Registered Social Worker, Registered Social Worker, MSW, RSW
Codependency reveals a complex dance of enmeshment and emotional dependency rooted in early relational patterns. Shaped by experiences of attachment insecurity and past traumas, individuals navigate relationships characterized by excessive care taking, people-pleasing, and a blurred sense of self. Like tendrils reaching from the past, these patterns perpetuate cycles of dysfunction and reinforce feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. Therapy offers a transformative space for unraveling these intricate dynamics, fostering awareness of unhealthy relational patterns and reclaiming autonomy and self-worth. Through healing attachment wounds and addressing underlying trauma, individuals can cultivate healthier boundaries and authentic connections, breaking free from the chains of codependency and rediscovering the power of their own agency and identity.
entangled relationships start when we are born and are learned behaviours. Learning to create healthy boundaries and recognize each person is still seperate within the relationship can help create healthy relationships.
Oh boy... I know this is a tough one.
What does Co-dependency actually look like?
These are 20 signs of Co-dependency...
Do you have...
Depression?
Anxiety?
Stress?
Low self-esteem?
Low levels of narcissism?
Familial dysfunction?
Low emotional expressivity?
These are some of the things (Marks et al., 2012) found to correlate with codependency.
According to Lancer, 2016; Mental Health America other signs of Co-dependency may also include:
Having poor boundaries;
Having a hard time saying no;
Having trouble communicating honestly;
Showing emotional reactivity;
Having a need for control, especially over others;
Feeling compelled to take care of people;
Feeling a need to be liked by everyone;
Feeling a need to always be in a relationship;
Fixating on mistakes;
Denying one’s own needs, thoughts, and feelings;
Having intimacy issues;
Confusing love and pity;
Displaying fear of abandonment.
If that's you or your partner I recommend couples therapy!
Codependency runs rampant in our societies today. Codependency is a sign of abandoning, giving up yourself and losing your true voice out of fear of not getting others validation, approval and praise. Enmeshed families are especially detrimental to your self esteem when you give up your own needs and desires in order to give others the daughter, sister, or wife they want. Together we help your psychic inner child grow up with you so that they do not have to keep you acting in codependent ways.
Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Registered Social Worker, BBA, MDiv, MSW, CMAT, CSAT
Depending on others for approval or a sense of purpose is a very stressful life. It can feel too scary to be alone while having someone close romantically can feel overwhelming. Despite these extremes, you wish for more stability. I have experience helping people discover and build internal structures so that they can be themselves and feel safe with others.
Reach out today to get the care that you deserve.
Registered Psychotherapist, RP (Registered Psychotherapist), Diploma TIRP, member CAPT
Codependent relationships can feel hopelessly stuck, seemingly impossible to leave or to negotiate. Unconscious emotions and patterns are often at work, interacting with our partner in ways we feel we don't have control over. Being able to talk deeply about this can lead to increasing understanding and freedom, as patterns and personal histories begin to make sense. Clarity can emerge, and with that the possibility of autonomy and choice.
A good description of codependency is “when a person’s self-esteem rises and falls based on the other person’s mood, tone or experience.” But it is actually much more than that. The person is overly involved in the other person’s needs, wants, problems and issues. In reality, some of the nicest people in the world are codependent, and if not watched, all relationships have the potential to become codependent. Codependency takes healthy emotions and corrupts them. For example, empathy is a positive emotion, but in codependency the empathy rises to a level where there is no division between the two people. Generosity is also a beautiful emotion, but in codependency it turns into control and over enmeshment. In addition, the codependent person often feels excessively guilty for having any need that may create discomfort in the other person, even if the need is healthy and necessary for their emotional well-being.
The undoing of this pattern is crucial to finding one's joy and peace. We unpack this as it relates to one's relationships to others as well as to the relationship with oneself.