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Couples sometimes come to counselling hoping the other will change. I believe within couple, partners are meant to learn how to adapt and grow. When that is not happening, conflict or dissatisfied arises. The work of couple counselling is about finding a balance between meeting some of your partners needs for affection, emotional support, "togetherness" while also getting honest about what each is unwilling or unable to provide and finding alternates to these. Part of the objective of counselling is about taking ownership for yourself and you actions and finding ways to meet some of your own needs independent of your partner. How one goes about negotiating this is important. Often fear, guilt, anger, unresolved issues get in the way of the open dialogue required, in which case these have to be worked through before a couple can arrive at a resolution.
© Copyright 2013 by Angela Colangelo, therapist in Stouffville, Ontario. All rights reserved.