Love is not solely about how we feel, but also about how we choose to act and treat others. It involves making conscious decisions to prioritize the needs and desires of our loved ones, even when it may require sacrifice or compromise. Love prompts us to be supportive, understanding, and patient, even during challenging times, yes that is right, even when it is challenging! Loving with intention involves actively working on building and maintaining a resilient and healthy relationship with the person we love. This is much easier said than done but so critical to do.
HERE ARE 3 TIPS TO HELP YOU LOVE WITH MORE INTENTION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP:
Don’t keep score! Yep, the first thing to stop doing even if you feel justified. Keeping score just builds resentment, magnifies any negative feeling you may already have and puts you against your partner and ultimately the relationship loses. Be intentional about understanding your partners point of view, own up to any transgressions and apologize, and offer your perspective without criticizing your partner. Using “I statements” would be especially helpful!
Ask yourself, would my actions make the situation worse or better? It can be so easy to snapback but again this is a loss for the relationship. Take a deep breath and take pause, consider what you need in the moment to respond in a way that supports resolve vs magnifying negative feelings. Taking a time out to revisit the conversation with less emotion, venting your raw emotions with a close friend to provide space to respond more empathetically and communicating in writing what you feel, and need can also help in decreasing the chance of making a conflict worse.
Be mindful by being intentional! Being intentional can also extend to the decisions we make within the relationship. It means considering the impact of our actions on our partner and the relationship as a whole and making choices that align with your shared values and goals. Intentionality helps to create a sense of stability, commitment, and purpose within a relationship. So even when it is hard, be mindful to nurture and cultivate your relationship.
Consider therapy/relationship coaching to improve communication, build intimacy and establish heathy habits to improve your relationship. Even if you are at the point of considering separation or divorce these forms of treatment can help you clarify the best way to move forward.