Most couples who reach out to me have already tried talking it through, sometimes for years, and they're worn out from having the same fight in slightly different words. I work differently. Drawing on PACT, Somatic Experiencing, and EMDR, I help partners notice what's happening in their bodies and nervous systems when things go sideways, so change sticks where insight alone hasn't. I work with betrayal, gridlocked conflict, intimacy struggles, blended families, and couples preparing for marriage. If you're ready for something more than communication tips, I'd be glad to hear from you.
Client Focus
Session Format: Couple, Individual sessions.
Age Specialty: Adult, Senior, Young Adult
Demographic Expertise: LGBTQ+ clients.
Languages: English
Treatment Approach
- Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) Helps people accept difficult thoughts and feelings instead of fighting them, while committing to actions that reflect their values. It blends mindfulness with practical behavior strategies.
- Biopsychosocial Therapy Takes into account biological, psychological, and social factors in understanding mental health. It looks at the whole person, not just symptoms.
- Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) Builds skills in self-kindness and compassion toward others. It is especially helpful for people who struggle with shame or self-criticism.
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Focuses on strengthening emotional bonds in couples or families. It helps people identify negative cycles and create more secure connections.
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) A structured therapy that uses guided eye movements to help process traumatic memories. It is widely recognized for treating PTSD and trauma-related conditions.
- Gottman Method Couples Therapy Based on decades of research, this method gives couples tools to improve communication, manage conflict, and strengthen intimacy.
- Internal Family Systems (IFS) Helps clients heal by working with different ‘parts’ of themselves, like inner critics or wounded children. It fosters harmony within the self.
- Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) Combines mindfulness practices with CBT to prevent depression relapse. It helps people notice thoughts without judgment and respond more calmly.
- Motivational Interviewing (MI) A collaborative, client-centered approach that strengthens motivation for change. It is especially effective for addictions and health behaviors.
- Relational Psychotherapy Emphasizes the healing power of the therapist-client relationship. It uses trust and safety as a foundation for change.
- Somatic Therapy Helps clients notice how emotions are stored in the body. It uses breath, movement, and awareness for healing trauma and stress.
Approach Description: My work rests on a simple idea: the patterns that hurt relationships live in the body as much as in the mind. When a conversation turns tense, most of us react before we've had a chance to think. Heart rate climbs, the jaw sets, someone goes quiet. Therapy that stays at the level of words often misses those moments. Mine is built around them.
With couples, I use the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). Early on, I get to know each of you, your history together, and what you learned about closeness growing up. From there, sessions become active. I may ask you to turn toward each other, try a conversation in a new way, or stay with a hard moment a little longer than feels comfortable, while I help you both stay regulated. The goal is for you to become experts in each other: how to calm your partner, how to repair quickly, and how to protect the relationship when life gets stressful.
With individuals, I draw more heavily on Somatic Experiencing and EMDR. Somatic Experiencing helps your nervous system release stress and old survival responses gently, without having to relive everything in detail. EMDR helps process painful memories that keep getting stirred up in the present, so they lose their charge. Many individual clients come to me because the same relationship patterns keep repeating, and we work on the roots of those patterns rather than only the symptoms.
Whether you come alone or as a couple, I'm direct, warm, and active in the room. I'll tell you what I'm noticing, and I'll ask for your honest feedback about what is and isn't helping. Longer sessions are available for private-pay clients who want more time to go deep.
Fees & Insurance
Fees
- Average Session Fee $185–$225
- Accepts Insurance
- BCBS, Wellmark
Education & Credentials
Emily Hurlin LISW, LCSW
- Female
- License # 092607
- Licensed in IA
- Practicing Since 2018
Education: I earned my MSW from the University of Iowa in 2018 and a BFA in Theatre from NYU's Tisch School of the Arts. I've completed PACT Level 2 training and continue to be mentored by PACT founder Dr. Stan Tatkin, along with EMDR training through EMDRIA and Intermediate-level Somatic Experiencing.
Emily Hurlin Practice Details
Therapy Sessions
- Available Online for residents of Illinois, Iowa, Tennessee
- Online Therapy Details: Secure, HIPAA-compliant video sessions via Zoom for Healthcare for couples located in Iowa, Illinois, and Tennessee. Standard and extended-length sessions available.
I'm Emily Hurlin, a clinical social worker licensed in Iowa, Illinois, and Tennessee, with eight years in practice. I train directly under Dr. Stan Tatkin, who developed the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). PACT draws on attachment theory, neuroscience, and the study of how people regulate each other. It's especially useful for couples who feel stuck or keep escalating.
In session, I pay close attention to what's happening between you as it happens. Instead of only talking about last week's argument, we slow down the moments when you lose each other and practice something different right there.
I also bring six years of Somatic Experiencing (Intermediate level, Somatic Experiencing International) and EMDR (EMDRIA-trained since 2019). Old hurts, from inside the relationship or from long before it, often show up as reactivity, shutdown, or distrust. These tools help calm the nervous system and resolve those older wounds, so you can respond from a steadier place. They work just as well with individuals as with couples.
I often work with:
• Couples recovering from infidelity or betrayal
• Partners caught in recurring, gridlocked conflict
• Couples who've drifted apart or lost intimacy
• Blended families working out new roles
• Engaged or newly committed couples building a strong foundation
• Individuals exploring relationship patterns, attachment wounds, or past trauma
I was raised in an LGBTQ+ household and welcome clients of every orientation, gender identity, and relationship structure.
All sessions are held online through Zoom for Healthcare for clients in Iowa, Illinois, and Tennessee. I accept Blue Cross Blue Shield/Wellmark. Private-pay sessions are $225 per hour, and private-pay clients can book extended sessions, which give us room to go deeper than a standard hour allows. Reach out for a free 20-minute consultation to see if we're a good fit.