JAMES COLVIN

My holistic approach to therapy has broadened and deepened over my many years of practice. I am trained in pastoral psychotherapy and utilize concepts from Internal Family Systems, Carl Jung and the world of reiki and energy. I really like Richard Schwartz's theme of No Bad Parts that encourages us to look at both the motives (always good) and the methods(not always helpful) of our internal parts. The key to being able to heal and grow is accessing our Self--our spark of the Divine which can be in charge of our life. That in turn builds our capacity for courage, confidence and compassion. The way therapy with me works for individuals is first to encourage increasing selfawareness of any difficulties or blocks in your life that seem to get in your way. Special attention goes to repeated patterns. The next broad step is to dig in and begin to see the origin of any struggles and to start the repair process, usually healing childhood wounds. The good news is that as we heal these wounds, a lot of that wonderful childhood exuberance can return, no matter what our age. When clients fell stuck I encourage them to listen to body signals such as tension in the shoulders, a tight jaw, sore stomach and the like. These indicate energetic blocks that I help them release by self touch, some concepts from reiki or other energy systems. If someone is having continued difficulty locating the sources of these blocks, my "secret weapon" metaphorically is my colleague Donna Murray, who has marvelous ability to discern the origin of emotional and physical pain. One or two sessions with her can uncover much that needs healing in therapy and provides useful signposts to advance our work. As far as couple work goes all the above can apply to helping couples reconnect with each other while at the same time learning how to connect with themself internally. The process is synergistic--greater selfawareness enhances the relationship and deeper connection enhances each person in the couple. While I agree with John Gottman that not every conflict a couple has can be resolved, the relationship can still be greatly improved as there are more positive experiences and the couple's capacity for compassion increases. The term i use is Reserve of Well-Being. When this reserve is large much conflict can be absorbed, just like having sufficient muscle and fat on our frame can absorb blows. So I encourage couples to cultivate this reserve on a daily basis--not just having a big vacation, but also doing kind, pleasureable things for one another and together. While there are endless ways to build the Reserve one nice approach is to play "Three Things I Love About You Today". For example,"You squeezed my shoulder as you left for work.", "You made sure our son got off on his field trip," and "You cooked a tasty supper." Seemingly little things become large when noticed and acknowledged. To be sure couple work also involves digging deep to see what patterns were learned in the family of origin and what need changing. This work is made easier when couples by and large create lives that are fun. Whatever the various approaches and modalities, what determines the best outcomes in therapy is the relationship between therapist and client. Since I have been on the receiving end with a number of excellent therapists, clinical supervisors and quality colleagues, I am able to offer a connection that enables clients to feel both safe and seen. That is something that has to be experienced. It is the bedrock of connection that creates a space where clients can grow and be empowered. To me that is something sacred and to be protected and nurtured. Furthermore, the reason that relationship is the key to healing is that from birth we come to know ourselves from the encouraging interactions with our parents and caregivers. Being seen and having our feelings back creates a petri dish for growth and selfesteem. Engendering this atmosphere of care and safety is nothing that AI can do.