Ms. Lorna Hayim-Baker, "R"LCSW

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

My goal as a therapist is to create a warm, supportive, genuine and safe environment where you alone or with your significant other feel comfortable sharing with me your negative repetitive pattern that prevents you from from sailing through your relationship more smoothly. I want to help you to reinvent your marriage or long term relationship so that your lives intersect in the same space so I can get the opportunity to teach you how to respect each other's differences and teach you how you can agree to disagree and yet you are still able to say "I love you." I can help you both to come up with a common love language when you are home and happy or not so happy; and I can also teach you another love language that works well publicly. One works well in the bedroom and the other works well in front of strangers. All couples must develop love languages that work well privately and publicly. I want your relationship to maintain the love that brought you together in the first place. You may wonder why your love is not consistent, and you may notice that the respect you once had for one another has dissipated and the personal meaning once attached to your relationship is no longer there.. Most couples in your situation have what I refer to as their own "dance of anger" that happens again and again and again. By this, I mean couples fight about different issues but the way that they fight takes on a repetitive negative pattern and that pattern is their way of expressing anger and/or rage, regardless of the argument at hand. I refer to the way that most couples argue and fight as their "dance of anger". Remember, you can't change your partner and that is why you need professional advice. I can be your "go to person" who can teach you how to effectively communicate when you once again have disagreements that can be a threat to the survival of your relationship. I only accept accept couples who really want to preserve their relationship and can tell me that they are willing to put in the hard work, because married monogamous relationships are difficult to sustain, but by taking your marriage vows seriously, you both signed up for a loving partnership for a lifetime. Taking your vows and dancing at your wedding is just not enough because everyone's life is difficult. Life is more like "a bowl of cherries" and despite the succulent juice from the cherries, you will still have to deal with "the pits." We can't always dance through our problems. Despite making yourselves an expensive wedding or having gone to the court to take your vows,-what all married couples dwell on is trust. Is one person feeling like they don't trust the other or both feel the same way when it comes to trust, then pick up your phone to call Lorna Hayim-Baker at Riverdale Therapy & Counseling Services. I offer a free phone consultation before accepting new couples. I tell the truth when I counsel couples, and therefore, I vet each couple before I agree to meet with them in an "in person session" to avoid sessions where one partner or both can blow up my session because their personality does not mesh well with mine. My heart goes out to everyone who is about to experience "a bad breakup" or "a disastrous divorce.". I go many extra miles for each and every couple who comes into my office. I try to understand their shared stories and having a shared story is a lot easier to problem solve because they are in sync; but more often than not, I have to hear out each partner because they each have different stories to tell. I decipher their own personal stories because, in reality, there are two different versions of the same presenting problem and then their is the third version which is the most realistic story. It is only fair to hear each partner's voice as they often come to session offering their own point of view, but if one pays close attention, it often seems like there are 2-3 different problems; but in reality, there are two different sides about he same problem and sometimes even a third side that the therapist discovers and is being presented by each person. All three stories are different versions of the same problem. All sides are carefully listened to and It takes time to hear each person's interpretation of the same arguments. All stories are aired and I do my best to come up with possible solutions by providing lots of feedback. Couples can disagree with me about possible solutions that are offered. I have become very attuned to my couples because I have been doing this type of therapy for a very long time. I listen carefully to their presenting problems before providing feedback. I am not always right but I am pretty intuitive at this point in my career. Someone must try to understand the couple who came in to preserve their relationship and the hope is that I, as their therapist will remain neutral and unbiased in order to shed light on why the couples are not hearing each other as they each struggle to voice their complaints. More often than not, one or both partners become very defensive and neither one is listening to the other and their fight escalates. That's why they need an unbiased and caring therapist to intervene and help the couple deescalate by having them share the details of the original complaint that turned into a communication breakdown. Couples begin fighting right in front of me & my job is to stop their dispute and call a halt to their bickering so we can examine why their communication pattern broke down in the first place. Both partners are acting out and becoming nasty and defensive. Each partner had the same wish, which was to have their voice heard as he or she expresses their own complaint. I need to point out when their wheels are spinning but they are getting nowhere and they are in fact, stuck. Couples need to stop and listen to each other so I can help them come up with a plan that can get them "unstuck." To be an effective couples' counselor means that at the end of the session, the couple walks out with a sense of having a shared understanding of their problems and with a shared sense of hope because they learned how to tackle the types of ineffective communications that lead to "blow out fights" Hopefully, I will be your therapist who teaches you how to not add fuel to the fire. I want to be part of the solution and teach couples how to stop turning molehills into mountains. I am the therapist who loves watching love as it grows and makes both partners seem so much more mature.

Client Focus

Session Format: Couple, Individual

Age Specialty: Adolescents, Adults, Elders, Young Adults

Demographic Specialty: African American, Asian American, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Latino American

Treatment Approach: Biopsychosocial, Cognitive/Cognitive-Behavioral, Compassion Focus Therapy, Eclectic, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, Internal Family Systems, Interpersonal, Object Relations, Person-Centered, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy

Approach Description: My approach to therapy is all about you. I tailor the type of therapy I use to your needs, objectives and goals. While some people are candidates for Solution Focused Therapy (8-12 sessions); others clearly are not and need a combination of therapies. My couples/marriage family sessions take anywhere between 2-6 hours virtually. Individual session last between 60-90 minutes

Ms. Lorna Hayim-Baker Practice Details

License #: "R"080097

License State: New York

Therapist(s) Gender: Female

Practicing Since: 2006

Company: Riverdal Therapy & Counseling Services

Education: Adelphi University:Received MSW, LSW and LCSW *Special Award for Outstanding Services at Port Counseling Services (Substance Abuse agency) located in Port Washington, New York *New credential in early childhood development and Parenting 2012

Average Session Fee: $100-$150 for a sixty to 90 minute individual therapy (I slide fee for certain insurances) . Couples/marriage/family therapy is billed out by the hour. There is a 2 hour minimum:$250 and the third hour is an extra $100 and the 4th, 5th and 6th hours are billed out for $75.00 each hour. There is a minimum of two hours and I lower my prices for those living in the Bronx, Yonkers, White Plains. My Manhattan prices are higher because my rent is so much higher. Right now both offices are temporarily closed and I do everything virtuall until we all feel safe from Covid. I explain the fee during my phone consult. I never realized how great virtual sessions could be. Prior to Covid, I refudsed to do virtual sessions. I underestimated myself and my patients. Couples therapy is $100.00 for the first 3 hours. Prior to Covid I charged & $250.00 for the first two hours and the third, 4th , 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th was also biled out at $100.00 an hour. I reduced the fee due to Covid and all three hours are billed out at $100 per hour and after the third hour the fee is reduced to $50.000.

Accepts Insurance: No

Insurance Details: I help people who have a copay with their insurance carrier and slide my scale for certain insurances. Marriage/couples/family not covered by any insurance because it is over two hours.r

Offers Affordable/Sliding Scale Therapy: Yes

Affordable/Sliding Scale Therapy Details: I slide the fee for individual therapy and we base it on the type of copay they have. If they do not want to pay anything out of pocket then we are not a good match.

My approach to therapy is direct. This means that I frequently give feedback and suggestions. My approach is a good fit if you are looking for someone who can help you focus on priorities, get you unstuck by overcoming the issues that are keeping you from thriving in your intimate relationship. I believe that learning about your past is important in order to gain insight into your present expression of anger. I examine both partners' pattern of anger and I collect their background information to help me decipher why each partner still has underlying anger and/or repressed rage. I often find that one or both partners were exposed to past traumas when I explore their past. In therapy, I focus on the here and now so that you can make your tomorrow a bit better; but I can also point out why your past is tripping you up in your present life. When you work with me, you should expect someone who will help you not only set goals for yourself, but will also teach you how to turn your goals into a reality. Expect quicker results because my sessions are longer than most. I never book back to back so a sixty minute session can actually become a ninety minute session for individual clients. All couples and family sessions are referred to as "A Marathon" because I work with couples in what I refer to as "My Marriage Marathon" and when working with engaged couples, I refer to their therapy as "My Premarital Marathon" and "My Marathon for Committed Couples" are for unmarried couples. My marathon sessions take anywhere between 2-6 hours & there is a two hour minimum. We continue until we all feel the session has been completed. Couples only pay for the hours they use.

My area of expertise include premarital/couples/family therapy/substance abuse therapy along with individuals treatment for patients suffering from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, mood & personality disorders. I am also an expert in "Early Childhood Development & Effective Parenting" so I give advice to parents who are having a hard time dealing with children who have a difficult temperament. I also teach couples how to be romantic and how to achieve "true intimacy" on an emotional and physical level. Last but not least, I help people realize that they have "S.U.D." Best treatments available are discussed and a big piece is edu I give a free 5-10 minute free phone consultation before accepting new couples and/or new patients. I can tell who I can help and who I can not. I only accept new couples and clients if I feel their personality will mesh well with mine.
I tell the truth from my perspective and it may be a bit too blunt for everyone.

For Couples/marriage/ premarital/ and family sessions, they are never less than 2 hours. After listening to your reasons for seeking out therapy at this time and me asking you some relevant questions, I will decide whether or not I am the right therapist for you. I never know how many hours to block off for a couples, marriage, family session, but I block out six hours for a marathon session. I have to keep to my word but I allow the couple to decide when to stop the session after they completed the two hour minimum. I only conduct "in person sessions" and due to Covid, I distance the couple six feet away from me. I offer everyone a free phone consultation to explain all the details and what we cover during a marathon session. All questions are welcomed when you call for your free phone consultation. Premarital, Marriage Counseling, Couples Counseling is not covered by any insurance company. My prices are more than fair. I also help people who come to me individually with insurances that require a copay. We can usually come to an agreement on their fee. For people on Medicaid or others who have no copay,I give them my student fee and if they are not willing to pay something out of pocket, then I am not the best choice. I still offer a free consultation to everyone who calls me. My therapy is more like taking a college course on: "How to improve emotional and physical intimacy in a marriage that is not fulfilling." I teach you both skills and techniques so that you can avoid a difficult divorce and/or an ugly breakup. I can teach you how to divorce the bad parts of your relationship/marriage but not each other. I teach you how to create an emotional bank account and help both of you to develop a fulfilling relationship where you want to welcome one another at the end of your day with a loving embrace and a 6 second kiss without faking it. I can teach you all of this and much m ore if you come to 'My Marriage Marathon or any other marathon session.

I put as much effort into my individual patients as I do with my marathon sessions. The time allotted is much less and most insurance companies cover a 45-60 minute session. I do not take insurance and my individual therapy is always sixty minutes and because I never book back to back, individual patients can also stay for a ninety minute session.

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