These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centered as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…
By Benjamin Marr, M.A., M.B.C. Dedication I dedicate this article to my mother, who always encouraged me to use my assets, although they had their limitations due to my disabilities. She motivated me to use my remaining skills to develop my intellect to an even higher level, never to perceive myself as handicapped (“cap-in-hand”), but…
Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape? In the above example, a narcissist would be telling the codependent they are safe with them while trying to find an escape route for themselves! A codependent would be enabling the…
I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author, I have been challenged on occasions to prove that codependency truly exists and is not just a symptom of another disorder. The many clients I have who show similar debilitating symptoms…
Think about the following situations and the resulting behaviour : A text message from your partner’s former lover sends you into a spiral of rage, insecurity and self-doubt. They reassure you but you are convinced they are cheating. You want to change your job but fail to apply for a new one because you are convinced…
With the expansion of various technologies, there is an expansion of information. This information and who is passing it on can have an effect on the equilibrium of the self. Some content can be considered as inappropriate such as fake news which has a roll on effect on behaviour if not considered effectively. A good…
Standing up for yourself conversationally is needed in this day and age if faced with a person of a forceful manner. Invading peoples personal space with upfront aggression is over time a form of bullying. Bullying in a psychological way or a physical way can also cause harm. If you are in the position of being…
How to have an Intellectually Exciting but Emotionally Unsatisfying Conversatio I. The Problem Nowadays, it seems as if everyone is a Nazi, fascist or evil. Everywhere you look, people are labeling others as anti-American, racist, sexist, anti-Semitic, homophobic. People are accused of being killers or committing virtual genocide. It might feel emotionally satisfying to label…
What about Boundaries? This is a common issue that comes up in couples and family work and I just wanted to take a minute to talk about the different kind of boundaries. Physical Boundaries: This includes your personal space such as a hand shake, hugging or even kissing. This is calculated on the setting. Physical…
Engulfed by a Storm Those who have never been in a domestic violence situation are often perplexed as to how intelligent people become trapped and why they remain with someone who is abusive. In an effort to help provide clarity let us consider the dynamics of the following story: Imagine as if you are…