Therapy really can radically alter your life, but it can also keep you feeling like you are going in circles.
Therapy is an investment. Of your time, your money and your emotional energy. If you find YOUR therapist, you really can change your life. Therapy, with the right therapist, can help you to learn a lot about yourself, and your life choices. It can help you to better understand why you think the way you do, why you experience certain emotions and how to better regulate them, and how to cope more effectively with the challenges that life throws your way.
It is important to remember that Therapy is not an off the shelf item similar to what you would get at Target or Best Buy. It is highly individualized, and you may need to look inmate than one place to find YOUR therapist. Here are a few ways to help you find the best help for you.
1. Find the right therapist. They really are not all alike. Everyone has their own expertise, methodology, and personality. It is crucial that you find the right therapist for you. It may take you 3-5 a”interviews” to find the right therapist for you. That’s right, treat it like an interview. Here are a few tips….Create a short list of qualified, licensed therapists. Publications like Psychology Today have a listing for qualified “candidates” in your area, and as a bonus, they will all have a short blurb about themselves and what they like to work on in their profile. Questions you should ask during the interview(s) should include: What type of therapy do you practice? How will this therapy help me with my specific problems? What scientific data is there to support the effectiveness of this therapy? What will this therapy entail? How successful has this therapy been for your other clients? And, How long will this therapy need to go on to treat my particular concerns. Now, maybe you noticed that these questions all center around you and your specific problems. IF so, that’s great! Because that leads us to our next category….
2. Be open and honest. Now, let’s face it, you probably won’t be comfortable telling your therapist EVERYTHING on that initial visit, but you will have to come clean as you go along. Honesty and openness with your therapist is going to be the cornerstone of your successful therapeutic journey. Now, it may be comporting to know that your therapist is bound by law as well as ethics to keep all of your conversations confidential, unless there is an imminent danger toy or others. That’s it, everything else you talk about he cannot share without your permission. So go ahead, and let it ll out. The more your therapist knows, the better they will be able to guide you o your journey to a happier, healthier you.
3. Consistency is Crucial! You gotta go…EVERY time! There will be some days that you don’t want to go. But you have to make yourself go. It is that important. Liken it to brushing your teeth…it may not be something you feel like doing, but I guarantee you will feel better once its done.
4. Practice what you learn. The only way to get results is to put the work in. The processes that your therapist gives to you as “homework” need to be done at every opportunity. It could be a breathing exercise, journalling your thoughts, or stepping out of your comfort zone and introducing yourself to new people, places or activities. Take a lesson from Nike and just do it. Your therapist is not giving you these exercises just for kicks, they nearly always work, or at the very least they will enable you to give feedback to your therapist of your results and perceptions, allowing you both to alter or modify the assignment to make it more effective for you.
5. Keep a therapy journal. It can just be a small notebook that you use to jot done your thoughts and ideas as the week progresses, your results of activities that you were asked to do (see above) or deeper or additional thoughts about what you discussed at your last session to bring up at your next visit.
6. Trust the process, and the therapist. It may feel anywhere between silly and ridiculously hard, but if you apply yourself and really open up to your therapist, you will see results. Your therapist has literally had years of training, and maybe even years of practical application of all of these processes, and if you will just simply trust them, they will help guide you to the point that you can begin to see things a little more clearly and help you to make the changes to your life that you are so desperately seeking.
7. Let them know what you think. Give your therapist plenty of feedback (see number 2) so that they can make adjustments or better educate you as to what is going on and what you can expect. It will make it better for you and them, and keep you moving on towards your goal to a happier, healthier life.