Parents with challenging kids generally have no need of conventional therapy. Instead, they need only to better understand that kids think, feel, and behave very differently from adults. In a very short time, parents who learn how best to encourage good behavior and discourage bad behavior see remarkable and lasting changes in their kids' behavior. One simple lesson is among the most powerful: Praise, gratitude and reward for good behavior work wonders, but punishment is neither needed nor helpful. Kids learn just two lessons from punishment. First, they learn to be angry and resentful of whomever punished them. Second, they learn to be more and more clever and sneaky, so that they can continue misbehaving without getting caught. Parents who learn these simple effects of reward and punishment see almost immediate positive changes in their kids' behavior. These changes make kids happier, and dramatically lower the risks of drug use, teen pregnancy, poor grades, and early-morning calls from kids in jail.