Object Relations therapists in Mount Vernon, New York NY

My goal as a therapist is to create a warm, supportive, genuine and safe environment where you alone or with your significant other feel comfortable sharing with me your negative repetitive pattern that prevents you from from sailing through your relationship more smoothly. I want to help you to reinvent your marriage or long term relationship so that your lives intersect in the same space so I can get the opportunity to teach you how to respect each other's differences and teach you how you can agree to disagree and yet you are still able to say "I love you." I can help you both to come up with a common love language when you are home and happy or not so happy; and I can also teach you another love language that works well publicly. One works well in the bedroom and the other works well in front of strangers. All couples must develop love languages that work well privately and publicly. I want your relationship to maintain the love that brought you together in the first place. You may wonder why your love is not consistent, and you may notice that the respect you once had for one another has dissipated and the personal meaning once attached to your relationship is no longer there.. Most couples in your situation have what I refer to as their own "dance of anger" that happens again and again and again. By this, I mean couples fight about different issues but the way that they fight takes on a repetitive negative pattern and that pattern is their way of expressing anger and/or rage, regardless of the argument at hand. I refer to the way that most couples argue and fight as their "dance of anger". Remember, you can't change your partner and that is why you need professional advice. I can be your "go to person" who can teach you how to effectively communicate when you once again have disagreements that can be a threat to the survival of your relationship. I only accept accept couples who really want to preserve their relationship and can tell me that they are willing to put in the hard work, because married monogamous relationships are difficult to sustain, but by taking your marriage vows seriously, you both signed up for a loving partnership for a lifetime. Taking your vows and dancing at your wedding is just not enough because everyone's life is difficult. Life is more like "a bowl of cherries" and despite the succulent juice from the cherries, you will still have to deal with "the pits." We can't always dance through our problems. Despite making yourselves an expensive wedding or having gone to the court to take your vows,-what all married couples dwell on is trust. Is one person feeling like they don't trust the other or both feel the same way when it comes to trust, then pick up your phone to call Lorna Hayim-Baker at Riverdale Therapy & Counseling Services. I offer a free phone consultation before accepting new couples. I tell the truth when I counsel couples, and therefore, I vet each couple before I agree to meet with them in an "in person session" to avoid sessions where one partner or both can blow up my session because their personality does not mesh well with mine. My heart goes out to everyone who is about to experience "a bad breakup" or "a disastrous divorce.". I go many extra miles for each and every couple who comes into my office. I try to understand their shared stories and having a shared story is a lot easier to problem solve because they are in sync; but more often than not, I have to hear out each partner because they each have different stories to tell. I decipher their own personal stories because, in reality, there are two different versions of the same presenting problem and then their is the third version which is the most realistic story. It is only fair to hear each partner's voice as they often come to session offering their own point of view, but if one pays close attention, it often seems like there are 2-3 different problems; but in reality, there are two different sides about he same problem and sometimes even a third side that the therapist discovers and is being presented by each person. All three stories are different versions of the same problem. All sides are carefully listened to and It takes time to hear each person's interpretation of the same arguments. All stories are aired and I do my best to come up with possible solutions by providing lots of feedback. Couples can disagree with me about possible solutions that are offered. I have become very attuned to my couples because I have been doing this type of therapy for a very long time. I listen carefully to their presenting problems before providing feedback. I am not always right but I am pretty intuitive at this point in my career. Someone must try to understand the couple who came in to preserve their relationship and the hope is that I, as their therapist will remain neutral and unbiased in order to shed light on why the couples are not hearing each other as they each struggle to voice their complaints. More often than not, one or both partners become very defensive and neither one is listening to the other and their fight escalates. That's why they need an unbiased and caring therapist to intervene and help the couple deescalate by having them share the details of the original complaint that turned into a communication breakdown. Couples begin fighting right in front of me & my job is to stop their dispute and call a halt to their bickering so we can examine why their communication pattern broke down in the first place. Both partners are acting out and becoming nasty and defensive. Each partner had the same wish, which was to have their voice heard as he or she expresses their own complaint. I need to point out when their wheels are spinning but they are getting nowhere and they are in fact, stuck. Couples need to stop and listen to each other so I can help them come up with a plan that can get them "unstuck." To be an effective couples' counselor means that at the end of the session, the couple walks out with a sense of having a shared understanding of their problems and with a shared sense of hope because they learned how to tackle the types of ineffective communications that lead to "blow out fights" Hopefully, I will be your therapist who teaches you how to not add fuel to the fire. I want to be part of the solution and teach couples how to stop turning molehills into mountains. I am the therapist who loves watching love as it grows and makes both partners seem so much more mature.  

To change, to grow, to connect, to stay connected, to be the very best of yourself are the reasons to come into therapy. Those issues are at the center of my work. Understanding how you got here, where you want to go, and how to get there. We begin with the here and now, and slowly, at your own pace, unpeel the proverbial onion (which is know to cause tears) and you create your life without barriers.  

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I am a very experienced psychiatrist and have worked with all kinds of people with many different problems. I tend to see people who have struggled to find someone who understands them because they don't fit neatly in the traditional diagnostic categories. I believe that we are all human beings who are worthy of respect and compassion because, as humans, we tend to be insecure and make mistakes, but want to learn and grow and mature and be the best people we can be. As humans, we are social creatures who need other humans to help us when we feel alone, or lost, or not good enough. Sometimes we just want to be with others to love and be loved, to share life, to laugh and have fun, and to be part of a family. None of these seemingly normal things come easily. Sometimes we get depressed or anxious, or can't focus or concentrate. Sometimes we are scared and have bad dreams because bad things have happened to us, and, although we don't really want to remember, we need someone who can help us make sense of things so we can go on with our lives. This is some of the work that has become my purpose in life. And it's the best feeling to help others and to see the ripple effect in people's lives when others around them start getting healthier too.  

For forty years as a respected and trusted psychologist in the Queens and New York regions, Dr. Joel Stukalin has provided quality couples counseling, marriage counseling and individual psychotherapy and psychoanalysis to his clients from many cultures, religions and ethnicities.  

I believe that therapy provides people a unique opportunity to explore and understand themselves in a way that is empowering and transformative. It’s easy to get caught up in the same routines and patterns of behavior you’ve always known, including those that don’t work for you anymore. Creating a space to delve into those patterns, explore your feelings about them, and consider new ways of being with yourself and others can be a meaningful catalyst for change.  

I am a clinical psychologist and psychoanalytic therapist with over two decades of clinical experience. I strive to work collaboratively and to engage with close, attuned listening to the intrapsychic, the interpersonal, the developmental, and the sociocultural roots of that with which you might be struggling. I frequently work with depression, anxiety, identity and relational conflicts, and disordered relationship to the body, in both individual and couples therapy.  

Often times, people find that they experience unhappiness, anxiety, or repeated obstacles to getting what they want. This can lead to problems with relationships, work, or other areas of our lives. Through a cooperative, supportive relationship with a therapist you trust and feel comfortable with, you can learn how to cope with what the "universe" throws your way, and choose behaviors and habits that can help you get more of what you want from life. By talking with someone you trust and feel comfortable with, I believe anyone can learn to know themselves better and to live more consciously and deliberately.  

I am a dedicated and compassionate mental health professional with 20 years of experience supporting individuals, couples, and families through life’s most challenging experiences. My work focuses on trauma, familial relationships, mental health disorders, and personal growth, with a deep commitment to creating a safe and empowering space for each client. Throughout my career, I have specialized in areas including anxiety, depression, PTSD, personality disorders, relationship challenges, and life transitions, among others. I utilize evidence-based, trauma-informed approaches to help clients process past experiences, build coping skills, and achieve meaningful and sustainable change. I also provide support for complex issues such as abuse recovery, grief, parenting challenges, and navigating identity and relational dynamics. I am passionate about helping clients cultivate resilience, self-awareness, and emotional well-being. My goal is to empower individuals to move beyond patterns that limit their growth, restore connection in their relationships, and develop the tools to thrive in their personal and professional lives. I approach each client with empathy, professionalism, and a focus on individualized care tailored to their unique journey.  

Something in you knows that what you're carrying runs deeper than the presenting problem. Many of the people I work with are thoughtful, capable, and outwardly composed-yet internally they live with anxiety, depression, chronic tension or pain, relentless self-criticism, or a sense that something essential is blocked, muted, or just out of reach. These struggles may surface in mood, in the body, in behavior, or in relationships-including sexuality and intimacy-but they are rarely contained to any one area. They tend to reflect deeper emotional and relational patterns formed early in life, often before language, that continue to shape how a person approaches closeness, vulnerability, agency, pleasure, and self-expression. My work centers on how early experience shapes the capacity for self-regulation, desire, connection, and meaning throughout life-and particularly on how people come to know what they need and want, how they learn to express or inhibit those impulses, and what happens when these capacities become conflicted, constricted, or difficult to sustain. I integrate psychoanalytic hypnotherapy, somatic awareness, and clinical sexology within a reflective, depth-oriented process. Hypnosis functions as a central clinical tool-creating conditions for deeper internal contact with emotional, bodily, and unconscious experience that can be difficult to reach through conversation alone. The aim is not only relief from symptoms, but the development of a more coherent and compassionate relationship with one's inner life: sensations, emotions, impulses, and desires. This work is oriented toward lasting psychological change-and toward greater freedom in how one relates to oneself, one's body, and one's capacity for connection, authenticity, and vitality. It is best suited to those ready to move beyond symptom management toward something more fundamental.