Psychologist, PSY.D.
According to the National Women's Health Resource Center (NWHRC) approximately 6.1 million couples in the United States, or 10 percent of all couples of childbearing age, have difficulty conceiving. However, it still remains a topic that couples do not speak about easily. Therefore there is often an illusion that they are alone or ‘defective’ which is not true.
The course of infertility treatment can be highly variable. Some couples conceive immediately while others can take 1-2 years to achieve their goal. Research has shown that fertility increases when a woman’s stress decreases. Therefore, while going through tests and medical procedures, it is important to have outlets to express emotion and build concrete strategnies to cope with changes and challenges.
With infertility treatment there is also an increased chance of multiple births. While this doubles and triples the blessing it also increases the amount of planning and stress. The approach of ‘one-on-one’ parenting, that most of us experienced, is different to the parenting approach (called ‘zone defense’ by some parents) needed with multiples.
The choice to adopt comes about for many different reasons and can be expressed in a multitude of ways. Sometimes it is done formally through adoption agencies and the courts, and sometimes it is done between family members, legally or informally. Adoption crosses over many ethnic, cultural, religious, and socio-economic barriers. Adoption can happen at various ages for the parent and the child. Some families have both adoptive and biological children. Sometimes step-parents adopt their spouse’s children from a previous relationship. Adoptive siblings can be biologically related to each other or from different corners of the world.