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Your Most Important Relationship Is With Yourself
If you aren't happy, but know what makes you happy, you’re already halfway there. Your challenge is to figure out why you aren't doing the things that make you happy and start doing them. This could include an activity, spending time with others or having “me time.” If you can't figure out what makes you happy, you face a difficult, but not insurmountable, challenge.
Why Am I Unhappy?
Even when people don't know what makes them happy, they tend to know what is making them unhappy. There are usually one or two major life stressors to blame, but there are usually many sub-stressors that they might not even be aware of. It might be helpful to list all your stressors and spend the day being mindful of them. Which items on the list can you do something about? Focus on those.
Do I Deserve to Be Happy?
Why would anyone not want to be happy? They may be afraid of change, the unknown, or the possibility of failure. Sometimes the biggest obstacle is an underlying belief that one doesn't deserve to be happy. One believes that somehow she/he isn't worthy of having the good things that other people do. If this sounds like you, remind yourself that a part of you wants to be happy, even if it's clouded with self-doubt and anxiety.
You can overcome your fears. You can learn how to treat yourself with respect, and you can make radical changes that will improve the quality of your life, for the rest of your life. Not knowing how can give rise to feelings of frustration, hopelessness and helplessness.
Consider what has made you happy in the past. It could be an activity (playing sports, drawing), or being in a certain place with certain people. Whatever it was, make an effort to identify and re-engage in those behaviors. If there is something you always wanted try now is the time to do it.
For many people trying new things means going out of their comfort zone, which takes courage. But the payoff is worth it. You will feel better about yourself, improve your self-confidence, and feel more engaged in your own life.
When you improve your relationship with yourself, you will find that all your relationships will benefit.
If you are having problems with self-confidence, counseling can help. For more information, visit us at www.PrideCounseling.net
© Copyright 2013 by Douglas Chay, therapist in Ellicott City, Maryland. All rights reserved.