A Parable:
Once upon time there was woman who loved oranges. She would go to a certain basket on a certain shelf and always found oranges in that basket. She was happy. Then one day there were no more oranges in the basket. She came back the next day and still no more oranges. Weeks went by. No Oranges. Months passed still no oranges. She complained bitterly to her friends. She wanted her orange. She even went to sages and asked what to do. She was told to look for oranges in other baskets. She refused saying she had gotten oranges from her basket for years. This was the only basket that would do. No other orange would taste as good. No other orange would be as satisfying. Her friends and others said, “We are not even sure that what you are saying is accurate. But in any event, there are no more oranges coming from that basket. You are suffering needlessly.”
Many clients have found this metaphor to be helpful. If you are not getting what you want from people or situations, it may be that you are looking for an orange from a basket that does not have oranges. In that case you either need to enjoy the apples ( or whatever fruit) that are in that basket or you need to find another basket that actually has oranges. Do not confuse the basket for the orange. It is the orange you love not the basket that supplies the orange. Many people waste years waiting for a basket to deliver fruit that it no longer supplies.