Good morning.

It may seem perfectly naturally, when you wake to put out a tweet or a post on Facebook to announce to your friends or the world how your week went. Sharing updates about yourself online is a quick and easy way to keep in touch with long distance friends. But in talking about yourself online, you can cross a line.  How do you know?

Now cyberbully and real-life bullying is prevalent among youth and quite a few adults struggle with a hostile work environment. Why do readers have to read gossip online?

Announcements or a posts about yourself, family or comments about someone or something can become offensive. Quick tips

  1. If you wouldn’t say it to the person’s face, why would you blast someone publicly online.
  2. Consider the readers or viewers. Your friend network may be large or small. But you will not be the only one reading your comments.
  3. What is your motivation for publicly saying something mean? Is it about you? Is it to protect you? Is it to vindicate you? Or are you simply venting?
  4. Consider the original intent for social media. Social media is a public form meant for entertainment, some public advocacy and maintaining long distance relationships. It isn’t a forum for promoting vitriolic speech.

If you like seeing yourself online, I invite you to think about why you value seeing you online. In the physical world how do you live a calm self-loving life? Do you chat on the phone? Or are you isolated? Do you have a job or participate in activities that allow you to interact with people? Or are you isolated?  Have you been deeply hurt by someone and now need to vent? Is it open mike on derisive speech to express your sadness?

These reflective questions may seem harsh. Saying harsh things or telling the truth isn’t being social. Furthermore you don’t have a veil of anonymity. Your words can lead back to you. Professional help may be helpful to provide you with the support to re-build your confidence and or to vent your feelings about something unpleasant.

Next time you get hurt, do defend yourself; but simply keep it private. Publicity doesn’t heal old wounds, it makes new ones.

Come talk to me.