Why You May Feel Insecure or Doubtful In Your Relationship?

Removing doubt and insecurity takes work and time. It is a process that requires discipline and a strong sense of generous self-love as you journey through the process. I want to encourage you to continue to give yourself kindness and self-love.

Doubt and insecurity can grow in your life for a number of reasons. The feelings that come with doubt and insecurity are uneasy and often cause difficulties in life. I want to share with you common reasons that you may experience doubt or insecurity in your life.


1. Personal relationship history

It’s important for us to explore our relationship history. Doing so gives you an understanding as to why you show up in your life as you do. For instance, if you have a history of relationships in which your cheater or your partner cheated. It is likely for you in the current relationship to experience thoughts connected to doubt and insecurity.

2. Control and insecurity.

A person may experience thoughts of doubt and insecurity in a relationship due to low self-esteem. One common thought includes, “is my partner may betray me”. This thought can be connected to self-esteem. This can take place when you feel less than or not good enough. Low self-esteem comes out and nudges you to think that your partner is being unfaithful because how could they want to be with you. Again, in this case, you see yourself as unworthy.

3. Red flags.

In relationships, there are red and green flags. Red means positive or healthy and bad unhealthy or negative. A common green flag is a relationship that is open to respect and admiration. A red flag is a relationship that has no space for vulnerability or accountability.

Common green flags include:

  • Willingness to be vulnerable.
  • Ability to take responsibility for personal actions.
  • Smooth startup for the relationship.
  • Strong support system.


Common red flags include:

  • Defensiveness
  • Judgmental
  • Shutting down
  • Avoiding confrontation


Let’s use an example for clarity.

You start the relationship with a red flag. The red flag is that your partner criticizes you for being vulnerable. Each time that you try to share your thoughts and feelings, you are attacked and judged. You start to feel insecure in your relationship because you are not receiving support and validation.

Having the red flag can overtime increase doubt in the relationship.

If you are searching for a counselor that can help with doubt and insecurity, I want ot encourage you to reach out today.

I offer a 15-minute free consultation.

Are you ready to start counseling?

Call the counseling office at 336-663-6570 or email [email protected].


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