Internal Family Systems therapists in Throgs Neck, New York NY

If you’ve been feeling stuck, lonely, anxious, or unhappy, you're in the right place. Let’s unpack your story together.  

My goal as a therapist is to create a warm, supportive, genuine and safe environment where you alone or with your significant other feel comfortable sharing with me your negative repetitive pattern that prevents you from from sailing through your relationship more smoothly. I want to help you to reinvent your marriage or long term relationship so that your lives intersect in the same space so I can get the opportunity to teach you how to respect each other's differences and teach you how you can agree to disagree and yet you are still able to say "I love you." I can help you both to come up with a common love language when you are home and happy or not so happy; and I can also teach you another love language that works well publicly. One works well in the bedroom and the other works well in front of strangers. All couples must develop love languages that work well privately and publicly. I want your relationship to maintain the love that brought you together in the first place. You may wonder why your love is not consistent, and you may notice that the respect you once had for one another has dissipated and the personal meaning once attached to your relationship is no longer there.. Most couples in your situation have what I refer to as their own "dance of anger" that happens again and again and again. By this, I mean couples fight about different issues but the way that they fight takes on a repetitive negative pattern and that pattern is their way of expressing anger and/or rage, regardless of the argument at hand. I refer to the way that most couples argue and fight as their "dance of anger". Remember, you can't change your partner and that is why you need professional advice. I can be your "go to person" who can teach you how to effectively communicate when you once again have disagreements that can be a threat to the survival of your relationship. I only accept accept couples who really want to preserve their relationship and can tell me that they are willing to put in the hard work, because married monogamous relationships are difficult to sustain, but by taking your marriage vows seriously, you both signed up for a loving partnership for a lifetime. Taking your vows and dancing at your wedding is just not enough because everyone's life is difficult. Life is more like "a bowl of cherries" and despite the succulent juice from the cherries, you will still have to deal with "the pits." We can't always dance through our problems. Despite making yourselves an expensive wedding or having gone to the court to take your vows,-what all married couples dwell on is trust. Is one person feeling like they don't trust the other or both feel the same way when it comes to trust, then pick up your phone to call Lorna Hayim-Baker at Riverdale Therapy & Counseling Services. I offer a free phone consultation before accepting new couples. I tell the truth when I counsel couples, and therefore, I vet each couple before I agree to meet with them in an "in person session" to avoid sessions where one partner or both can blow up my session because their personality does not mesh well with mine. My heart goes out to everyone who is about to experience "a bad breakup" or "a disastrous divorce.". I go many extra miles for each and every couple who comes into my office. I try to understand their shared stories and having a shared story is a lot easier to problem solve because they are in sync; but more often than not, I have to hear out each partner because they each have different stories to tell. I decipher their own personal stories because, in reality, there are two different versions of the same presenting problem and then their is the third version which is the most realistic story. It is only fair to hear each partner's voice as they often come to session offering their own point of view, but if one pays close attention, it often seems like there are 2-3 different problems; but in reality, there are two different sides about he same problem and sometimes even a third side that the therapist discovers and is being presented by each person. All three stories are different versions of the same problem. All sides are carefully listened to and It takes time to hear each person's interpretation of the same arguments. All stories are aired and I do my best to come up with possible solutions by providing lots of feedback. Couples can disagree with me about possible solutions that are offered. I have become very attuned to my couples because I have been doing this type of therapy for a very long time. I listen carefully to their presenting problems before providing feedback. I am not always right but I am pretty intuitive at this point in my career. Someone must try to understand the couple who came in to preserve their relationship and the hope is that I, as their therapist will remain neutral and unbiased in order to shed light on why the couples are not hearing each other as they each struggle to voice their complaints. More often than not, one or both partners become very defensive and neither one is listening to the other and their fight escalates. That's why they need an unbiased and caring therapist to intervene and help the couple deescalate by having them share the details of the original complaint that turned into a communication breakdown. Couples begin fighting right in front of me & my job is to stop their dispute and call a halt to their bickering so we can examine why their communication pattern broke down in the first place. Both partners are acting out and becoming nasty and defensive. Each partner had the same wish, which was to have their voice heard as he or she expresses their own complaint. I need to point out when their wheels are spinning but they are getting nowhere and they are in fact, stuck. Couples need to stop and listen to each other so I can help them come up with a plan that can get them "unstuck." To be an effective couples' counselor means that at the end of the session, the couple walks out with a sense of having a shared understanding of their problems and with a shared sense of hope because they learned how to tackle the types of ineffective communications that lead to "blow out fights" Hopefully, I will be your therapist who teaches you how to not add fuel to the fire. I want to be part of the solution and teach couples how to stop turning molehills into mountains. I am the therapist who loves watching love as it grows and makes both partners seem so much more mature.  

If you are looking for an authentic, empathetic, and non-judgmental therapist, you've definitely come to the right spot.  

I view therapy as a testing ground for clients to bring their full selves and be met with curiosity, acceptance, and respect.  

FREE INTRO - to see if we're a good fit. My main focus is working with ACAs - adults who were raised in an alcoholic / narcissistic family. The long-term goal is to uncover your True Self, develop a Loving Parent voice, heal the Wounded Child, & encourage the Healthy Child to shine. Together we identify the harsh beliefs you absorbed from your family, school & religion, and work on transforming them into positive do-able ‘rules’ to live by. EXP: “I know what I know”, “I have a right to my needs”, “”There’s no such thing as perfect”….. I also provide a safe place for you to experience painful or joyful emotions you weren't allowed to feel growing up. ACA Recovery work is about facing the reality of early damage, and working to overcome the after-effects. “Trying to flourish in an atmosphere of criticism is like trying to get sober in a bar.”  

You have all the tools you need to be successful in life, and my role is to help you access and use those tools to help improve your life.  

Psychotherapy (or counseling) is talking with a trained professional about your fears, concerns, behaviors, desires and dreams. My goal is to help you better understand yourself. You may seek treatment with me because you have been given a specific mental health diagnosis. Or you may seek treatment because you would like help dealing with a specific challenge such as job dissatisfaction or difficulty finding a partner. During a psychotherapy session, you will learn more about your behaviors, your thoughts and your feelings. Psychotherapy allows you to understand and take control of your life through new knowledge and coping skills.  

Never forget how amazing you are! Let’s remove anything that’s blocking you from recognizing your own greatness.  

It's time for you to take back control and feel empowered in all areas of your life. Together, we'll navigate challenges and uncover your strengths to unlock your potential to self discovery and healing.  

I believe that we all have a story. And if we all took the time to listen to one another's story, we'd all probably be in a much better place both mentally and emotionally. But that's what's great about therapy. My therapy space is a space for you to come in and tell your story. We will explore your relationships, past experiences, present challenges, and so much more. I operate from a relational approach, meaning that I believe you and I are collaborating on creating the therapeutic space that is unique to you and I. We can use the relationship you and I are building to help give you greater insight into what may not be working in your life currently, and we can identify how to make lasting change with this new level of awareness.