Find a Therapist
Share this Blog
- What are child or adolescent issues?
- What causes your child to wet the bed?
- How to deal with Teenagers?
- Teenagers who are struggling
- Ten tips for improving your relationship
- Ten tips for Improving communication with your teen
- Parenting struggling teens
- Establishing family rituals
- The good enough parent is good enough
- Games we play
- Teaching gratitude
Counselling in the Community
When people ask me:” at what point shall I seek counseling?” I tell them: “if you feel like you are not as ...
Establishing Healthy LGBT Relationships
There is a stereotype that LGBT persons don't desire long-term, meaningful relationships‑that we would rather experience an...
The Molecular Weight of Secrets...
May 9, 2013 It is a beautiful Spring day in Portland, Oregon. I turn in my chair to look out the big skylight in my office. ...
Are You Procrastinating Again?
We all do it, we set goals, create actions to take, say we are going to do something but somewhere along the way we lose sigh...
Anxiety Symptoms and Treatment
Anxiety Symptoms & Treatment It’s important to remember that when dealing with anxiety we first understand that it...
TEN TIPS for Improving Communication with Your Teen
TEN TIPS For improving Communication with your Teen
Talk with your teen about himself/herself, their interests, wishes, dreams, problems, and fears. Listen without interrupting. This will show your child, they can talk to you if they are in trouble which will open a door, many parents will find closed. This step is important to create an open space where they can start to feel comfortable to talk. Keep calm even when you are feeling emotional in response to your teen. Being calm will increase the trust of your teen. Begin and end your conversations with a positive comment or advice, this helps them see that you are on their side and gives them something to look forward to. So when you have a concern, they won’t feel on the defense. The key here is to helping them see you are not their enemy. Giving them something positive also helps them see they are capable and that you have faith in them. It may be difficult, but respect and hear your teen’s point of view. After hearing their side, you can tell them why he or she is wrong and why you feel that way. This will build respect between you. Remember that rules are there to protect your kids. They may test limits and try to break the rules, but they will learn that rules are important. The goal of rules is to teach respect and self-control so the rules need to be positive in nature. Explain your rules and make them clear and understandable. Positive discipline is about incentives so make rules that end up with rewards and privileges Instead of making your teen respect your rules because they are afraid of punishment, make them want to follow rules by hoping for the reward and keeping their privileges alive. Keep your word, so if there is need for taking away privileges or giving rewards, don’t delay it and forgive them quickly. They will respect your word if you do this. The rules of positive discipline reflect on respect and the only way for them to work is if you and your kids follow the same rules. The best way for kids to learn respect is by following an example that you set for your kids. Have fun with your kids. Even as your kids are getting older, they need to laugh and play. They will look forward to spending time with you and these moments will be in their memories forever.
© Copyright 2013 by Sara Markham, therapist in Westlake Village, California . All rights reserved.