being a good communicator means being a good listener. Most couples listen with the intent to reply, instead, listen with the intent to understand.

Play nice… it’s not always going to be fun and games. There will be times that you and your partner don’t get along. Watch your tone. No name-calling, no degrading, and no blaming. Before you speak, ask yourself, “is this helping or hurting the relationship?” And, if you slip up, don’t forget to apologize.

Helping others... volunteering at a Church, soup kitchen, women’s shelter, animal shelter, Red Cross, or nursing home is a great way to give back to the community and will leave you and your partner with a sense of accomplishment.

Be spontaneous… routines are great; however, it can make a relationship feel monotonous. Break up the routine from time to time to make things more exciting.

Refresh Your Relationship This Summer

Respect and accept lovingly… learn to accept your partner for the things that you like and don’t like. Respect each other’s differences. Allow your partner to be themselves. If we mold our partner to be what we wish they were, then we only love the reflection of ourselves.

Take a time-out… everyone needs alone time. Take a personal day and enjoy being with yourself. Go for a walk, have a spa day, hit some balls on the golf course etc.

Surprises… they don’t have to be elaborate, just something to let your partner know that you are thinking of them. Maybe a card to let your partner know how much you appreciate them, a smiley face balloon to brighten a tough day at work, a bouquet of seasonal flowers, or a gourmet box of chocolates to share while watching a romantic movie. Surprises can also come in other forms –straightening up the garage or cleaning up the kitchen can be a great gift.

Intimacy… as a couple’s counselor, I hear more times than not that, “we just don’t have time” or, “we are so tired at the end of the day.” Intimacy not only means physical affection, it also means emotional affection. Take time to talk to your partner about your emotional and physical needs. Discuss how you can improve in these areas and follow-through. J

Household duties… make a list of what you are responsible for and what your partner is responsible for in the home. Is it equal? Evenly distributed chores could equal more intimacy. Remember how I said that I hear couples say, “I am just too tired at the end of the day.”J

Experience something new… with social media; there is so much exposure to new and exciting things. Visit Pinterest and see what excites you! Maybe redo a room together or learn how to make sushi this Friday night.J

Spending quality time together… Between work, household chores, and shuttling the children, it is sometimes hard to give each other undivided attention. Schedule some uninterrupted time for the two of you on the family calendar.


Regina Bright, MS, LMHC, BCST                                                                                             Licensed Mental Health Counselor                                                                                              Board Certified Sex Therapist