Addiction creates a dynamic where we have to “reach” for something in order to feel ‘okay’.  Throughout my blogs, you will notice a trend – I love metaphors.  Let’s take a look at addiction as a wound that has never been treated.  Somewhere in our lives we decided that a bandaid would do the trick – when really we needed the wound cleaned and stitched by a professional.  The wound that goes left untreated festers.  The infection spreads throughout our body, and the pain is unbearable.  This sets us up for the “reach”.  
It doesn’t matter what your “band-aid” is (substances, sex, relationships) it provides instant relief from what feels unbearable.  Even if you aren’t in a place where you feel you can “stop” the behaviors, think about sitting in the waiting room for a few minutes before reaching. 
This is called widening our Window of Tolerance.  Increasing your ability to sit in the ‘unbearable’, and utilizing skills and self-awareness will broaden your window of tolerance, which is setting the foundation for recovery.  I highly recommend working with a therapist to help you heal your untreated wound.