Two people can stay married for 20, 30, even 40 years—and still reach a point where one or both begin wondering whether the marriage they built is the marriage they want to grow old in. From the outside, the question is almost inevitable: “Why would they divorce now?” They raised children together. Built careers. Bought […]
You’ve done the work. You’ve sat in the therapist’s office, revisited your childhood, named your patterns, and understood — really understood — where they come from. And yet something remains. A heaviness you can’t quite explain. A way of relating that keeps repeating. A ceiling you keep hitting, no matter how much insight you gain. […]
You bring something up because it genuinely hurt you. Maybe your partner broke a promise, said something hurtful, or crossed a boundary. But somewhere in the conversation, something changes. Suddenly, you’re explaining yourself. Defending yourself. Maybe even apologizing. And the thing you originally wanted to discuss? It has almost completely disappeared. That’s blame shifting. One […]
“I maschi non piangono.” Nel mio studio a Londra, dove lavoro da oltre vent’anni come psicoterapeuta, sento questa frase, o una sua variante, tornare spesso, non solo dalle donne italiane con cui lavoro, ma anche dagli uomini stessi, italiani o no, quando provano a spiegare perché hanno imparato a nascondere quello che sentono davvero. Perché […]
Relationships can be deeply meaningful, but they can also bring uncertainty, vulnerability, and fear. For people living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), these experiences may feel especially intense. BPD can affect the way a person experiences emotions, sees themselves, and relates to others. This does not mean that people with BPD cannot have healthy and […]
The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: Why One Partner Chases and the Other Withdraws Does it feel like the harder you try to connect, the further your partner pulls away? One person wants to talk it out immediately. The other needs room to breathe. One reaches for reassurance. The other goes quiet. Eventually, both people are exhausted—and what […]
Let’s be honest. You love your partner, but between late meetings, early mornings, three kinds of laundry, and scrolling the void at bedtime… date night has quietly entered the Witness Protection Program. Maybe you’re not avoiding each other.Maybe you’re just… doing life. But here’s the catch:Connection isn’t self-sustaining.It doesn’t refill overnight like your phone.You don’t […]
En consulta veo con frecuencia parejas que hablan constantemente y sienten que hace años no se comunican. Coordinan horarios, se cuentan el día, resuelven quién busca a los chicos o qué se cocina esta noche. Palabras van y vienen, sin pausa. Y aun así, cuando les pregunto de qué hablaron por última vez que realmente […]
Algo empieza a sentirse bien, y un segundo después aparece otra voz. No pregunta si está pasando algo agradable. Pregunta si eso está permitido. Si está bien sentirlo así, con esa intensidad, en ese momento, de esa manera. Y ahí, justo ahí, el placer se interrumpe, aunque el cuerpo siga en la misma posición. Esa […]
Se puede nombrar el cansancio. La rutina. El estrés, los hijos, el trabajo, la falta de tiempo. Son explicaciones cómodas, y en parte son ciertas. Pero debajo de esas explicaciones suele haber algo más difícil de decir en voz alta: hace tiempo que el deseo no aparece como antes, y no queda del todo claro […]
