Online Self Esteem therapists in Ilkeston, England ENG, United Kingdom UK

Struggling with self-esteem can show up in many ways—doubting yourself, feeling not good enough, or constantly comparing yourself to others. These patterns can make it hard to fully enjoy relationships, work, or even your own accomplishments. We can explore where these feelings come from and begin to build a more grounded sense of confidence and self-worth. You don’t have to keep battling with self-doubt on your own—I’m here to help you reconnect with your strengths and feel more at ease in who you are  

Self-esteem is a complex concept that includes how you feel about yourself, your self-worth, how capable you are (self-efficacy) and self-confidence. If you have low self-esteem, chances are you have struggled in relationships, have experienced domestic abuse, or have internalised hurtful comments from other people. Perhaps you are judgmental and critical of yourself. Therapy can help work through your difficult feelings, reconnect to yourself, regain your confidence and learn relationship and other skills to help in the future.  

Confidence and self esteem are areas we work with all the time. I run a Self Confidence seminar which helps people understand and to learn how to deal with their issues in this area.  

People's relationship towards themselves is central to my approach to therapy. I am highly specialised in working with experiences of low self esteem, low self worth, self-hatred, and a struggle to value and love yourself.  

"my self-esteem and confidence has improved" (Clare)  

Low self-esteem often involves more than simply lacking confidence. It can affect relationships, decision-making, boundaries, self-expression, and the way you speak to yourself. Together, we can explore the experiences and beliefs that may have shaped your self-worth, develop greater self-understanding, and work towards a more compassionate and balanced relationship with yourself.  

Our overall wellbeing is affected by our level of self-esteem...to what degree we value ourselves as worthy of respect, are self-confident, are able to use our voice to set our boundaries and ask for our needs to be met. Negative thoughts we carry about ourselves at our core can cause our self-esteem to be low. The goal of therapy is to understand these core beliefs we hold about ourselves and reframe them or alter them in line with the present so that we can engage with life in a healthy way that brings us peace and happiness.  

When you have low self-esteem you can feel unloved, worthless, lack confidence and think negatively about yourself. Counselling is a supportive process which can help you to explore the way you feel, get to the root of what has happened for you and can help you grow and build a healthy sense of self-esteem and confidence.  

I use a compassionate, solution-focused approach to help my clients boost their self-esteem.  

Self esteem is a measure of your relationship with yourself. I can help you redefine that relationship by reviewing your core values, personal expectations and influences on you and your current state, and by providing guidance on how to be kinder to yourself. If confidence levels are low, I can help with very simple but effective ways to help you regain previous levels of self-belief, particularly if underpinned by excessive dependence on negative perceptions  

I offer support for low self-esteem and issues related to self-worth, including persistent self-criticism, feelings of inadequacy, shame, and difficulty recognising or trusting your own value. Many people I work with struggle with an internal sense of not being “enough,” which can affect relationships, decision-making, boundaries, and overall emotional wellbeing. My approach is grounded in psychoanalytic and relational psychotherapy, providing a safe and reflective space to explore how these beliefs about the self may have developed over time. Together, we may look at early attachment experiences, relational dynamics, and internalised messages that have shaped how you see yourself and relate to others. I work in a trauma-informed way, recognising how experiences such as emotional neglect, criticism, rejection, or relational trauma can contribute to ongoing difficulties with self-esteem. Therapy offers a space to gently explore and begin to shift these patterns, at a pace that feels safe and manageable. I also integrate somatic awareness to help you notice how self-critical beliefs and emotions are held in the body, supporting greater grounding and self-regulation. Psychoeducation may be used to deepen understanding of these processes, and where appropriate, I may incorporate EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques / tapping) to support emotional processing and reduce intensity of self-critical states. Therapy is collaborative and focused on developing a more compassionate, stable, and realistic sense of self, supporting you to relate to yourself with greater acceptance, confidence, and ease over time.  

In modern life, we often feel that self-esteem is something that comes from our achievements, successes and how we are perceived by others. We often fall into the trap of believing that other people are the cause of our low self-esteem. However, self-esteem flows from the inside-out. What this means is that as we get back in touch with who we really are and allow ourselves to flow from that space our self-esteem naturally begins to increase.  

How Therapy Can Help with Self-Esteem - The way you see yourself shapes everything—your relationships, your career choices, how you handle challenges, and even your overall happiness. If you struggle with low self-esteem, you're likely your own harshest critic, and that internal voice can be exhausting and limiting. The good news is that self-esteem isn't fixed—it can grow and strengthen with the right support, and therapy offers a powerful path toward seeing yourself more clearly and compassionately. What Low Self-Esteem Looks Like Low self-esteem goes beyond occasional self-doubt. It's a persistent negative view of yourself that might show up as: Constant self-criticism or negative self-talk Feeling like you're not good enough, no matter what you achieve Difficulty accepting compliments or believing positive feedback Comparing yourself unfavorably to others Perfectionism and fear of failure People-pleasing and difficulty saying no Avoiding challenges because you assume you'll fail Staying in unhealthy relationships because you don't think you deserve better Feeling like an imposter in your own life Apologizing excessively or taking blame for things that aren't your fault Difficulty making decisions because you don't trust yourself These patterns can hold you back from pursuing opportunities, building healthy relationships, and living authentically. How Therapy Helps Uncovering the Roots Low self-esteem doesn't appear out of nowhere—it's usually built over time through experiences like childhood criticism, emotional neglect, bullying, trauma, failed relationships, or repeated disappointments. Therapy helps you understand where your negative self-view originated. This isn't about blaming others; it's about recognizing that your inner critic was learned, which means it can be unlearned. Challenging the Inner Critic That harsh voice in your head isn't telling you the truth—it's repeating old messages that may have never been accurate in the first place. Therapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), helps you identify these negative thought patterns and challenge them with evidence and compassion. You learn to question thoughts like "I'm worthless" or "I always mess things up" and replace them with more balanced, realistic perspectives. Separating Your Worth from Your Performance Many people tie their self-esteem to achievements, appearance, or others' approval. Therapy helps you recognize that your worth is inherent—it doesn't depend on what you do, how you look, or what others think of you. This shift from conditional to unconditional self-worth is transformative and freeing. Processing Past Wounds If your low self-esteem stems from trauma, abuse, or painful experiences, therapies like EMDR can help process these memories so they have less emotional power over you. When you heal the wounds that taught you to see yourself negatively, your self-esteem naturally begins to improve. Developing Self-Compassion Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a good friend. Therapy helps you cultivate this gentler internal voice, recognizing that everyone makes mistakes, has flaws, and struggles sometimes—and that doesn't make you less worthy. You learn to comfort yourself rather than attack yourself when things go wrong. Identifying Your Strengths and Values Low self-esteem often creates tunnel vision where you only see your perceived flaws and failures. Therapy helps you take a more balanced inventory—recognizing your strengths, accomplishments, positive qualities, and the values that guide you. Many people are genuinely surprised to discover how much they've been discounting about themselves. Setting Healthy Boundaries When you don't value yourself, you're more likely to let others mistreat you, overextend yourself, or stay in situations that diminish you. Therapy helps you recognize that you deserve respect and teaches you how to set boundaries that protect your wellbeing. Each time you honor a boundary, you reinforce your own worth. Building Assertiveness Learning to express your needs, opinions, and feelings without excessive fear or guilt is crucial for healthy self-esteem. Therapy provides a safe space to practice assertiveness and develop confidence in your right to take up space, have needs, and be heard. Breaking People-Pleasing Patterns If you've learned to derive worth from making others happy or avoiding conflict, therapy helps you examine this pattern and gradually shift toward living more authentically. You learn that disappointing someone occasionally doesn't make you a bad person, and that your needs matter just as much as anyone else's. Celebrating Progress, Not Just Perfection Therapy helps you recognize and celebrate small wins and efforts, not just major achievements. You learn to acknowledge growth, courage, and trying—even when things don't turn out perfectly. This builds a more sustainable, realistic foundation for self-esteem. Experiencing Unconditional Acceptance Perhaps one of the most healing aspects of therapy is experiencing genuine acceptance from your therapist. In person-centred therapy especially, you're met with unconditional positive regard—you're valued simply for being you, not for what you accomplish or how you perform. This experience can begin to rewire your belief about your own worthiness. Types of Therapy That Help Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Directly targets negative thought patterns and helps you develop more balanced thinking about yourself. Person-Centred Therapy: Offers unconditional acceptance that helps you internalize a more positive self-view. EMDR: Processes traumatic experiences that damaged your self-esteem. Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT): Specifically designed to build self-compassion and counter self-criticism. Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores how early relationships and experiences shaped your self-concept. Group Therapy: Provides connection with others who struggle similarly and offers opportunities to receive positive feedback and support. What Growth Looks Like As therapy progresses and your self-esteem strengthens, you might notice: Quieter, kinder internal dialogue More willingness to try new things or take healthy risks Ability to accept compliments and believe them Setting and maintaining boundaries without excessive guilt Making decisions with more confidence Less comparison to others Greater resilience when things go wrong Choosing relationships and situations that honor your worth Feeling more comfortable being yourself.  

I work with clients regarding building self esteem both in a person centred way, feeling heard and validated, as well as at times using CBT in order to reframe thoughts in order to change feelings and work towards more empowering behaviours. These behaviours in turn encourage more supportive and compassionate self talk which enables the client to feel better about themselves.  

My holistic, relational approach to therapy helps women to identify negative or limiting self-beliefs about themselves in a safe, non-judgemental space. This involves parts-work where individuals develop the capability to embrace and integrate all parts of self - helping to move from self-criticism and aversion; to self-compassion and acceptance. This restored sense of awareness and wholeness awakens the calm, clarity and confidence that is already within and awaits you.  

Low self esteem can be paralysing and can lead to other issues. however it does not need to be this way. I use both my personal and professional experience to help clients find rediscover themselves and thrive in life. I use both counselling and coaching skills to support clients on their journey.  

Self esteem is the core of our well being. We often lose it through life experience but we can regain it. I find EMDR particularly helpful in developing greater Self esteem  

Self-esteem, and confidence, can be so fragile and we can allow it to be taken from us without knowing we have a choice. If you hear a version of yourself often enough, eventually you believe it. Positive attention throughout our childhood can carry us a long way, just as unhealthy attention can be just as far reaching. We live in a society that thrusts expectation in front of us nearly constantly, and trying to live up to it can be painful and demoralising. How would you like to be able to know who you are and start living your life how you want it? Through questioning your self-beliefs, and where they come from, you can begin to feel better with who you are. By not trying to live up to standards and expectations set by others, you can find strength in doing it your way. Is low self-esteem about not being good enough, or about you trying to be somebody or something that you are not?  

I think it is helpful to work on an individuals relationship to the self and how one can have misconceptions about how you are seen in the world and how to develop a better appreciation and understanding of the self. If you feel rejected or marginalized by society do you continue to put yourself down or do we learn how to engage in a different kinder relationship with the self? This is the premise that I try to develop in my work.  

Empowerment begins with embracing your unique worth. As a dedicated psychologist specializing in women's self-esteem, I'm here to guide you on a journey of self-discovery and confidence building. Together, we'll navigate the intricacies of self-esteem, address limiting beliefs, and develop personalized strategies to amplify your sense of self-worth. Whether you're seeking to break free from self-doubt, define your identity, or foster a positive self-image, our collaborative work aims to empower you on the path to embracing your authentic, empowered self.