The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men. I have often dealt with women who are involved with abusive, emotionally distant men and cannot see that this is not functional for them.…
Self-esteem is in essence a measurement. We rate ourselves against a variety of criteria to come up with a value of our worth. The big problem is that we often rate ourselves against impossible criteria and judge ourselves too harshly and produce an inaccurate picture. I have been offering online therapy for over 10 years. During that…
These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centered as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…
Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape? In the above example, a narcissist would be telling the codependent they are safe with them while trying to find an escape route for themselves! A codependent would be enabling the…
I recently had a deep and rather philosophical conversation with a client concerning how much we can truly exercise free will in our lives. Him, going through a difficult period in his life, preferred to believe that we have limited free will and most things that happen to us were predetermined in some shape or…
I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author, I have been challenged on occasions to prove that codependency truly exists and is not just a symptom of another disorder. The many clients I have who show similar debilitating symptoms…
Think about the following situations and the resulting behaviour : A text message from your partner’s former lover sends you into a spiral of rage, insecurity and self-doubt. They reassure you but you are convinced they are cheating. You want to change your job but fail to apply for a new one because you are convinced…
With the rapid increase of child and adolescent cases of anxiety, parents are scrambling trying to help their children from falling deeper. Some of the most widely used methods of coping with anxiety are cognitive behavioral therapy and art therapy as well as common medications. Although there is evidence that both approaches work, only half…
As we all know, puberty is a very stressful time. It’s a time of change in multiple facets of adolescent lives: physiological, physical, psychological and social as well. It takes some time to get used to all the turmoil. Some of the most shocking physical changes are the growth spurts, new growth of hair and…
My therapy has the focus is on ensuring those living with mental health issues can live with dignity. Dignity in psychological healthcare means ensuring those who need help are able to access it in a reasonable time and without fear of stigma, especially in vulnerable groups. Within my therapy we focus on treating people fairly…