How to Choose the Right Therapist

By Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Author

Updated November 4, 2026 · 10 min read

Any psychotherapist you choose must be appropriately trained and certified in the problem areas you seek. However, it's equally important that the relationship is a good fit and that you choose someone that you connect with and trust. Successful therapy relies on this dynamic. Finding the right therapist often requires trial and error. Consults serve as a meet-and-greet with potential therapists. This guide walks you through how to find the right therapist, step by step: how to check credentials and cost, what to ask in a consultation, which type of therapist fits your needs and which red flags to watch for.

Comparing a few therapists side by side can help you find the one who fits.

In this article: Steps to Choosing What to Ask Types of Therapists

Why the Right Fit Matters

The therapeutic relationship is an essential aspect of why therapy works, and relies heavily on a match between therapist and client. Research backs this up: a large meta-analysis found that a stronger working alliance between client and therapist goes with better results across many types of therapy (Flückiger et al., 2018), and an American Psychological Association task force concluded that relationship factors matter at least as much as the treatment method (DeAngelis, 2019). That is why fit deserves as much attention as credentials. To learn more about the process itself, read how psychotherapy works.

How to choose the right therapist for you?

When choosing a therapist, there are several things to consider. First, look for a therapist who is licensed in your state and trained in the problems you are dealing with. Licensed counselors, marriage and family therapists and clinical social workers hold at least a master’s degree, psychologists usually hold a doctoral degree (PhD or PsyD), and all must be licensed by the state where they practice (American Psychological Association [APA], 2023; Mayo Clinic Staff, 2023). If you choose a coach or certified practitioner, ask about their certification and what it covers.

However, finding the right therapist is not just a matter of schooling, but of personal preferences too. Therapy and therapists are not one-size-fits-all, and a good fit between therapist and client is very important. It often takes some trial and error to find the right therapist for you.

Step 1: Research

The first step to finding a psychotherapist is research. Whether this research is a Google search, through personal connections, or both, is up to you. If you choose the former route, help narrow your search by selecting specific keywords. “Psychotherapist near me” or “psychotherapist in New York” narrows the type of therapist and location, creating a much shorter list of names and practices. Using a therapist directory like TherapyTribe can simplify the process, since you can search by location, specialty and what you want help with. The latter route involves asking your friends and family. This works best if you know someone who has been in therapy or is in therapy now. It also widens your reach as they can join you in the search. If neither yields the expected results, consider visiting your local mental health center or talking to your primary doctor for recommendations. Not sure what kind of professional you need? See the different types of therapists below.

Step 2: Set a Budget and Check Your Insurance

Take some time to explore the cost of therapy. Are you expecting to use insurance or self-pay? Setting a budget will help narrow your list of candidates. It’s important to set a price range or budget you can comfortably work with. Therapy works best when you can keep going, so choose a cost you can sustain for several months.

How Do I Find a Therapist Covered by My Insurance?

If you plan to use insurance, start with your plan:

Check your plan’s list: Call the member services number on your insurance card or search your insurer’s online directory of in-network mental health providers. Then confirm with the therapist’s office that they take your plan.
Ask about your benefits: Find out your copay or coinsurance, your deductible, how many sessions are covered and whether you need a referral (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2023).
Ask about out-of-network options: Some therapists don’t take insurance but can give you a receipt (often called a superbill) to submit for partial reimbursement if your plan has out-of-network benefits.
Look at lower-cost options: Many employers offer a few free counseling sessions through an employee assistance program (EAP). Some therapists offer sliding-scale fees, and community mental health centers and university training clinics often cost less.

Step 3: Schedule a Consultation

Once you have a short list, it’s time to reach out and set up a first appointment or consultation. Consults will serve as a meet and greet for you and your potential therapist to see if the approach and general atmosphere of their office and personality are compatible with yours. Many therapists offer a short, free phone or video consultation for this. Remember: just because you set an appointment does not mean that you are under any obligation to continue treatment. Your level of comfort, safety, and, eventually, trust is crucial to your growth. If you choose a therapist you don’t feel comfortable around, that limits your confidence in them, stifles the flow of dialogue, and ultimately affects your treatment.

Step 4: Be Open-Minded

It’s essential to think outside of the box. Contrary to popular belief, not all therapists in private practice make you recline in a chaise lounge and talk about your childhood. Although it may be important to reflect on your past, many misconceptions about therapists may unknowingly narrow the scope of your search. There are many different formats and types of therapy. Many practicing psychologists work in institutions like primary schools, colleges, universities, hospitals, medical centers, or rehabilitation clinics. Online therapy can also widen your options, as long as the therapist is licensed in the state where you live.

Questions to Ask Yourself

When it comes time to finally make a selection, here are a few questions you should ask yourself:

What are my main goals for therapy? What do I want to accomplish?
Is it covered by my health insurance or work benefits?
If not, how much can I spend?
How far am I willing to commute? Am I comfortable with online therapy?
Should I attend sessions with my spouse, significant other, or family?
Would I feel more comfortable with a therapist who shares or understands parts of my background, such as my culture, faith, gender or sexual orientation?

What Should I Ask a Therapist in a Consultation?

Before or during a consultation, it helps to have a list of questions ready:

First and foremost: are they accepting new clients?
Are they licensed in your state, or what certification do they hold? You can confirm a license on your state licensing board’s website.
What is their approach to assessment, diagnosis, and treatment?
How many years of experience do they have?
What are their areas of expertise?
Do they have the ability to prescribe medication? Do they work with a psychiatrist who can?
Have they worked with clients with concerns like yours?
What are their sessions like?
What are their fees and policies (for example, cancellations), and do they take your insurance?
How will you set goals together and check whether therapy is helping?
If faith matters to you, how do they handle religion or spirituality in sessions? (Some people look specifically for Christian counseling.)

After a consultation, notice how you felt. Feeling heard, comfortable and a little hopeful are good signs. Once you start, read how to get the most out of your first sessions.

What Are the Different Types of Therapists?

Licensed therapists fall into three broad groups, and some people also work with a coach or certified practitioner. Which one fits depends on what you want help with and whether you might need medication (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2023):

Licensed counselor (LPC or LMHC), marriage and family therapist (LMFT) or clinical social worker (LCSW): A good starting point for most concerns, such as stress, anxiety, depression, grief, life changes and relationship problems. An LMFT is a natural fit for couples or family issues. These therapists provide talk therapy and do not prescribe medication.
Psychologist (PhD or PsyD): Provides therapy and can also do psychological testing, which helps if you want an assessment (for example, for ADHD or a learning disability) or your concerns are complex. Psychologists generally do not prescribe medication.
Psychiatrist (MD or DO): A medical doctor who diagnoses mental health conditions and prescribes and manages medication. Consider a psychiatrist, or start with your primary care doctor, if your symptoms are severe or you think medication may help. Many people see a psychiatrist for medication and a therapist for regular sessions.
Coach or certified practitioner (for example, life coach, hypnotherapist or somatic practitioner): Can help with goals, life transitions, stress, habits or relaxation. These practitioners usually hold a certification rather than a state license, and training standards vary, so ask where they trained and what their certification requires. Most are not licensed to diagnose or treat mental health conditions. If you are dealing with depression, anxiety, trauma or another mental health concern, start with a licensed therapist, or ask whether the practitioner works alongside one.

Within each group, training and experience with your specific concern often matter more than the title. Some licensed therapists also use somatic or hypnosis-based methods, so check the license as well as the approach. For what each title means, see psychotherapist vs. psychologist on What Is Psychotherapy?

When to Look for a Different Therapist

Most therapists are caring professionals who work hard to help. Still, not every therapist is a good match, and a few red flags suggest it may be time to look elsewhere:

You can’t confirm their license or certification: They aren’t sure where they’re licensed or certified, or you can’t find them on your state board’s website.
There’s no sense of direction: After several sessions, you still haven’t talked about goals or a plan.
You don’t feel heard: Your feelings are brushed aside or judged, sessions focus more on the therapist than on you, or they push their own beliefs.
The relationship feels unclear: Therapy works best when it stays professional, so a therapist shouldn’t overshare about their personal life or suggest friendship, social plans or business deals.
You feel pressured: Questions, second opinions or taking a break are discouraged.
Privacy feels loose: They share details about other clients that could identify them.

If you have concerns, it’s OK to raise them, stop seeing that therapist or contact your state licensing board.

What If the First Therapist Isn’t the Right Fit?

It is normal to try more than one therapist. If, after a few sessions, you still don’t feel understood or comfortable, tell your therapist. A good therapist welcomes that feedback and can change the approach or refer you to someone else. Switching therapists is not failing at therapy.

When to Consider Therapy?

It is important to note that going to therapy does not mean you are weak or that you are giving up. It takes courage to ask for help, and you don’t need to be in crisis to benefit. If you are not sure whether it’s time, read about signs you may need therapy in Do I Need Therapy?

If you are in crisis: If you are thinking about suicide or about harming yourself or someone else, don’t wait to find the right therapist. Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.), or call 911 in an emergency. See more crisis helplines.

Ready to find your therapist? Get Matched by answering a few questions about what you need, or search the TherapyTribe therapist directory to filter thousands of mental health professionals by specialty, location, treatment approach and more.

This article is for general information only and is not a substitute for advice from a licensed mental health professional.

References

American Psychological Association. (2023, December 12). Understanding psychotherapy and how it works. https://www.apa.org/topics/psychotherapy/understanding

DeAngelis, T. (2019, November 1). Better relationships with patients lead to better outcomes. Monitor on Psychology, 50(10). https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships

Flückiger, C., Del Re, A. C., Wampold, B. E., & Horvath, A. O. (2018). The alliance in adult psychotherapy: A meta-analytic synthesis. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 316–340. https://doi.org/10.1037/pst0000172

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2023, April 14). Mental health providers: Tips on finding one. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health-providers/art-20045530