How the “Feeling Broken” Trend Can Hold Us Back

Rethinking the Story We Tell Ourselves

Introduction

Let’s be real: everywhere you look these days, people are talking about how “broken” they feel. Whether it’s in conversations, social media posts, movies, or even song lyrics, the idea that we’re all somehow messed up has kind of taken over. While it’s good and healthy that more people are willing to open up about their struggles, there’s a downside to consistently seeing ourselves this way. Of course, feeling broken is part of the human experience; however, it’s a part, not the whole, of who we are. This piece takes a closer look at how the “broken” narrative can actually make us feel less in control of our own lives and choices.

Where Does This “Broken” Feeling Come From?

The word “broken” gets tossed around a lot, especially online. Everybody’s sharing their struggles, which helps stop the stigma—but it can also make it seem like being broken is a core part of who we are. Honestly, the more we tell ourselves we are fundamentally flawed, the easier it is to forget that we have the power to change and make decisions for ourselves.

What’s Fueling This Trend?

• Side-by-side lives on social media: Seeing everyone’s highlight reel can make us feel like we’re the only ones struggling, which just adds to the “I must be broken” feeling.
• Uncertainty all around: With so much going on in the world—economically, politically, environmentally—it’s hard not to feel off-balance.
• Mental health talk everywhere: There’s more mental health awareness, which is great, but sometimes it seems like every tough emotion means there’s something wrong with us.
• Disconnected, even when connected: We might have hundreds of friends online and still feel alone, which can feed the idea that there’s something wrong with us.

How the “Broken” Story Boxes Us In

Here’s the catch: when we start to see ourselves as fundamentally damaged, it’s easy to get stuck. That “broken” label can make us feel powerless, as if our problems define us and there’s nothing we can do about it. We might…

• Stop believing we have what it takes to make positive changes.
• Rely more on others to “fix” us, instead of trusting ourselves.
• Let the idea of being “broken” drown out our strengths and what makes us unique.
• Miss out on opportunities because we doubt our own abilities.

The bottom line? This mindset can chip away at our sense of autonomy—our ability to steer our own lives—and our sense of agency, the belief that our actions matter.

Another problem with the “broken” story is that it can quietly lower our expectations for ourselves. If we believe we are permanently damaged, we may stop asking what is possible and start accepting less than we actually want. That does not mean we should ignore pain or pretend everything is fine. It means we can acknowledge difficult experiences without turning them into a permanent identity. A person can be hurt, confused, grieving, anxious, or overwhelmed and still be capable of learning, healing, choosing, and moving forward.

Choosing a Different Narrative

We don’t have to keep telling ourselves the “broken” story. Instead, we can focus on growth, resilience, and the ability to adapt and try again. Here are some ways to start shifting gears:

This shift matters because the words we use shape beliefs about ourself and how we respond to life. Saying “I am broken” can sound final, as if nothing can change. Saying “I am going through something hard” leaves room for movement. It reminds us that our current situation is not our entire identity. Language cannot solve every problem on its own, but it can either trap us in one story or help us imagine a better one.

1. Remind yourself that struggles are part of being human, not proof that you’re broken.
2. Look for moments where you acted, chose, or bounced back—these are signs of your agency.
3. Connect with people who see your potential, not just your pain.
4. Give yourself credit for the small wins and efforts.

It also helps to remember that growth is usually not dramatic or instant. Most of the time, it happens through ordinary choices: reaching out to a friend, setting a boundary, asking for help, resting when needed, or trying again after a setback. These small decisions may not feel impressive, but they are evidence that we are still showing up for ourselves. Over time, those choices can rebuild confidence and remind us that we are not powerless.

Wrapping Up

Feeling “broken” can be a heavy load to carry, but it’s not the whole story. By letting go of that label, we make more room for choice, growth, and hope. The uncertainty of change is one of the hardest things we encounter throughout our lives, yet an examined, fruitful life requires mental flexibility and the courage to create the life you most desire. You’re more than your struggles—and you have the power to shape your own path, one step at a time. One potential first step is reflecting on the words you use when talking about yourself or describing yourself to others.