In a world that feels uncertain and scary, people can develop more rigid thinking to regain a sense of control or safety. Unfortunately, this can lead to broken relationships, loneliness, and isolation. Below, I address common thinking pitfalls related to relationships and how to manage them. Black and white thinking (also known as “all-or-nothing thinking”)- […]
Guest Post by Steven Kilmann, LMFT, MD When someone begins the journey of healing, it’s often because past pain has started to echo into their present—especially in their closest relationships. I know this firsthand. After surviving childhood abuse, I struggled for years to feel truly safe with anyone. Even when I found someone kind and patient, […]
Therapy is not your healer. I am not your healer. God is. That sentence will set you free if you let it. A woman sat with me recently — strong faith, the Word in her bones, several Christian counsellors behind her. She came in nervously. Will this one work? Will she be the one who […]
Your anxiety is not just chemical. Your depression is not just trauma. Underneath, almost always, there is a quiet idolatry no one ever taught you to look for. I am not talking about statues and altars. I am talking about the much more painful kind — the kind that happens when a wounded soul, in […]
You were never broken. You were buried. There is a difference, and the difference is everything. The world tells you to fix yourself. Even a lot of Christian self-help tells you to fix yourself with better verses. But the Father’s invitation is something entirely other. He is not interested in fixing you. He is interested […]
Quick Answer: When Does Infidelity Cross Into Emotional Abuse? Infidelity becomes emotional abuse when the betrayal is accompanied by ongoing patterns such as: Persistent lying or gaslighting about the affair Blaming you for the betrayal Minimizing your pain or dismissing your intuition Threats, intimidation, or public shaming Turning friends, family, or community against you If […]
Trauma doesn’t only live in our memories—it also lives in the body. Many people begin their healing journey through talk therapy and find it genuinely helpful for understanding what happened, naming emotions, and making sense of patterns. But for others, insight alone doesn’t bring the relief they expected. They can explain their story clearly and […]
Do you find yourself constantly worrying about your relationships? Do you often feel like you’re giving more than you’re receiving, or fear that the people you love might leave you at any moment? If so, you may be experiencing what psychologists call anxious attachment—and you’re not alone. Understanding Anxious Attachment Attachment styles are patterns of […]
Betrayal Trauma Therapy in Westlake Village: A Specialist’s Guide to Healing After Infidelity Betrayal trauma — a documented clinical response to a major attachment rupture, and one of the most painful experiences a nervous system can move through. That’s not weakness. Three days after discovery, my new clients almost always arrive in the same condition: […]
The 6 Stages of Healing After Infidelity (And Why Most Couples Get Stuck on Stage 3) In infidelity, most couples expect affair recovery to look like this: a few terrible weeks, a hard conversation, an apology, and slowly moving on. Real healing looks nothing like that. In more than a decade of working with couples […]
