Setting healthy boundaries is something many of us did not effectively learn in childhood, even in the most well meaning and loving of families. We have, instead, learned to live life to serve others and to prioritize the needs of others, even when doing so harms ourselves. My approach is to help my clients create healthy boundaries, advocate for the self, learn to communicate our needs clearly and directly, and then learn to act upon the needs we have outlined to those we love so we can cultivate healthy and mutually effective relationships. Cutting the ties of codependency is central to this process: staying in one's own lane, letting others solve their own problems, offering compassion and help when asked, letting go of the rescue fantasy, living without an emotional hangover, and learning to accept that there is much we cannot control.