Couples Workshop Category
Find a Therapist
Black Friday Turns To Black Eye Friday
A dispute over a parking spot turned violent outside a Wal-Mart in Tazewell, Va. Two men were charged after the altercation. ...
Larry Kudlow Admits That He Still Struggles With Addiction After 18 Years Sober
A CNBC anchor, former Wall Street economist and Ronald Reagan adviser has told how he’s still struggling with his decad...
Tune In To Guest Speaker Cali Estes Discussing Stress And Addiction In The Business World
One Hour Of Time- Host Mary Woods www.voiceamericahealth.com Stress and Addiction in the Business World with Guest Cal...
Raising Natural Born Killers? Sheen Twin's Violent Behavior Due to Mom's Abuse of Drugs and Alcohol
Los Angeles, Nov 12 (IANS) Socialite Brooke Mueller has agreed to have her twins Bob and Max tested for "fetal alcohol and dr...
3 Tips For Holiday Stress Relief
The holidays are upon us, and stress and anxiety are in full swing. Attending parties, going to family gatherings, clea...
- August 2011
- September 2011
- October 2011
- November 2011
- December 2011
- January 2012
- February 2012
- March 2012
- April 2012
- May 2012
- June 2012
- July 2012
- August 2012
- September 2012
- October 2012
- November 2012
- December 2012
- January 2013
- February 2013
- March 2013
- April 2013
- May 2013
- June 2013
- July 2013
- August 2013
- September 2013
- October 2013
- November 2013
- December 2013
Aside from my wonderful family, therapy is my great love. Seriously, I can’t imagine myself doing anything else all day. (Though, I did really want to be a flight attendant for a long time; I would love all that travel.) So, when potential clients call me up to inquire about my services, I can barely contain myself. I want to tell you everything right away. I have books to offer and pointers to share. I want to explain how cool my new office is, and brag on the many folks who have turned their lives around through the hard work they have done in the therapy room. But mostly, folks aren’t ready to hear that yet. When they’re in distress, all they want to know is if I have any experience working with their particular brand of trouble. I think that’s reasonable, actually. I mean, why would you want to bring your heart and your relationship to someone who hasn’t got the foggiest idea where to start?
So, let’s get down to brass tacks, as my grandmama use...
“When you make another suffer, he will try to find relief by making you suffer more.” –Thich Nhat Hanh
Do you see that handsome devil over there to left? Yeah, I know, he looks a little like he might be able to kill you with his Jedi mind tricks. Shoot, if I was going to put my money on someone who actually does have Jedi mind tricks, it would be that guy. Let’s all be really still and back away slowly…
Just kidding. This is Thich Nhat Hanh. He is a Vietnamese buddhist monk who among other things, was nominated by Martin Luther King Jr. for a Nobel Peace prize for his work in non-violent civil disobedience. So, I think if anyone was going to know a few things about feeling justifiably upset and finding a constructive way to channel it, Thich Nhat Hanh wins.
I think often of my buddhist friend as I go into session with couples who are staging bloody rebellions within their own relationships. When the stakes are so high, the bitterness can grow exponenti...
Would you like to know a little-known secret revelation about couples therapy? Here it is: the first session is often the most helpful. That doesn’t mean that it’s all you can benefit from, or that a longer course of counseling wouldn’t yield even better results. Of course it would. However, I have noticed that for many folks, those first sessions are pretty profound.
Why is that, you ask?
* Triangulating another person into the relationship provides relief from gridlock
* Therapists can help clients begin to change the tenor of their conversations immediately
* Couples therapy gives each partner permission to change while saving face
* The main job of any couples therapist is to help clients inject kindness back into their lives
* Couples therapists offer resources (readings, exercises) that clients may not have discovered otherwise, and can complete outside of session
I think couples often deny themselves the benefits couples work provides because time and fi...
If there’s any one thing that I am extremely dedicated to doing when we first meet for couples therapy, it’s finding out how weird you are. I’ll just let that sink in, because I mean that in the most flattering of manners.
See, it’s like this–each relationship is similar to a thumbprint. Who you are together is different from who you would be alone, or who you would be with any other person you had chosen for yourself. Embedded in that conjoined uniqueness is the sweet spot for your relationship. And doggone it, I’m not going to stop until we find it, own it and honor it. You are in the process of writing a story together that doesn’t read like anyone else’s. I want to know more about it. Exploring each couple’s mythology and helping you reauthor disempowering narratives is my area of joy and expertise.
Couples often tell me that they like working with me because I’m irreverent. I can go with that, actually. But, part of the...
Couples therapists probably have an interesting view on what’s normal. We spend our lives as invited guests on the insides of other people’s relationships. Starting couples therapy is kind of like inviting someone over when you haven’t cleaned up your house and you’re still sitting around in your PJs. It’s your personal space–one in which you are at your most vulnerable–and you may not be all that happy with the state of it. But, as therapists our jobs are to help you take a look at the clutter, streamline and do a good spring cleaning. At our best, we help you find your own special brew of normal.
As I mentioned in my last blog, ‘normal’ is a relative term. Each relationship has its own balance point that is unique and special. So, in the case of this blog, what I really mean to say is, “is it common?” But frankly, “Is it Common” just didn’t sound as good as a title. So, we’re going with normal ...
Recently, I heard of a woman complain that she kept running into the same type of man. She went on saying that each time she goes out looking for the “right” type of man she is often disappointed that she only finds the ones that treat her poorly. Is this you? Do you seem to struggle with the same issue? Are you ready for a relationship that is worthy of your time and energy? Then it is time to stop this cycle and get into the relationships that you desire!
The truth is many of our relationships reflect how we feel internally. For example, if you often experience poor self esteem, you will find relationships where you need constant encouragement to feel good about yourself. Another example is that a person who struggles with insecurity will often chose a person who has a problem with being faithful and has several infidelity issues. The important point to remember is that for you to find the “good” relationship you seek, you may want to consider resol...
I use this analogy frequently after a client has said, "But I said I was sorry..." and then wonders why that changes nothing:
A little boy hit his sister. When she cried, he said, "I'm sorry." His sister kept crying, and he was adamant about his apology. His mother took a hammer and a nail and told her son to go to the back fence and hammer the nail into the fence. Then she instructed him to remove it. When he was finished, she pointed to the hole and said, "The nail is how you hurt your sister. You say you're sorry and pull the nail out, but the hole is still there."
Sex can be intimate; talking can be intimate. Talking can also be a lie. Sex can be a shield. For adults dating, often times if they haven’t had sex by the third date, then “something is wrong,” or, “it’s not going anywhere.” Because we give sex has a unique status in the continuum of actions we can take in our life, it is easy to assume intimacy where there really is none at all. In my practice, I often meet couples that have been married for a long time that are not intimate; sometimes they are having sex and sometimes they are not.
Intimacy is a mutual vulnerability; some crave being held close as if in a primal cradle while others like to be rocked as if released from the chains that bind that have always bound them. Sexual intimacy is animal and angelic at once, intuitive, yet studied. When one takes the time to be curious of the other’s particular desire and makes them vulnerable enough to try to please their partner (with no guarantee t...
Ever get stuck trying to solve something the same way over and over? No matter how hard you try it just doesn't work? In the immortal words of my grandmother, "every problem has a solution." If what you're doing isn't working, stop. It is time to rethink the solution in another format. This has happened to me twice recently. One issue involved a conflict with a business partner and one with my wife. The solution, as it turned out, was easy. The problem was not the message, but how it was delivered. Instead of face to face, I tried texting with the first person and e-mail with the second. Both issues have been fully resolved. All it really took was slowing down and rethinking the solution. This would make my grandmother happy because she used to say, "if something isn't working, try something else!"
I was walking with a friend of mine yesterday. We were having one of our usual deep conversations and I said to her that I was happy with my life and really wouldn't change too much. She said that she felt the same way but would only change one small thing: she wished that she was "independently wealthy!" I laughed and said "oh, just that one small thing?" That's like me wishing I was 6'4", blond haired and blue eyed! " (BTW I am 5'4" salt and pepper haired and brown eyed). After we both finished laughing I told her that if she was my client, I would steer her away from wishing for money. I told her it is better to wish for those things that money might bring like comfort, ease, joy, or a specific item like a car, than it is to wish for just money. I think it sunk in but if not, maybe her butler would be willing to listen!!
|Found 37 records:||Showing page 2 of 4 pages|